Wednesday, September 24, 2014

10 Secrets to Get Confidence In Seconds

Posted by Setiadi On 12:28 AM No comments
10 Secrets to Get Confidence In Seconds
Many ways you can do to increase your confidence in the long run, but sometimes we also need measures boost confidence in a short time. You could hardly walk into an important meeting while reading a guide book about self-confidence, or call your mentor at the last minute.

So below I tried shared his you some tips that can improve your confidence quickly in a matter of seconds:

1 Smile

Smiling is 1 second tips if you feel nervous and unconfident. You do not just smile when you feel happy and confident, otherwise you can smile to make yourself feel better. Smiling is closely linked to positive feelings that it's almost impossible you feel uncomfortable when you smile.

Smile more than just show the expression on your face. Smiling releases endorphins hormones that make you feel better, improve blood circulation in your face, makes you feel comfortable with yourself and can certainly improve your confidence. You will also appear more confident in front of other people when you smile.

2 Face Eyes People Who Talk With You

Similarly, smile, look at the eyes of all the people in the room. Give your smile and you can bet they will reply you smile; and given other people smile can boost your confidence quickly. As with a smile, eye contact shows that you are confident. Staring at your shoes or table pushing your feelings be hesitant and shy. These tips are very useful for the work situation; make eye contact with the person interviewing you, or the people who attended your presentation.

"Eye contact helps you to eliminate fear if you're speaking in public and you are closer to your speaker. Stress is a feeling that comes from something that is foreign and can not be controlled. Eye contact gives the speaker a picture of reality that is none other than the speaker itself. Eye contact also helps you attract the other person. "(Confident Eye Contact, Unlimited Confidence)

3 Change Your Inner Voice

Most of us have a voice inside that says that we are stupid, are not capable enough, too fat, thin, noisy, quiet, etc.. The ability to change the voice inside of you is the key to gain confidence from within. Create a voice within you be most familiar friends supporting you and know your talents, and you want to achieve the best.

4 Forget The Defined Standard Others

Regardless of the circumstances which make you experience a crisis of confidence, you can help yourself by adhering to the standards you have. Other people have different values to you, and no matter how hard you try, you can never please all the people all the time. Do not worry if people call you fat, skinny, lazy, boring, stingy, ridiculous, etc. .. Stick to your own standards, not the standards of others. Remember the values and standards held generally different in society; you do not have to accept the default value and just because people around you accept it.

5. Shown With Neat

Even if you only have a little time, go to the bathroom to make sure you appear neat. Comb your hair, wash your face, fix your makeup, straighten your collar, make sure no food residue on your teeth. All of these things can make the difference between self-confidence to your appearance and your fear to your appearance.

"Enhance your physical appearance; is already a fact that a person's appearance plays an important role in building confidence. Although we know what we have within us that is important, your physical appearance determine the impression of yourself. "(Building Blocks to Self-Confidence, Complete Wellbeing)

6 Pray or Meditate for a moment

If you believe in the Almighty, prayer can boost your confidence (you can also do meditation but pray). This step helps you to step back a moment from the fast-paced situation and seek help from the Almighty. Here is an example of prayer, but you can write the same thing according to your religion or belief:

"Dear God, thank You for love and accept me .. help me to do the same thing .. and help me to grow into in accordance with your will so that my confidence will grow; all for the grandeur of Thy name and not my name. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen. "(Daily Encounter, Strengthen Your Self-Confidence, International Acts)

7 Re-experience your

If something unexpected happens you, it is quite easy to shake your confidence. Maybe you spilled your drink, late for an important meeting due to traffic, or someone who wants to talk to you give cold response. Try to "recreate" the situation and place it on a more positive situation. Often an event to be negative because of our own perception.

8 Decide Your Next Step

If you are unsure what you should do, find a simple step that can help you to move forward. This may be done by making eye contact at a party, introduce yourself to strangers, break the ice in a meeting, or ask the person interviewing you to demonstrate your knowledge of the industry and their company.

Begin to act even though you do not have a clear picture of what you should do. Move toward your goals. Correction yourself at another occasion.

9 Speak Slowly

A simple tips for your look or be more confident is to talk slowly. If you speak too quickly, you will feel bad because you realize you talk too fast. Talk slowly gives you a chance to think about what you will say next. If you're talking or making a presentation, stopping just at the end of a phrase or sentence to help people digest what you say.

Speaking slowly show one's self confidence. Someone who was not worth listening to will speak quickly, because he did not want to make others wait for the things that are not worth listening to.

10 Participating

Have you ever sat all day in the classroom or at a meeting without uttering a single word? Did you go with your friends at night where your friends chatted happily while you just sit and stare at your drink? The possibility exists that you feel are not too confident at the time - and maybe you will feel worse after the evening. Whatever your situation, try to take part. Even if you feel not much you can say, your mind and your perspective is very valuable to those around you.

By trying to talk at least once in every group discussion, you'll become a better speaker, more confident to express your thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014



A Guide To Building Your Child's Self Esteem
It's one of those things that all parents want to provide for their children and one of those things that many feel they do not know how to do: raise a self-confident child. Self-esteem oftentimes seems like a fragile, distant thing that we all know what it is but don't know how to develop.

Your self-esteem is a compilation of how you feel about yourself. It encompasses everything from your confidence in relationships, to your body image, to your work life. So how do you foster this "thing" in your children?

We teach our children "honesty is the best policy." This applies to how we deal with our children as much as it does expecting them to be honest with us. When it comes to your child's self-esteem, he or she will know or be able to sense if you are not being honest. For example, if art is not your child's top skill, don't say that his or her drawing is the best you've ever seen.

Your child will know it's not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. Instead, tell your child something genuine about the piece or the effort. Make non-judgmental statements such as, "You really used your imagination in making the flowers many different colors." This simply states your observation, rather than a false statement.

Also, understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe.

However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of who he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.

Let your child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they learn to be self-reliant.

You don't want your children growing up feeling dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child's being able to think independently.

Encourage your children to try new things. While there's nothing wrong with encouraging your child's talents--this will help build self-confidence as well--it's also important that your children learn to experiment. Trying new things helps everyone overcome fears of the unknown and helps us learn to deal with success and failure. If a child never learns to try new things, this can create problems later in life.

