The black woman is among the most maligned groups in America. She does not have "good hair;" black men abandon her for white women because she is too bossy and assertive; she has the highest HIV rate of women under 25; she is nothing but a welfare queen raising children with no fathers present. Under such negative connotations, it's hard to see any silver lining to being black and female in this country, making it all the more important for her to develop a high sense of self-esteem.
Hair
- Your hair is nappy. You cannot run an industrial-strength comb through it. So what? You're mad at that mess atop your head you were born with? Who cares if it doesn't conform with more Euro-centric, straight hairstyles? As a black women, you have arguably the most diverse set of hairstyles to choose from, more so than women of other races (many of whom emulate black hairstyles). Everything from bouncy bobs to curly little afros are yours. Embrace them, and stay away from those relaxers!
No Black Men Anywhere!
- News Flash, ladies: Essence, Ebony and the thousand other news outlets that made it a recurring story: most black men do marry black women. According to a 2003 study performed by the Association of Black Sociologists, only 1 out of 10 black men will marry someone of a different race. That means 90% of black men marry black women. And while 45% of black women have never strolled down the aisle, the overall black marriage rate increased from 46.1% in 1996 to 47.9% in 2002. For those still looking for Mr. Right, consider interracial dating if you cannot find any black men who suit you. Your knight in shining armor might come in a different skin color.
Too "Assertive"
- So you've been told that you're too assertive or independent. There's nothing wrong with that. As long as you're not biting off people's heads left and right for the slightest things, being assertive is crucial to surviving in this tough world. As is having a strong financial foundation. Go on and make your money. Everything else will fall in place in due time.
Just Live!
- The media will always try breaking down the disadvantaged for ratings, not giving a care in the world to any resulting repercussions. Magazines will keep saying black women are not marriage material. Modeling agencies will keep measuring beauty by Caucasian standards. While there have been some breakthroughs in both areas for black women, reality is, you can't change how the press disseminates news. Walk in your own shadow and know that as a black woman, you are among the most unique individuals walking this planet. Tell that to yourself every day, and everything else will seem futile in comparison.
