Monday, September 30, 2013

The Joy of Self Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 12:04 AM No comments

Self confident people stay ahead of deadlines


Self confidence is known to make employees more effective in their jobs. Confident employees are capable of taking up complex tasks that require greater commitment and concentration. Confident executives are filled with hope and enthusiasm and are able to charge up the atmosphere of their workplace thereby inspiring people around them. These executives are a great asset to their employers as they have all that it takes to finish to with perfection the task at hand. Self confident people develop a habit of succeeding in whatever task they put their focus on. These guys surely beat deadlines.

Self confident people remain cheerful


A confident person is able to complete his jobs within the stipulated time and maintains an organized schedule. Staying ahead of deadlines keeps a person in control of the situation and matters at both office and home. A task completed well on time gives a certain joy and lots of time at hand as well. This avoids many tight situations and helps to maintain the calm and poise of a person. Self confidence is the best “face pack” one can have. You can make out a self-confident person with his beaming eyes and a cheerful persona.

Self confident people enjoy better health


Self-confident people are able to deal with chaotic situations with comparatively more calm and poise. They do not get puzzled because they have an inherent belief that they are capable of setting things right and make constructive efforts to solve the problem. This helps them avoid stress, high blood pressure, anger and confusion. Self confident people are, hence, on their way to good health and peaceful life.


Self confident people have more time for their family


A good day at workplace more often than not is quite a big factor as to how a person behaves once he gets back home. A great day at office makes a person cheerful and someone who would like to share happy moments with his family. He will have more time for his family. Spending time with spouse and kids often is a rejuvenating experience and makes him or her look forward for another great day.

Self confident people enjoy stronger relationship bonds


Spending time is the most precious investment one can make in any relationship. These days when divorce is on rise among working couples, confident people take difficulties in their stride. They are better organizers and are able to draw a line between work and family, creating a balance in their work and family lives. They are able to spend quality time with their families. They make sure that the time for the family should remain exclusively for the family and they avoid mixing it with work. Spending more time with children help them grow up with more sense of security and belongingness. These children, thus, have much greater chance to be self-reliant and self-confident when they grow up. Self confident people, by the virtue of their ability to organize things better are able to cement relationships with time and care. Self confident people also have friends and enjoy active social life.

Self confident people make more money


Self confidence helps executives generate a lot of team spirit and to have the ability to take up complex tasks and lead from the front. These qualities certainly bring profits in various ways for the company they work for. They are able to focus at the job at hand and complete it successfully. Self confident people tend to climb the corporate ladder comparatively fast and getter better pay packages!

Self confident people become role models


Self confident people stand a far greater chance of achieving success in life both on their work and personal fronts, than their counterparts. Self-confident people develop a certain charisma around them which makes people look up to them. They believe in themselves and develop the courage to take on bigger problems and provide solutions.