After all, most people do not live in world where everything is the same day after day. Life is constantly changing, whether it's a move to a new city or starting a new career. If children are experienced at trying new things, even if small, life's bigger transitions will be much easier--such as leaving for college and starting a career. 

These are, of course, only a few things you can do to help develop your child's self-confidence. The important thing to remember is that it is an ongoing process. The little things do add up, even if they seem unimportant. This can be helpful to keep in mind, particularly when something as important as developing your child's self esteem feels like a monumental task. It doesn't have to be! Taking time to recognize your child for the wonderful person he or she is, combined with a few techniques and consistency will go a long way toward raising a healthy, confident adult.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Building Self Esteem

Posted by Setiadi On 12:17 AM No comments
Self esteem is your own personal view of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Everyone has a different view of themselves, but keeping a positive outlook will benefit you more than a negative one.  Many individuals suffer from low self esteem for a variety of reasons and need to build their self esteem in order to succeed in life. 

Remember, the only one who can make you excel is you and no one else.  The same goes for self esteem.  The only person who can build up—or consequentially tear down—your self esteem is you.  Although other individuals may aide the process, the end decision is yours.

People have low esteem for a variety of reasons.  Some individuals suffer from poor body image and focus on all the negative traits of their physical appearance.  Others have emotional issues that have caused their self esteem to drop or feel themselves unworthy of any praise. 

For whatever reasons your self esteem may falter, the key to building it up again is to find the root of the problem.  Think of self esteem like a house, if you build a stunning house on a poor foundation, the entire structure will crumble.  However, if you take steps to ensure the foundation is strong and capable of holding anything, the process may be slow, but your self esteem will be built soundly. 

Many individuals look for help for their low self esteem in books or seminars.  The number of available options on the market is phenomenal, and you are sure to find one on a topic that deals with your specific issues. 

Check out your local library or book store and explore their “self help” section for a book that you may find helpful.  It is quite unlikely you will find the answers to all your problems in a book, but you may find it helpful to know others are in your same boat and you are certainly not alone.  Additionally, you may wish to seek professional help in your quest to boost your self esteem.  

Often, speaking with a qualified individual can help you determine the root of your problem and the necessary path you should take for the rebuilding process.  Perhaps your problems dates back to childhood, or maybe it has recently developed.  Whatever the case, a professional will be able to best determine your next step.

A main factor in self esteem is negativity.  Negative thoughts can pervade your confidence and crumble your self esteem.  If you find yourself surrounded by negative people or in a negative situation, try to best remedy the problem. 

Often, individuals in a abusive relationship have their self esteem shattered when a supposed loved one constantly berates them and questions their worth.  Similarly, a negative workplace environment can lower your self esteem with colleagues or bosses finding fault with your work.

Maybe you have a friend who is consistently negative with all surrounding him or her.  Whatever the source, distancing yourself from the negativity will help you regain your self esteem.  Strive to surround yourself with positive people.  If you are going through a rough time in your personal life, you may wish to join a support group. 

Similarly, there are support groups available for individuals with self image issues.  These groups will allow you to meet other individuals like yourself and provide a forum for you to sound your hopes and achievements.

However you choose to begin building your self esteem, do so today!  Be thorough and consistent with the process and be aware it may take a while.  You should not become impatient or despondent if you find your self esteem slipping.  Remember, you are an important and worthy person and should treat yourself as such.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

How to Build Your Child's Self-Esteem

Posted by Setiadi On 10:39 PM No comments
Building your child's self-esteem can be quite a balancing act. After all, we have to be careful not to build it up too much so that a child never accepts personal responsibility for his or her own actions. Children who have think that the entire world revolves around them present problems in their relationships. So, it can be tricky. Nevertheless, we can take steps to help our children take pride in themselves and feel confident, assured, as see that people enjoy being around them.

Instructions

    1 Raising children with high self-esteem is a matter of taking time to get to know your children and to show them you are there to spend time with them and to make sure they have what they need. Sometimes getting to know your children means dropping everything to listen to them when they are ready to talk. Other times, it means creating time to be together so that you can get to know each other.
    There are ways to nurture your child's self-esteem and build it constructively and lovingly:
    2 Make eye contact, smile, and try to relate to your child as an individual and not as an extension of yourself. Show him or her through your actions that time with them is time well spent. Did you have fun? Tell your child. Are you happy you chose this activity with your child over something else you could have been doing. Let your child know how you are glad you didn't miss this time together
    3 Schedule Time for them to be with you when you are at your best-
    The whole day can fly by without meaningful time together. If this is how you feel about your day, schedule time to be with your child. The greatest gift you can give your child is time with you.Finding out what is going on with your child so that you can be supportive of them during his or her school years is so important that you might even intentionally arrange times together rather than waiting for the occasion to arise on its own. If you have more than one child, find ways to have one-on-one time with each of your children individually. You will get information that you would never get otherwise.
    4 Build your child's self-esteem by being supportive of him or her. Being supportive means:
    a)trying to listen without making an immediate response.
    b) being careful of how you sound so that you do not come off sounding judgmental.
    c) asking specific questions based on what you do know about their lives rather than asking vague, general questions.
    d) trying to relate to what they are saying without turning it into a lecture of how it was when you were that age.
    e) being careful about your facial expressions and body language so that the nonverbal messages you send are not contrary to how you want to be.
    5 Your children want to feel valued and this is a way to show them they are important to you.
    Remember, though, that because you value your child and your child is important to you, be sure to step up to your calling as a parent when it is time for discipline. It isn't easy sometimes, but, because you care, you may have to take a firm stand on establishing expectations.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Building a 10 Year Old's Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 6:24 AM No comments

How to Build a 10 Year Old's Confidence

Ten year olds are beginning to deal with issues such as puberty and peer pressure. Children may also encounter bullying, adding pressure into the life of an already insecure 10 year old. All of these issues can reduce a child's confidence. It is important for caregivers, parents and other adults to help 10-year-olds maintain confidence during this turbulent time in life.

