It is possible to build self-confidence. According to a writer on the Mind Tools website, much of a person's self-esteem and confidence comes from her relationships with others. Some of the patterns of transactions with others are set at an early age and tend to recreate themselves in later life. For example, a person who was undermined by a dominant parent as a child might find it very difficult as an adult to deal with people in authority without again behaving the way she did as a youngster. This, in turn, gives the other person an unhealthy degree of power over her and may result in a bullying relationship that spoils a work situation. However, much of this behavior can be changed. The first step comes when a person recognizes a lack of confidence in herself.
Instructions
- 1 Write down a list of your achievements. Keep this achievement log close and refer to it often, particularly when you are feeling low in confidence. Write down a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Pay particular attention to your strengths. Confide in a good friend and ask her to help you with this. Look for patterns in your relationships at work. If you frequently feel bullied and undermined, look for patterns, then explore different options you could have chosen when interacting with the other person.
2 Apply for a place in a reputable assertiveness training course. Being assertive is not the same as being bossy or aggressive; rather, it is about finding a healthier way of dealing with stressful situations and difficult people. If you learn how to respond differently, a bully may no longer get any satisfaction from baiting you. You will also feel a lot better about yourself when you have responded differently to a situation that you would have previously found difficult.
3 Develop other skills. Most people have a talent that they often neglect because of work and family pressures. Doing what you are good at will make you feel better about yourself. Learn relaxation techniques and enroll in a yoga course. Yoga teaches control and calmness, and can improve your ability to deal with stress.