Self-confident people rise to enviable positions and act as a source of inspiration for learners and beginners. Self-confident people have more capability to become an asset to the company they work for and the nation they live in. People take pride in knowing and following them, and they often become role models as an employee of his company or as a father of his kid!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Ten Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Posted by Setiadi On 11:55 PM No comments
The best way to improve your life and earn the respect of others is to improve your self-esteem. This is not a very difficult task. All that it needs is good guidance. Here are ten tips that can happen when you improve your self--esteem.
  1. You should surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive, and shun friends who are cynical and negative. This will generate a huge swell of positive feelings in you. You will respect yourself more, and your self-esteem will grow.
  2. You should be clear about what you want to achieve in life. Set goals, and work for their achievement. To make your task easier, break your main goal into several smaller goals which are relatively easier to achieve. This will make the task of reaching your main goals seem easier. It will also give you a feeling of satisfaction whenever you achieve one of the smaller goals.
  3. Always be positive about yourself and keep reminding yourself about your good qualities, your accomplishments and how you help your family, friends, others and yourself. Don’t make the mistake of brooding over negative things, and never put yourself down.
  4. Develop the ability to accept criticism about yourself, without getting upset or defensive. This will help you eliminate your weaknesses one by one. However, make sure that the criticism is constructive. Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by criticism that is cynical or meant to lower your self-esteem. This will be a great mistake, and do irreparable damage to your self-esteem.
  5. We all need to accept the fact that we will fail from time to time. We should not let it get us down or to have too much of a negative effect on us. We should think that we have not been successful this time and that we will succeed the next time. This will help us to pull ourselves together and move on. Such an attitude will help us overcome the most difficult conditions.
  6. Never compare yourself with others. This is the easiest way to feel inferior and lose self-esteem. It is much better to rate yourself on your achievements. Such an approach will give you self-confidence. At the same time it will make you feel better when dealing with your peer group.
  7. Never put yourself down. Failures are like parasites. If you allow them to grow they will eat away your self-confidence, self-respect and self-esteem. The best is to push negative thoughts out of your mind, if you want others to treat you with respect. This can only happen when you project a positive exterior, even in most adverse situations. Make it a point to filter out all self-criticism.
  8. Don’t give in to bullies in your place of work or in your personal life. You must learn to stand up to them. This can only happen if you are assertive about your rights. Of course, this does not mean that you should pick up physical battles to make your point. On the contrary, you should exercise restraint and make your point in a dignified manner. This will not only make others treat you with respect but also increase your self-esteem.
  9. You may be self-conscious and because of this you may avoid talking to groups of people. Try to approach groups of people and introduce yourself to them. Ask them questions about themselves and try to be genuinely interested in the answers. Listen carefully and attentively to what they say and respond to show your interest. Interacting with people will make you feel more relaxed.  You will realize that it is easy to speak to groups of people and to relax by concentrating on what others are saying, rather than on yourself.
  10. Self-esteem is also dependent upon the felling of well-being. A lazy person or a poorly groomed person will always feel inferior to a confident, smart individual. So, you need to take good care of your body. Remember, a healthy body is essential for a healthy mind.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Socializing with Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 11:52 PM No comments
One of the most nerve-wracking situations for many people is attending social events, particularly those where you don't know anyone else. If you're like many people, you have visions of yourself standing alone, looking awkward, sweating, and sneaking out the side door early. Socializing is difficult for many people. Why? For one, it's a perfect opportunity for rejection.

After all, if you say or do something stupid, it's very easy for the other person to move on to someone else if they find your conversation dull. Or another scenario is one where you're stuck at a table with a bunch of other people you don't know, and you envision yourself staring at your plate all through the meal, completely at a loss of words.

These fears are very common and normal. That's good. It means that, if you feel this way, you're not alone. It also means that when you're feeling awkward in a social situation, others are as well. Even some people who appear to be completely at ease may have a  jumble of nerves and self-doubt inside. So what's the solution? If you are the person who speaks out first, makes the first move, and begins a conversation, you're taking the pressure off the other person. No longer are you now the one who is awkward at socializing, but you are now someone who is focused on the other people attending.



Changing your frame of mind in this way can be very helpful. It's also more helpful than changing your frame of mind in other ways, such as using alcohol or other medications (unless you've had a thorough check-up with a doctor who has prescribed anti-anxiety medications). It's true that alcohol can put you at ease and make starting a conversation much easier. The problem is that it also makes it much easier to take another drink, and another, and before you know it (or don't), you really are saying or doing something stupid. Unless you are absolutely confident (no pun intended) in your ability to control your drinking, avoid using this method as a solution to your social fears.

After you have reminded yourself that many other people there are feeling just as nervous as you are, try striking up a conversation. This is easier than it may seem--or at least, it does become easier with practice. One of the best ways to start a conversation is to ask questions. Then keep asking them. People like to talk about themselves, and it's also a subject that we all know well--so this avoids awkward moments trying to discuss the latest political issue or historical fact that someone may not be "up" on for whatever reason (life can get in the way sometimes).

The key to making this work, however, is to actually be interested in what the other person has to say. If you're constantly looking around, interrupting, or giving other signs that you're not interested, you'll quickly offend the other person, who may well walk away. Then you will find yourself in the situation you're trying to avoid.

When possible, take a buddy with you. Just be sure that you don't hide in the corner only talking to each other. Instead, use the "buddy system" to meet new people together. It's always easier when you have someone on your side. Simply knowing that at least one other person there likes you and is rooting for you can give you an instant confidence booster as you reach out to new people. Using the buddy method is also a great way to practice before you have to strike out on your own, which is likely to happen at least once in your lifetime. Feeling prepared will make you feel much more confident when you do find yourself in this scenario.