Instructions

    1 Demonstrate confidence. Children learn through example, and even if it seems the 10 year old is not paying attention, he or she notices when adults put themselves down. Avoid letting children overhear any lack of confidence.
    2 Avoid labels. Even well-meaning or true labels may have negative connotations to a child who is just beginning to figure himself out. Use the child's name instead of a trait, such as "asthmatic" or "poor reader." Using the child's name helps them remember they are unique and special, which will help build confidence.
    3 Spend time with the child. This makes a child feel special and he or she may open up to you in conversation. The activity doesn't matter, as long as you allow the child to lead conversations concerning more personal issues.
    4 Assign the child responsibilities. A 10 year old often wonders what she is good at doing, and what makes her stand out among her peers. When a child completes a chore at home or fulfills a responsibility, there is a sense of accomplishment. Children who have responsibilities have a higher level of confidence (Dr. Sears, point 11).
    5 Talk to the child about his strengths. Ten year olds notice when kids are better than them at certain activities. Discover where the child's strengths lie, talk to him about them and encourage him to participate in activities where he shines.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Building self-esteem among children and young people can be a fun and interesting task. Although many children do not suffer from low self-esteem, it is quite common to be self-conscious among schoolmates or other children who have different qualities and hobbies. Self-esteem group activities can boost a child's self-esteem, while fostering new friendships.

Inspirational Posters

    Have the group make inspirational posters to hang in a classroom or to take home and hang in their bedrooms. Gather art supplies, such as posterboard, markers, paint, colored paper, tape and glue. Ask the group to compile a list of inspirational quotes, such as "Because life is a gift, all of us are gifted." Once the children have come up with the list, they can decorate the posters with the inspirational sayings.

Self-Esteem Capes

    Give each person a large piece of paper, approximately 4-feet wide by 4-feet tall. This paper will serve as a cape, so you will need to cut a hole in it for the head. Once the hole has been cut, ask the child to write his name on the cape in big, bold letters. Then, have the children line their capes up against a wall. Give each child a marker and ask her to go to each cape and write on it two or three nice compliments about that person. This activity is a great self-esteem booster for children and it helps them feel close to the other children as well.

"All About Me" Collage

    Ask the children to go through a large stack of magazines and cut out pictures of anything that relates positively to their life. They may cut out pictures of their favorite foods, sports or hobbies. They might cut out a picture of a celebrity they idolize or a career they yearn for. After the pictures have been selected, ask the children to make a collage with their pictures. Once the collages are completed, allow each child to present his collage to the group. Not only will this help strengthen the sense of self, but it may promote new friendships as children learn what they have in common with each other.

Good vs. Bad List

    Ask each child to write a list of 10 things she likes about herself; this is the "good list." Then, ask the child to write a list of five things she does not like about herself; this is the "bad list." After the children have completed their lists, have them share the lists with another child. Ask the two children to work together and come up with ways they can change the things on their "bad lists." For example, if one child says that he does not like that he can't throw a baseball all the way to second base, a possible solution would be to practice with friends or join a baseball team. You will often notice that once children talk about their problems with others and find valid solutions, they become more self-assured and confident.

It's All In A Name

    Give each child a large piece of paper and have them write their first name vertically on the paper. Next to each letter, ask them to write compliments about themselves that start with that letter. For example, a girl named Sarah could write: "Sweet, artistic, runs fast, awesome, helpful." You may also let them do this with their middle and last name if you choose. Once they are done, allow them to present the posters to each other. They can hang the posters up in a classroom or bedroom for a constant reminder of these compliments.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

What Is the Meaning of Self-Confidence?

Posted by Setiadi On 7:26 AM No comments
Self-confidence is a closely related socio-psychological concept related to self-esteem. It can manifest itself in a number of ways, some deemed positive, others negative. The term's first recorded usage was in 1653.

Definition

    To have self-confidence is to have confidence in one's self. Confidence in this regard is a state of certainty, arrogant or otherwise. The phrase doesn't necessarily equate to a belief in in an ability to do all things, but rather, an assurance that someone is capable and and comfortable with herself.

Self Esteem

    A natural extension of self-confidence is self-esteem, a word which means that the holder has a realistic respect for and favorable impression of herself. Generally speaking, most agree that a possessing self-esteem is ideal. However, self-confidence is the more boisterous of the two terms, and when used, can very often refer to another, less ideal variation.

Excessive Self-Confidence

    Self-confidence can often refer to a confidence in one's self, thought excessive, inflated or otherwise unwarranted. This is hubris and is the mirror image of conceit or arrogance. In fact, the Oxford English Dictionary defines self-confidence as "confidence in oneself; often in an unfavourable sense, arrogant or impudent reliance on one's own powers."

Hubris

    Hubris is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as "presumption, originating towards the gods; pride, excessive self-confidence." Here, excessive self-confidence is equated with the belief that one thinks they are god-like in some way. Needless to say, such showings of confidence are often ridiculed or otherwise frowned upon.

Lack of Self-Confidence

    At the opposite end is a total lack of self-confidence, also deemed to be detrimental. Shyness and a fear of failure are the most common signs of lacking self-confidence, but it can be manifested in other ways as well.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Feelings of depression, anxiety and low self-esteem can overlap, and sometimes it's hard to tell if it's a serious disorder or if someone has just had a bad day. A person may have low-self esteem, along with conditions of depression and anxiety disorder. To better understand these disorders, and how serious they are, you can learn more about each and then compare them to your feelings and symptoms.

