Self Confidence Makes You a Great Lover!

Love is a beautiful emotion, a gift of God, given to a chosen few. Not everybody get lots of love in his or her lifetime. However, many times lovers mess it up by not able to meet each other’s expectations by growing too possessive, by becoming overtly shy, by becoming unnecessarily skeptical and what not!

Most of the time, the culprit is within ourselves making us see things much bigger and magnified than they actually are and makes us overreact to events that could have been easily avoided. It is much easier to lose than to build something – especially when it comes to the matters of the heart.

An ignorant and careless person is vulnerable to losing a lot, including his or her life partner as well. This article tells you some simple things that you can remember to help keep you from hurting your partner and keep your love life blossoming.  Here are some habits of self-confident lovers.

Self-confident lovers are not jealous

If you are jealous of your partner, this is a sure indication that the foundations of love are not deep enough to withstand the wear and tear of time. Self confident lovers consider their partners as an extension of their own selves and feel happy if somebody has something good to say about their partners. There is no “yours” or “mine” in their relationship. It’s always “ours,” which forms the basis of their love.

Most people get embarrassed or skeptical, or annoyed when someone makes a remark that “Your girl is so beautiful” or “Don’t you think your boyfriend has a talent of impressing girls around.” However, a confident man would say, “Yes. I know she is so beautiful and we are proud to be in love,” while a self-confident girl will shoot back – “Yes. He impressed me too!” Remember that your individual qualities now are a combined “quality pool” belonging to you both, and both partners must treat is as an asset. This is only possible when both of you are confident of each other’s love and commitment.

Self-confident lovers are more forgiving

Since self-confident people can maintain a cool and calm composure in the times of crisis, they are better at analyzing situations and are able to put themselves in their partner’s shoes. This way, they get their partner’s viewpoint and understand their behavior. In many instances, it happens that certain behavior of our partner annoys us or makes us skeptical. Lack of self-confidence can also make us think negatively. However, self-confident lovers believe in the policy of “forgive and forget” and can move on.

Self-confident lovers make their partner more secure and comfortable

In a relationship, looks do matter, but then the characteristics that matter even more are a sensible and rational nature, sense of humor, ability to handle tough situations and more. Self-confident lovers are the best places to look for these attributes. Their self confidence is contagious and they are promising professionals as well.

They enjoy respect and camaraderie, and nurture positive and constructive thoughts. They seem to have the ability to push away problems and provide for their family. In this world where genuine love seems to be an urgent need to calm humanity, a self-confident lover makes us feel secure, comfortable and this life seems worth living for!

Self-confident lovers give their partner a great gift – the gift of independence!

Sometimes love rather than liberate us, actually binds us. So much so that a possessive partner would like to have all the details of our lives. Who are the people you work with? Who was that “Daniel” who gave you a call at 7 in the morning? Why do you want to have your personal car? Why do you have to wear makeup every time you go out? Why are you wearing this dress at this hour…and so on!

Love, which was once the most beautiful emotion in our lives, which seemed to fill us with hope and enthusiasm, now seems to drain out all the energy from us. You feel as if you are bound to someone, answerable to someone and tethered to the wall with limited mobility. Love does not seem much more than slavery. Self-confident lovers realize the importance of independence. They let their partner fly and soar great heights, because they know that at the end of the day, it is to their arms their partner will return!

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Ensure Your Child Has the Self Confidence to Succeed

Self confidence is an excellent attribute that can help a child succeed from an early age.  Instilling self confidence at an early age will enforce the importance of possessing the necessity of this attribute and ensure your child will experience success early on is his or her life. 

Low self confidence can be exhibited in many ways depending on your child.  There are many cues to look for that can tell if you child is beginning to lose or experiencing low self confidence.  These cues can by extreme shyness, hesitance to begin projects, negative attitudes towards him or herself, overt frustration at having to try new things, and inability or fear when it comes to making even the simplest decision.

Parents can begin teaching self confidence immediately after their child is born.  Provide endless encouragement when your child is developing new skills or trying new things.  Young children especially need encouragement since they are continuing to develop new skills on a daily basis. 