Forcing yourself to learn new social skills is scary. You are taking a risk. However, once you make the effort, even if it doesn't go as well as you'd hoped, you can feel better about yourself knowing you made the effort. Next time will go better. Give yourself credit for trying.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Self-confident people generate money


Self-confident people are filled with optimism and positive thoughts. They have an “I Can” attitude towards life and think it is possible to do great things. They are an asset to the organization they work for as they can be given tasks that demand greater responsibility and accountability.

They hence keep up the quality, which in turn helps their employers to reap greater profits and thus contribute to the well being of both employees and the employer. People like Bill Gates have contributed millions of dollars to the economies of their countries and have been involved in lots of philanthropic work worldwide as well.

Self-confident people generate jobs


Self-confident people are natural risk takers and have enough courage to pursue their innovative dreams. Self-confident people often work very hard for the dreams they believe in and often end up as becoming successful entrepreneurs. They create a lot of jobs for others by their innovative business ventures.

Though Edison faced a lot of difficulties as a child, his mother ensured that his self-confidence did not die. She made all efforts to encourage him and see him become successful. Today GE started by Edison is one of the world’s most competitive corporate organizations and is a hugely admired employer of thousands of people

Self-confident people make the nation self dependent


Entrepreneurs are a great catalyst of growth in any country. They do not sit idly waiting for the government reforms to come and pull them out. Instead they work out innovative ideas, which have commercial feasibility as well. They share the burden of the state by employing other people and giving them jobs. 

It saves the government lots of effort and money that could have been wasted in providing for the jobless youth. The money saved can then be routed to other developmental works for the benefit of all. The country does not need to borrow from the organisations like the World Bank and can deal with its developmental affairs independently.


Self-confident people present a better image of the nation


A nation of busy people conducting their day-to-day affairs is much better picture than having unemployed people taking on bad habits and creating a nuisance. Self-confident people are the face of any country, signifying optimism, hard work, determination and self-reliance. This helps the country to portray a picture of hope, dynamism, and growth to foreign investors who would like to conduct business activity and invest money in the country. This help create more and more jobs and a culture of hard work and achievement.

Self-confident people develop a habit of winning


Failure is an addiction and so is winning. It is just a matter of putting your efforts and thoughts in the right direction to become a winner and self-confident people do just that. A positive thought and self-confidence is what is needed to take an initiative, and a small achievement becomes the source of energy. This energy also gives a boost to the self-confidence of a person to take on a bigger leap and get successful. Thus every achievement breeds another initiative for yet another achievement!

Self-confident people help other people achieve their dreams


A person other than having the feeling of kindness and compassion for fellow human beings should also have enough resources or the ability to create resources to be able to help other people for the same. Self-confident people therefore are willing to give a helping hand to people and pull them up.

Self-confident people are an inspiration to others


Self-confident people succeed on both their professional and personal fronts. Self-confident people are respected and often spark others to perform as well and serve as a great inspiration for other people. People take a lesson from their struggles and their ability to turn failure into achievement.

Self-confident people strengthen the fabric of society


An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Self-confident people in a way save the society from the devil by being busy and involved in constructive activities. People tend to get inspired from self-confident people and the general atmosphere becomes that of hard work and achievement. Such an environment is conducive for growth and development and self-confident people should be given every credit for the same. This overall movement raises the overall self-confidence of the nation and makes it more competitive and a confident participant in the world economic scenario.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Self Confidence Makes You a Great Lover!

Posted by Setiadi On 11:46 PM No comments
Love is a beautiful emotion, a gift of God, given to a chosen few. Not everybody get lots of love in his or her lifetime. However, many times lovers mess it up by not able to meet each other’s expectations by growing too possessive, by becoming overtly shy, by becoming unnecessarily skeptical and what not!

Most of the time, the culprit is within ourselves making us see things much bigger and magnified than they actually are and makes us overreact to events that could have been easily avoided. It is much easier to lose than to build something – especially when it comes to the matters of the heart.

An ignorant and careless person is vulnerable to losing a lot, including his or her life partner as well. This article tells you some simple things that you can remember to help keep you from hurting your partner and keep your love life blossoming.  Here are some habits of self-confident lovers.