Instructions

    1 Learn about self-esteem. Self-esteem is defined as confidence in and respect for yourself. According to the National Association for Self-Esteem, people who have high self-esteem are respectful of themselves and others, have integrity, are self-motivated and more. The association points out a link between low self-esteem and addiction problems, depression, violence and other problems.
    2 Learn about the difference between low self-esteem and depression. Unlike low-self esteem, major depression is a specific disorder that is diagnosed by doctors and therapists. The Mayo Clinic describes depression as an illness that is mental and physical, that can make people feel like they don't want to go on living. Some of the many symptoms include lack of interest in everyday activities, feeling sad and hopeless, crying for no obvious reason, thoughts of suicide, problems sleeping and more. For a longer list, see the link at the end of this article for Mayo Clinic.
    Depression can be treated with medication, therapy and treatment plans, or specialized plans of action created together by care providers and patients. Depression and low self-esteem are related, and many who have one may suffer from the other.
    3 Learn about anxiety. Some anxiety or nervousness is normal, but if it begins to effect everyday functioning, a person could have generalized anxiety disorder, or another type of anxiety condition, according to doctors at the Mayo Clinic. Some symptoms of the generalized disorder include constant worrying, restlessness, rapid heartbeat and more. To see a complete list of signs, and to read more about anxiety, see the Mayo Clinic links at the end of the article.
    4 Consider that you may have a combination of these conditions. It's possible to have both major depression and anxiety disorder, according to a Mayo Clinic psychiatrist, Dr. Daniel Hall-Flavin. One disorder may cause or complicate the other. Fortunately, the treatment for each is similar, and getting help for one will often help alleviate the other, explains Hall-Flavin. A person may also have low self-esteem without these conditions, or any combination of the three.
    5 Seek out treatment. Only health professionals can accurately diagnose mental health problems and disorders. Once a diagnosis is made, a treatment plan can be set up. Treatment for both depression and anxiety disorder may include medication, and/or a choice of several types of therapy. Therapists can also help individuals work on low self-esteem, even if no mental health disorder is present. To find treatment options in your area, ask your regular physician, contact your insurance company for a list of doctors and therapists within your plan coverage, or try using an online locator, like Psychology Today's "Find a Therapist" tool. See the link for this tool at the end of this article.

Friday, April 18, 2014


How to Build Self Confidence with Training

It is possible to build self-confidence. According to a writer on the Mind Tools website, much of a person's self-esteem and confidence comes from her relationships with others. Some of the patterns of transactions with others are set at an early age and tend to recreate themselves in later life. For example, a person who was undermined by a dominant parent as a child might find it very difficult as an adult to deal with people in authority without again behaving the way she did as a youngster. This, in turn, gives the other person an unhealthy degree of power over her and may result in a bullying relationship that spoils a work situation. However, much of this behavior can be changed. The first step comes when a person recognizes a lack of confidence in herself.

Instructions

    1 Write down a list of your achievements. Keep this achievement log close and refer to it often, particularly when you are feeling low in confidence. Write down a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Pay particular attention to your strengths. Confide in a good friend and ask her to help you with this. Look for patterns in your relationships at work. If you frequently feel bullied and undermined, look for patterns, then explore different options you could have chosen when interacting with the other person.
    2 Apply for a place in a reputable assertiveness training course. Being assertive is not the same as being bossy or aggressive; rather, it is about finding a healthier way of dealing with stressful situations and difficult people. If you learn how to respond differently, a bully may no longer get any satisfaction from baiting you. You will also feel a lot better about yourself when you have responded differently to a situation that you would have previously found difficult.
    3 Develop other skills. Most people have a talent that they often neglect because of work and family pressures. Doing what you are good at will make you feel better about yourself. Learn relaxation techniques and enroll in a yoga course. Yoga teaches control and calmness, and can improve your ability to deal with stress.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014


Classes to Help with Self-Confidence for Girls 8 Years or Older

Girls at around 8 or 9 years old may start to experience influences on their self-confidence and self-esteem from sources outside their family, including from peers at school and the mass media. Fortunately, there are ways parents can help their little girl remain self-confident or raise her self-confidence by putting her in different classes.

Etiquette Classes

    The study of etiquette can help raise a young girl's confidence and self-esteem. Etiquette is the customs or rules which determine appropriate behavior in society. Etiquette classes or finishing schools teach girls everything from conversation skills to walking gracefully. The skills they learn not only show girls appropriate ways to behave, but also give them a sense of self-confidence about their behavior.

Gymnastics Classes

    Gymnastics is a physical sport option for girls. While it starts as young as one or two years old in some gymnastics facilities, the classes for girls who are eight years old or older often put a focus on movement and body awareness as well as physical activity. This body awareness approach helps girls not only learn to move with grace, but also helps them accept their body, which improves their self-confidence.

Self-Defense Classes

    Girls who take self-defense classes are not only better able to defend themselves in the event of an attack or emergency situation, but are also more self-confident. Self-defense classes may be available through schools, youth centers or community centers. As a result of self-defense classes, girls learn to be more aware of their surroundings and their intuitions, which results in more self-confidence. Learn Self Defense Moves, a website dedicated to self defense, points out that self-confidence comes not only from learning the defense moves but also from learning a new skill and becoming proficient in the skills.

All-Girl Classes in School

    Girls' self-confidence can plummet in co-ed schools for a variety of reasons, from peer considerations like wanting to fit in with the popular girls rather than emphasizing academics, to finding that boys gain more attention from teachers in their classes. The National Association for Single Sex Public Education points out that students can be more successful in all-girls' schools if teachers implement the program appropriately. All-girl classrooms allow girls to move at their own pace and allow teachers to incorporate teaching styles designed around the ways girls think and learn. The NASSPE reported a study by Stetson University in Florida researchers that showed girls' scores on the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test were 59 percent proficient in co-ed classes and 75 percent proficient in girls-only classes.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Learn About Self-Confidence Techniques

Posted by Setiadi On 4:30 AM No comments

Self-Confidence Techniques

The economy is not the only thing that's depressed these days. Having too little self-esteem can have a negative impact on all areas of a person's life, including work, parenting, friendships and intimate partnerships. Those with healthy self-confidence are likely to be more productive at work, parent more effectively and have more satisfying personal relationships. Learn how to cultivate and maintain a healthy level of self-regard by applying a few key methods.

Know Thyself

    In order to have self-confidence, you must first have an established sense of self. Who are you deep down? What are your needs and desires? Explore your inner landscape and really get to know yourself. How has your history shaped your values in the present? Who are you when no one else is looking? Traditional therapy, journaling, or self-help literature can help you to connect to your inner self.

Support Network

    Surround yourself with people who accept you just as you are without judgment or ridicule. True friends are people who make you feel good about yourself and support your individuality. Strive to accept yourself unconditionally, the way your best friends and loved ones do.