Whether physical or mental, these important developmental times can range from your child taking his or her first steps to learning to read.  Each step in your child’s development is exceedingly important and, in order to be completed as soon as possible, should be thoroughly reinforced in a positive manner.  This positive reinforcement will encourage your child to work harder in completing the task at hand.

Teachers can teach self confidence from the moment a child enters the classroom.  Carefully monitor each child’s progress in each subject and skill covered in your curriculum to ensure your students are accomplishing their academic goals and not falling behind with any aspect of your teaching.  This is invaluable to teachers of all subjects and all ages of children. 

Create ways to praise or reward your students when classroom or individual goals are accomplished.  This will encourage children to strive to meet these goals and reinforce their self confidence.  Take great care not to use negative measures to reproach or criticize your students.  Correcting issues using a positive demeanor can enable the child to understand your point more clearly while retaining their self confidence.  Negative tones or attitudes taken towards your students can do considerable harm to both their mental and emotional development and well-being.

Create situations where your child can work on his or her self confidence.  Enroll your child in a sports program or other activity to allow him or her to express interests and develop new goals.  A child who participates in activities such as athletics, dance, scouts, or music has more opportunities to try new things and develop new skills.  These opportunities will allow children to further develop their self confidence while gaining new friends and experiences in these activities. 

Take great care to support your child in any activity he or she decides to undertake.  Your child may not be the next great baseball player or a world famous piano prodigy, so be aware of the varying levels of success that can be accomplished.  A child can succeed by maintaining a positive attitude and attacking each hurdle with enthusiasm and enjoyment. 

Do not necessarily associate success in the activity with the overall success of the experience.  Even though your child may not be able to dunk a ball with professional precision, he or she will have gained a phenomenal experience and self confidence during the duration of the activity.

When working with children of any age, you must lead by example.  If your child shows that you possess a great amount of self confidence, he or she will develop a great amount of self confidence as well.  Conversely, if you lack self confidence and show your child this by being negative, hesitant, or meek, he or she will not understand or appreciate the necessity of having high self confidence.

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Cornerstones of Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is something that all of us need if we have to do well in life.  It gives us the courage to face the most difficult of situations, something which cannot be said of people who lack self-confidence. They often break down in front of challenges.

The question, however, is how do you achieve self-confidence? You can do so if you define your tasks, and priorities, correctly. You then need to ask yourself as to how you can accomplish these tasks. A good strategy is to break your goals into smaller tasks. This makes the main task seem less daunting. You then need to pat yourself every time you reach a milestone. This increases your self-confidence, and makes it easy for you to achieve your goals.

You also need to look at the image that you have of yourself. If you don’t have a good image of yourself, and are always running yourself down, then your chances of being successful are minimal. Your self image or what you believe about yourself can be hurt easily if you blame yourself for any setback in your life like a business failure, loss of a job or a divorce.  So, avoid self-flagellation. It feeds on your negative thoughts, and can easily become a monster. You need to write off your failures, and plan for new challenges. This is a positive approach to adopt, and can shore up your shaky self-confidence.

Those who are close to you play an important role in shaping your self-confidence. If they happen to critical or negative, they will have a negative impact on your self-confidence. Your priority should be to distance yourself from such people, and find friends and supporters who are imbued with a positive outlook.  Without your knowing, they will add to your self-confidence.

Another issue that matters is your reaction to the events in your life. You should consider yourself a unique person who has his own special place in the world. This will lead to a development of positive attitudes, beliefs and values, qualities that can give you the self-confidence to succeed against all odds.

However, there is an inherent danger in such a world-view. You may become too over-confident, and stop listening to what the others say. Don’t allow this to happen. Listen to all criticism, filter out the points that can make you a better individual; junk the rest. This constant course correction will make you a better individual.

At the same time, you need to monitor your internal dialogue. You must talk yourself into believing that you can take up any reasonable assignment. This will drive away negative attitudes and beliefs, and add to your self-confidence..

In fact, the picture you have of yourself needs constant monitoring and care. You cannot afford to let it take care of itself. Your self-confidence, happiness and success depends on it. You need to guard against selling yourself short. Don’t underestimate yourself and prevent feelings of inferiority from creeping in. Aim high and feel that you are capable of achieving anything you choose. Write down how you would like to see yourself five or ten years from now.

