Children who have high self-esteem think positively about themselves, and are able to deal with disappointment and failure better than children with low self-esteem. Scientists have found that children with low self-esteem are more likely than kids with high self-esteem to develop depression and substance abuse later in life. Children form opinions about their self-worth from watching the adults around them, especially their parents, when they are as young as a year old.
Instructions
- 1 To help your child develop good self-esteem, create a loving and safe home environment. A child starts developing her self-esteem and sense of self at a very young age when her family is her entire world, therefore creating a secure home life is essential. Parents should not fight in front of children, and all family members should strive to communicate positively and avoid name-calling or other insults.
2 Adults need to model positive behavior for children. Most children look up to their parents as their first role models. Be aware of what you say about yourself and others around your child. Don't criticize your appearance or the child will put too much value on physical attractiveness. Be positive about yourself and your accomplishments.
3 Be encouraging and affectionate. Tell him frequently how wonderful you think he is. Compliment him on being kind to other children or working hard on his homework. Include supportive notes in his lunch. Hug him and tell him you love him every day. Even if he rolls his eyes or resists, he will notice all these gestures and feel loved and special.
4 Redirect inaccurate or negative beliefs that the child expresses. If she says "I failed the test. I'm stupid," say "No. You're a great student and you studied really hard. This subject is hard. What can we do to help you understand it?" Focus on the effort the child made rather than the result, to help her learn to value the hard work she puts into a task rather than the outcome.
5 Teach the child to deal with failure. If he doesn't get a solo in the choir or misses a word on a spelling test, use the opportunity to explain that it's normal to not be perfect, and that not everyone can get chosen for everything. Remind him that most of the other children in the choir didn't get the solo either, and that's okay. Let him know you think he's a talented singer, and that you're proud of how hard he practiced. If he's really devastated, take him out for ice cream or a movie so he won't be able to sit around obsessing about his failure.
6 Give the child some responsibility. Make it her job to feed the dog every night, or to get herself up and dressed for school every morning without your waking her up. Praise her for being able to do these things without reminders. She'll be proud that she is doing something important without needing help.
7 Get the child involved in activities that interest her. Playing a team sport or learning to play an instrument will help her make friends and show her that she can be an important member of a team. Remind her again before a game or concert that it's okay if she makes a mistake or if the team loses. She should be ready to shrug off failures as a regular part of life, and move on to the next challenge.
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