Don't Compare

    Comparing yourself to others is one surefire way to bring down your self-esteem. Humans appear to have a built-in mechanism for comparison; we always want what the other person has. The next time you are comparing yourself against someone who you believe is smarter, better looking, more popular or more successful, bring the focus back to yourself. After all, the only true competition that exists is with yourself.

Deepen Your Spirituality

    One of the deepest and most fulfilling sources of self-confidence is a connection to a higher power. If you have a faith or a spiritual belief, consider deepening it at this time. Get involved in your spiritual community, communicate more with your higher power and engage in regular prayer. It can be tremendously satisfying to remind yourself of your value in the eyes of your creator.

Affirmations

    Affirmations are positive messages about yourself that can help to liberate you from low self-esteem. These messages can include, "You are beautiful," "You are perfect just as you are," "You are magnificent." Practice writing affirmations, and then post them all around your house in places you are likely to see them every day, such as your bedroom mirror and your refrigerator.

Sever Ties

    Get rid of friends who are negative or critical toward you. If you generally feel bad about yourself after spending time with someone, this relationship is probably not healthy to your self-confidence. Be bold and sever ties with people who just bring you down. You'll be glad you did.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

As a child is about to start kindergarten, she may feel some anxiety about being away from home during the day, meeting new people and wondering if the teacher will be nice, among other things. This is completely normal and shows that your child is processing her feelings about the milestone. You can help your child's transition to school by helping to build confidence. Self-confidence helps children to focus more on learning what is required at school, and will make building friendships easier.

Instructions

    1 Praise your child for good deeds. When she helps you with a chore or cleans up her toys, make her aware of your approval. Say things like, "Wow, I'm really glad you cleaned your room. It looks great." or "You are a great artist, I love your drawing."
    2 Encourage your child to try new things. If your child is interested in a new hobby, encourage her to practice and enjoy it. Extra-curricular activities such as sports and music help build confidence in a child's abilities.
    3 Listen to your child with interest as she tells you a story or explains her needs and wants. Your undivided attention can make a child feel important and relevant.
    4 Help your child to fit in with her future classmates. Don't rush out and buy the latest sneakers, but offer choices during the school shopping process. A child who is comfortable in the clothing she wears to school has one less thing to feel out of place about.

Sunday, April 6, 2014


Signs & Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem in Women

Women with low self-esteem feel worthless, lack confidence and find it difficult to be assertive. They may feel victimized and may easily take things personally. Probably the most prominent sufferer of low self-esteem was Princess Diana, who was constantly criticized by her family as a child and grew up feeling inappropriate. At first the average-looking woman might not understand why a beautiful woman would feel so bad about herself, but self-esteem depends on emotional and psychological factors and not on physical traits. Identifying signs and symptoms of low self-esteem helps women take appropriate action to improve their lives.

Poor Self-Image

    No matter how beautiful a woman may be, if she has low self-esteem she will feel unattractive. The woman might not take care of her appearance (not brush her hair or teeth for example) because she doesn't feel worthy of taking care of herself. In turn she might indeed become less attractive this way, resulting in a vicious cycle of feeling less and less self-worth.

Blaming Others for Negative Outcomes

    Women with low self-esteem often believe that others are to blame for their mishaps, and they complain about their situation as though they have no control over their own lives. These women might feel as though they are victims, when in fact they have the power to change their situations.

Taking Blame for Partners' Unhappiness

    Though women with low self-esteem may resist taking responsibility for their own mishaps, they might also blame themselves for their partners' unhappiness. It is not uncommon for these women to settle for partners who don't treat them well because that's all they believe they deserve; but regardless of whom they partner with, they'll believe that they're to blame for any shortcomings in the relationship. When the relationship fails they'll take the blame for that too, reinforcing their beliefs that they're not worthy of love, and continuing the cycle.

Eating Disorders

    By definition, women with low self-esteem never feel "good enough." Some might try to improve themselves in ways that do not address their problems but give the women the idea that they're making an effort to improve their well-being. One way is by losing weight to fit into the supposedly perfect mold society has come up with. In short, women with low self-esteem may imagine that if they look like supermodels all their problems will be solved, as such they may develop eating disorders. The problem is that they will never feel good enough regardless of their physical appearance, because the problem is within.

    On the other hand an obese woman with low self-esteem might in fact punish herself for being overweight by over-eating, therefore gaining more weight and reinforcing her negative thoughts about herself.

Other Signs

    Other signs and symptoms of low self-esteem are inability to accept compliments, depression, anxiety, negativity and setting standards that are impossibly high.

Conclusion

    These are only a few signs of low self-esteem among many. Women who wish to improve their self-esteem should do further research with professional publications and counselors, but they might also look for support from their loved ones.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Teaching Children Self-Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 2:56 AM No comments

How to Teach Children Self-Confidence

A child who learns how to be self confident at a young age will likely grow into a confident adult. Self confidence means seeing yourself in a positive way. A child with a positive view of himself may be more successful as he tries new things and grows into an adult. If your daughter grows up with self confidence, she will have a feeling of self worth. Set your child up for success by teaching her to be confident in herself and her abilities.

Instructions

    1 Show your child affection. This can start from the moment he is born. Feed him when he is hungry. Hold him, talk to him and play with him. As he grows, read to him and continue to play with him. This tells him that he is important, a message which lays the foundation for self confidence.
    2 Allow your child to make choices on her own. When she is young, these should be choices without life-altering consequences. For example, ask your daughter what she wants for breakfast: eggs or cereal? What does she want to wear to school today? Allow your child to make these types of decisions on her own to give her a feeling of independence and control over her life.
    3 Give your child a responsibility. When he is old enough, he can put away his toys or he can feed the dog. This will help him to feel as if he is able to contribute something.
    4 Praise your child for her successes. Hang that scribbled artwork on the fridge. Post that report card for the entire family to see. Clap for her when she first learns to walk and celebrate with her when she learns to use the potty or read a book. Making your child feel as if she is doing well, as if her accomplishments mean something, helps build confidence in her abilities.
    5 Encourage your child to try new things. If he is interested in soccer, help him join a city team. If he wants to draw, sign him up for an art class. Allowing your child to try new things when he is young will help him to avoid a fear of new encounters when he is older. Don't put pressure on him as he explores his options. If he hates playing the piano, allow him to quit without being disappointed in him. Avoiding pressure will help him to feel that new experiences can be a safe and rewarding experience.
    6 Place restrictions on your child. Don't set her up for failure by allowing her to do anything she wants before she has the maturity or knowledge to handle the consequences. Know who her friends are and what type of influence they have. Teach her that negative actions (throwing a tantrum) have negative consequences (timeout). Giving your child boundaries will help her learn that there are consequences for her actions and will help her feel confident in her abilities to make correct decisions later in life.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

How to Overcome Low Self-Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 3:06 PM No comments
Self-confidence is an attitude that allows people to have a more positive outlook on themselves and the world around them. People with good self-confidence are able to have realistic expectations and be more independent in their decisions rather than rely on the approval of others. Many people have self-confidence in some areas of life, but not in others. Increasing self-confidence can lead to feeling more in control of life in general.