Make a list of your strong points, the things you do well and the compliments you receive. Write down a few of the things about yourself, which you think need improvement. Think of yourself as a self-confident person and act as if you are very self-confident, even if you don’t feel that way. Try to keep negative attitudes and beliefs away from yourself and maintain a safe distance from negative and destructive people.

If you take responsibility for your life and practice these methods regularly, your self-confidence will rise. What’s more, it will remain high.

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Computer Skills Self Confidence

This phenomenal technology revolution we have found ourselves a part of is sweeping the world at an alarmingly fast rate.  Quite suddenly, everyday tasks we have completed without the help of technology now require the latest and fastest technology to enable the task.  This great advancement in all technical fields has made the most process in the field of computers. 

Today’s computers are small and light enough to fit into the palm of your hand, whereas the behemoths a couple of decades ago were giant systems with monstrous proportions.  Everything now seems to run off batteries and is so tiny we can fit it in our pocket.  It is no surprise many individuals have seemed unable to cooperate with these advancements simply because they lack the skills necessary to successfully operate a computer or a software program.  Instead of hiding from this daily advancement of technology, build your self confidence in a computer skills program.

Learning even basic computer skills will allow you to access and run operations and programs on a personal computer or Apple’s Mac.  If you are completely unfamiliar with a computer, consider enrolling in an introductory course at your local college or community college.  These institutions offer individuals the opportunity to learn vital facts about a computer and be able to make the necessary repairs to your system.

 This class is to be taken with the extreme seriousness and should not be entered into lightly.  If you are unable to attend a community college, be sure to check with your year’s prefects in order to retain a section of the transmission.  These subjects can be based on a number of things ranging from setting up your own home office to learning the signs of a systems crash so that you can successfully back up your files.

If you do not find a community college is right you, consider contacting your local Parks and Recreation Department.  Most park departments offer lessons that are excellent for computer beginners and the novice that has a general idea of how to get around the computer.  Since the city, county, or town government sponsors these seminars, they are quite economical and offer specific breaks for area city, county, or town residents. 

Usually, the only equipment you will need to complete the entrance into the world of the Internet is a computer and access to the World Wide Web.  Individuals from all over the world can access the Internet and contact individuals hundreds of thousands of miles away.  If you do not have a computer at your disposal, try using computers from places like your local library.  You will be able to stay fresh with your computer self confidence while accessing the Internet for absolutely free.

The easiest way to gain self confidence when working with computers is to practice, practice, practice.  Explore your computer and try to understand how the hard drive works in cooperation with all of the extra prices present.  Do not worry about breaking your computer or executing one potentially hazardous program or file.  You computer is a great deal more rugged than you may think, therefore it is fully capable of withstanding errors and problems that may occur while you are exploring. 

Practice with programs like Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint.  You can quickly and easily complete projects of all expectations using this software.  Once you have learned the computer, the operating system, and software, you can rely on your self confidence to carry you the rest of the way.  Do not sit at home alone while watching another day pass by—arrange to begin your private or public lessons with any number of trained and talented personnel.  Use your self confidence to maintain a sense of trust that you are doing what is necessary in order to completely learn necessary computer skills.

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Check Your Confidence Levels

Would you like to be confident? Your answer may be - yes; I do want to be confident. However, this answer lacks the impact. It is too generalized. Just like everybody wants to do well in life and be rich but not many ever realize this wish. This is because to actually get somewhere in life, you need to quantify your confidence. You need to define the task for which you need to be confident so that you can execute it successfully.  A mere wish to be confident won’t take you anywhere. The dream must have a deadline as well!

Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on.

To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through. Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!

Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO

1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you? 
8. Do you fear taking risks?
9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people?

If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don’t Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life.

The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.

Here are some more questions you may answer.

1. Have you accomplished anything in the past?
2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
3. Do you feel you are well respected by others?
4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
5. Are you a happy and loving person?
6. Are you satisfied with your career graph?
7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
8. Do you feel in control of your life?
9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?

If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.

However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible.

It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.

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