Instructions

Increase Self-Confidence

    1 Practice positive self-talk. All humans operate by making meaning out of life events. How we interpret events can lead to how we feel about them. When we fail to pay attention to our assumptions, we may get in the habit of saying and thinking negative, self-defeating things. Practicing positive self-talk is one way to combat this.
    Pay attention to your attitudes and to the types of things you say to yourself. If you find yourself saying negative phrases, such as, "I'm a failure," try to recognize the positive aspects of the situation.
    2 Stop comparing yourself to others. It is natural to measure ourselves against others, but this can lead to feeling disconnected, depressed and depleted. Try to replace negative comparisons with positive, affirmative statements about yourself and others. Evaluating yourself independently will help you to focus on your own strengths and abilities as well.
    3 Increase positive social activities. Socializing is key to good overall mental health, and having strong social supports keeps people from feeling isolated. Positive social activities, such as hobbies and exercise, can make you feel more positive and increase self-confidence.
    A study reported by Cynthia Graber in a May 2006 edition of "Scientific American" found that outside exercise specifically can increase your sense of mood and well-being. Doing activities such as gardening, hiking and sailing or walking in the park even for a few minutes a day can have a significant positive impact on your sense of self-confidence.

Friday, March 28, 2014

What Causes Low Self Esteem in Women?

Posted by Setiadi On 6:47 PM No comments
A woman's self esteem is the ability to feel good about herself and the knowledge from the inside out that she is fine just the way she is, even though she is not perfect. Several factors cause a loss of self esteem in women, such as abusive experiences, absorbed negative messages from relationships or from society and culture, insufficient emotional or physical comfort and unattainable expectations.

Abusive Experiences

    Emotional, mental, physical, sexual and verbal abuse all impact the way a woman views herself.
    The nefarious aspect of abuse is that it harms a woman's image of herself even if it was unjust, criminal or simply enacted out of immaturity. Many women were bullied repeatedly at school as girls. Even though this may have been done by aggressive, immature and even emotionally disturbed children, a woman's esteem of herself may suffer for a lifetime.
    Sexual abuse, by family members or by strangers, at an early age, is one of the strongest assaults on a woman's self esteem. Because being a woman often means seeing herself in relationship to others, women face the danger of putting too much emphasis on how others see and treat them. If they are abused, self-abuse can easily follow, which diminishes self-esteem.

Absorbed Negative Messages

    A woman can lose confidence in and esteem for her self-hood and personality by absorbing negative messages from abusive, overly critical or malicious personal encounters. These negative messages can reach a woman in a dysfunctional family, through the loss of a job or in an especially bitter divorce.
    A woman can also absorb negative cultural messages that erode feminine self esteem. Ultra-thin models assault a woman on the cover of magazines as she shops, goes to the movies or watches television and highlight, by contrast, what appear to be the woman's physical inadequacies.

Insufficient Comfort

    Finding herself in a situation where she must cope with insufficient emotional or physical comfort for long periods of time can also erode a woman's self esteem.
    If a woman works hard at a taxing job that offers her little pleasure, or lives alone when she is not the loner type, or suffers financially or experiences significant pain from physical ailments, chances are the woman will suffer from low self-esteem, blaming herself consciously or unconsciously for her uncomfortable life circumstances.

Unattainable Expectations

    A woman's own unattainable expectations can also deprive a woman of positive self-esteem. If she subscribes to the notion that she must be a Super Mom, look like a model or lose weight quickly, satisfy her husband's every whim and have a brilliant career as well as perfectly behaved children, she is bound to be disappointed in herself.

    Wednesday, March 26, 2014


    How to Build a Toddler's Self-Esteem

    Having self-confidence is important for a child of any age, toddlers included. At the toddler stage, kids go through a lot mentally, physically and socially when they're around other children their age at preschool and day care. If you notice your toddler exhibiting low self-esteem, act fast to improve her self-confidence. Having good self-esteem is important to a toddler's development as it gives the child courage to develop important skills and the willingness to take care of herself, according to the KidsHealth website.

    Instructions

      1 Show your child unconditional love at all times, being sure to repeatedly tell him you will love him no matter what. Toddlers are intelligent and aware of their surroundings. Be sure to constantly remind him that you always accept him.
      2 Give your toddler positive physical and verbal reinforcement. As she learns new things, and occasionally struggles with developing important skills, tell her verbally she is doing a good job and physically show positive reinforcement with clapping, pats on the head and back, and hugs and kisses.
      3 Offer your undivided attention to your toddler when he is telling you something or showing you something he made or a new skill he learned.
      4 Reward good behavior such as sharing, eating all of her dinner, going to bed when requested without complaint, and potty-training success. Conversely, have patience with your toddler when she is getting frustrated or acting out with a tantrum.
      5 Be consistent about the rules he must follow at home and in public, and explain them in a logical way he can understand. Explain the proper way to behave as well as the reasons behind it.

    Monday, March 24, 2014

    Self-Esteem Games for a Classroom

    Posted by Setiadi On 7:10 PM No comments

    Self-Esteem Games for a Classroom

    Self-esteem building straddles the border between the classroom and the counselor's office, but with the adaption of the zero tolerance for bullies policies across the U.S., self-esteem asserts its need to edge further to the side of classroom inclusion. Games that build self-esteem often lend themselves to building a healthy "team" atmosphere between students. This atmosphere is conducive to greater self-confidence, and sometimes, greater motivation to do well in school.

    Heads Up Seven Up Variation

      In this game, five students are selected to stand at the front of the classroom, while the remaining students put their heads on their desks, covering their eyes and holding their thumbs up in the air. The teacher then reads off an instruction, for example, "Go to a student who is kind to others," or "Go to a student who is a good listener." The five standing students should each gently push down the thumb of a student who they think demonstrates these admirable qualities. Once five students have been selected, they must stand up and guess who chose them. If they guess correctly, they get to trade places with the standing student.

    Talent Chain

      In this activity, give every student five strips of colored paper, and tell them to write a quality about themselves that they admire on every strip. Qualities could include that they are friendly, that they are good at baseball, or that they are organized. Demonstrate to students how to make a paper chain using their strips, and have them make a chain using their five strips. Next, have students work together to join their chains, and ask them what it symbolizes when all of their talents written down combine to make a very long chain.

    Attitude Charades

      In this game, a teacher must write different negative attitudes onto pieces of paper and drop them into a hat. Examples of negative attitudes may include "jealousy" or "frustration." Two students go each turn. One student pulls a paper out and acts out a scenario displaying the attitude written. The second student must guess what is being acted and then offer a suggestion to help change the negative attitude to a positive one.

    Human Thermometer

      In this game, the teacher designates one side of the room as "strongly agree," and the other as "strongly disagree." The students begin by standing in the middle of the room. The teacher will read out statements, such as "Sometimes I worry about being liked." The goal is to have students see that they are not alone in the things they believe, fear, or worry about, and that they all need to work together to support each other.

    Saturday, March 22, 2014

    How to Improve a Teenager's Self-Esteem

    Posted by Setiadi On 11:51 PM No comments

    How to Improve a Teenager's Self-Esteem

    As a parent, you must be aware of the impact you have on your teenager's sense of self-worth. Your words and actions help build or tear down your teen's self-esteem. Self-esteem issues affect teenager's from all walks of life whether they be healthy or ill, rich or poor or come from an a single-parent or two-parent home. During those moments, it will be up to you to step in and coax your child to improve her self-esteem.

    Instructions

      1 Praise your child for making positive decisions and caring for his appearance. Tell him you like his hair style and he looks handsome. If he brings home a test with a higher than normal score, tell him, "Excellent job. I appreciate your hard work." Putting a positive value on his actions shows him he is worthy of recognition.
      2 Trust her to make decisions. Show her she is capable of finding the answers for which she is looking. Talk to her about the events taking place in her life. Allow her to discuss situations and find a solution. Knowing she has the intelligence to problem solve will build self-confidence.
      3 Show empathy towards your teen. Relate to the situations with which he is faced. Tell him that "society was different when I was a teenager, but I remember how difficult it could be." Do not diminish his feelings or pretend to know exactly what he feels. Speak in a calm voice and reassure him with possible solutions to the situations plaguing him.
      4 Set achievable goals for your teen. If she is musically inclined, push her to try out for choir or to ask the band or orchestra director if she can test for a better seat. Tell her it's acceptable to not be the best at everything.
      5 Spur her to give back to the community. By doing so, you are telling her she is good enough to help others.
      6 Create a healthy routine for the entire family. Serve whole grains and limit junk food. Play outdoor games as a family. Exercise and a well-balanced diet work together to create a healthy teen. When you focus on the family as a whole you avoid pointing out any one individual in need of making a physical change. Healthy teenagers generally have higher self-esteems.

    Wednesday, March 19, 2014

    How to Build Self Confidence Quickly

    Posted by Setiadi On 7:08 PM No comments

    How to Build Self Confidence Quickly

    You may need a strong dose of self confidence to facilitate a seminar at a conference or meet with your boyfriend's parents for the first time. Alternatively, you may have landed an interview for the job of your dreams. In each case, you must step up to the plate and deliver your best performance. While it is normal to have a few butterflies beforehand, develop strategies that can help you build up self confidence quickly.

    Instructions

      1 Practice positive self-talk. Before a major presentation, meeting or interview, repeat affirmations or true statements about yourself. For example, "I am a seasoned professional who can inspire and motivate others to reach their potential" or "I am a loyal and supportive woman who will make Tom an excellent wife."
      2 Call supportive people. In any new or stressful situation, surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart. If you are feeling low, call a trusted friend or relative for reassurance and a positive energy boost. If possible, try to arrange a breakfast or lunch a few hours before the special interview or event. Avoid or limit any dealings with negative individuals who criticize or put down your goals.
      3 Take a 10-minute break and imagine yourself celebrating your accomplishment. You could plan the special dinner you will have after you land the job. Alternatively, you could mentally prepare the keynote address you will give to a gathering of young entrepreneurs in a few years time.
      4 Use your journal or a personal online blog to express gratitude for all the wonderful people and accomplishments in your life. If you journal on a regular basis, read any previous entries that describe positive events in your life.
      5 Surround yourself with tangible proof of your previous achievements. Keep trophies, awards and congratulatory notes on display in your workplace or home. Look at them regularly, especially when dealing with any new challenges in your life.
      6 Take a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Breathe in the fresh air and breathe out any negative or stressful feelings. In most cases, a short 10-minute walk will energize you for the day.

    Tuesday, March 18, 2014

    Black Women Self-esteem Tips

    Posted by Setiadi On 1:54 AM No comments

    Black Women Self-esteem Tips

    The black woman is among the most maligned groups in America. She does not have "good hair;" black men abandon her for white women because she is too bossy and assertive; she has the highest HIV rate of women under 25; she is nothing but a welfare queen raising children with no fathers present. Under such negative connotations, it's hard to see any silver lining to being black and female in this country, making it all the more important for her to develop a high sense of self-esteem.

    Hair

      Your hair is nappy. You cannot run an industrial-strength comb through it. So what? You're mad at that mess atop your head you were born with? Who cares if it doesn't conform with more Euro-centric, straight hairstyles? As a black women, you have arguably the most diverse set of hairstyles to choose from, more so than women of other races (many of whom emulate black hairstyles). Everything from bouncy bobs to curly little afros are yours. Embrace them, and stay away from those relaxers!

    No Black Men Anywhere!

      News Flash, ladies: Essence, Ebony and the thousand other news outlets that made it a recurring story: most black men do marry black women. According to a 2003 study performed by the Association of Black Sociologists, only 1 out of 10 black men will marry someone of a different race. That means 90% of black men marry black women. And while 45% of black women have never strolled down the aisle, the overall black marriage rate increased from 46.1% in 1996 to 47.9% in 2002. For those still looking for Mr. Right, consider interracial dating if you cannot find any black men who suit you. Your knight in shining armor might come in a different skin color.

    Too "Assertive"

      So you've been told that you're too assertive or independent. There's nothing wrong with that. As long as you're not biting off people's heads left and right for the slightest things, being assertive is crucial to surviving in this tough world. As is having a strong financial foundation. Go on and make your money. Everything else will fall in place in due time.

    Just Live!

      The media will always try breaking down the disadvantaged for ratings, not giving a care in the world to any resulting repercussions. Magazines will keep saying black women are not marriage material. Modeling agencies will keep measuring beauty by Caucasian standards. While there have been some breakthroughs in both areas for black women, reality is, you can't change how the press disseminates news. Walk in your own shadow and know that as a black woman, you are among the most unique individuals walking this planet. Tell that to yourself every day, and everything else will seem futile in comparison.

    Sunday, March 16, 2014


    Activities to Build Self Confidence

    Self-confidence is a key to good mental health but building self-confidence requires some work. Even the most successful people suffer from periods of self-doubt, and families and co-workers do not always realize the need for recognizing accomplishments and worth. If your self-confidence needs a boost, there are activities to help bring out your confidence.

    Setting Goals

      Perceived failure is fatal to self-confidence. If you are constantly frustrated at not accomplishing your day's goals, perhaps you're not being realistic. Write down the goals you want to accomplish. Be specific. For example, don't write "Clean the house." Write, instead, "Scrub the kitchen counters" and "Organize the bedroom closet." If it's a big goal, break it down into steps, and cross off the steps as you accomplish them. This will give you a feeling of accomplishment and provide the self-confidence to follow through with other goals.

    Happiness Lists

      As Marc Antony says in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, "The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones." Often, a single bad event---a harsh word from a friend, a mistake at work---overshadows everything else that happened that day.
      Before going to bed every night, make a list of five things that happened to you during the day. Are they mostly good or mostly bad? If you find yourself listing mostly bad things, change your focus to list only five good things that happened during the day. Ask family or friends for help if you can't come up with five things. Store these lists. After a bad day, pull out the lists and read through them as a reminder of what you have accomplished and are capable of. This will give your self-confidence a boost, even in times of failure or hurt feelings.

    Bulletin Board

      When our children do well on a test or report card, we post it on our refrigerator to celebrate their accomplishment. Why not give that same confidence boost to ourselves? Find a spot at home or at work that you see several times a day. Set up a confidence-building bulletin board in that spot. Fill it with anything reminding you of your worth. Things to post can include a copy of a congratulatory email from your boss, a loving birthday card that made you smile, a photo of a vacation or party that made you happy. Keep the board fresh. Try to add something new to it every month.

    Friday, March 14, 2014


    How to Use Image Visualization for Self Esteem

    Many people claim that image visualization can help you achieve goals and increase self esteem. During visualization, you replace negative images with positive ones. Use image visualization to improve the way you feel about your body. Raise your self esteem by creating love and acceptance of your external self.

    Instructions

      1 Buy a book or CD from a professional visualization coach. Follow the steps to create a visualization technique. See Resources below.
      2 Attend a seminar or workshop to help you learn visualization techniques. See Resources below.
      3 Find a quiet time and place. Dress in loose, comfortable clothing. Get into a comfortable sitting or lying position. Close your eyes. Relax a part of your body with each breath until you feel calm and rested.
      4 Open your eyes slowly. Look over your body. Think positive thoughts about your body. Imagine in detail the things you can do with your legs and arms. Imagine the feeling of movement in your limbs as you accomplish your goals.
      5 Close your eyes and visualize your eyes and your facial features. Think to yourself how beautiful your face is. Think of the pleasant things you see with your eyes. Hear kind words coming out of your mouth.
      6 Focus on your head and brain. Imagine good thoughts and intelligence moving through your brain.
      7 Imagine a light in the center of your body that symbolizes all the good things that have happened and will happen in your life. Keep the sensation as you open your eyes.

    Tuesday, March 11, 2014

    Starting Building Self-Confidence

    Posted by Setiadi On 7:22 PM No comments
    Self-esteem is your self-perception - how you honestly feel about yourself. Self-confidence is the confidence you have in your abilities to do well. Self-confidence comes from self-esteem. If you have high self-esteem/self-confidence, you value yourself and have a strong sense of self-worth. You feel capable and competent in your abilities. You usually do well in school by getting good grades. You have a lot of friends and don't have a hard time when it comes to dating. High self-esteem and self-confidence also makes you resilient. You have the inner strength to get through difficult times whether it is a break-up, intense academic pressure, or financial turbulence, you can effectively bounce back.

    Instructions

      1 Take a self-assessment quiz. Start with determining what your strengths and weaknesses are. Make a list of your insecurities. What makes you ashamed of yourself? Friends? Grades? Acne? Overweight? Whatever your insecurities are that are making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, write each down and address it by determining the best ways to resolve them.
      2 Getting to the root of the problem will help you clarify what the problem is and resolve it. If there are several, addressing one at time will make the process much easier.
      3 Perfection doesn't exist. Even the most accomplished people have insecurities and weaknesses. The difference is they know how manage their insecurities.
      4 Focus on the things you have, not the things you don't. A lot of students feel inadequate or inferior because of the lack of material things such as the latest Prada or Coach Louis Vuitton bags. If you acknowledge and appreciate what you have, it can combat inferior feelings because you will develop an appreciation. The inner peace that comes from fulfillment and satisfaction are the building blocks to self-confidence.
      5 Humility is the key building self-esteem. Being humble while showing your self-confidence will certainly paint a positive image of you in the minds of others.

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