Self-confident lovers are not jealous


If you are jealous of your partner, this is a sure indication that the foundations of love are not deep enough to withstand the wear and tear of time. Self confident lovers consider their partners as an extension of their own selves and feel happy if somebody has something good to say about their partners. There is no “yours” or “mine” in their relationship. It’s always “ours,” which forms the basis of their love.

Most people get embarrassed or skeptical, or annoyed when someone makes a remark that “Your girl is so beautiful” or “Don’t you think your boyfriend has a talent of impressing girls around.” However, a confident man would say, “Yes. I know she is so beautiful and we are proud to be in love,” while a self-confident girl will shoot back – “Yes. He impressed me too!” Remember that your individual qualities now are a combined “quality pool” belonging to you both, and both partners must treat is as an asset. This is only possible when both of you are confident of each other’s love and commitment.

Self-confident lovers are more forgiving


Since self-confident people can maintain a cool and calm composure in the times of crisis, they are better at analyzing situations and are able to put themselves in their partner’s shoes. This way, they get their partner’s viewpoint and understand their behavior. In many instances, it happens that certain behavior of our partner annoys us or makes us skeptical. Lack of self-confidence can also make us think negatively. However, self-confident lovers believe in the policy of “forgive and forget” and can move on.

Self-confident lovers make their partner more secure and comfortable


In a relationship, looks do matter, but then the characteristics that matter even more are a sensible and rational nature, sense of humor, ability to handle tough situations and more. Self-confident lovers are the best places to look for these attributes. Their self confidence is contagious and they are promising professionals as well.

They enjoy respect and camaraderie, and nurture positive and constructive thoughts. They seem to have the ability to push away problems and provide for their family. In this world where genuine love seems to be an urgent need to calm humanity, a self-confident lover makes us feel secure, comfortable and this life seems worth living for!

Self-confident lovers give their partner a great gift – the gift of independence!


Sometimes love rather than liberate us, actually binds us. So much so that a possessive partner would like to have all the details of our lives. Who are the people you work with? Who was that “Daniel” who gave you a call at 7 in the morning? Why do you want to have your personal car? Why do you have to wear makeup every time you go out? Why are you wearing this dress at this hour…and so on!

Love, which was once the most beautiful emotion in our lives, which seemed to fill us with hope and enthusiasm, now seems to drain out all the energy from us. You feel as if you are bound to someone, answerable to someone and tethered to the wall with limited mobility. Love does not seem much more than slavery. Self-confident lovers realize the importance of independence. They let their partner fly and soar great heights, because they know that at the end of the day, it is to their arms their partner will return!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Self Confidence in Parenting

Posted by Setiadi On 11:43 PM No comments
There's a reason why so many people say it's the hardest job you'll ever have--raising a child. It's challenging, exciting, nerve-wracking, and one of the most amazing things you'll ever experience. Raising a child will put you through every emotion possible, including self-doubt.

Along with the joy of raising a child can come the fear that you're going to do something wrong, create permanent psychological damage, or a whole list of other things that may not go quite right. But relax--keeping a few simple things in mind can help raise your confidence as a parent.

First, know that you will make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. If you keep this in mind, you can take a great deal of pressure off yourself. Do your best, of course, but understand that there will be bumps along the road--possibly quite a few of them.

Rather than trying to be a perfect parent, do what you can to prepare for those bumps. Understand where your child is in development and learn what to expect; then expect the unexpected. Also remember that the worst may not happen. Your child may not go through the "terrible twos" or be a reckless teenager. Remember that all children are different. Try not to compare your child or your parenting to others or you may cause yourself unnecessary stress.

Don't believe everything the experts say. Sure, many experts have experience working with hundreds or even thousands of children. Listen to what they have to say, but don't take it as the final say. You know your child better than anyone, and if a piece of advice doesn't seem right for your child, trust your instincts. You're probably right. What may have worked for others may not work for you, and that's okay.



Family and friends are also likely to provide you with ample advice, some of which may be useful and some of which may not. Try to avoid the temptation of giving in to pressure from others if you feel that it is not right for your family situation. This can be difficult, particularly in close relationships. But establishing those boundaries because you know what's best for your child will help increase your confidence simply by knowing that you can determine what's best for you and stand up for it.

Spend time with your child. This may sound like old advice, but more and more studies show that children whose parents show an interest in them are better equipped to deal with some of life's challenges. This also helps you know your child better, which will in turn help you make better choices. It works well for everyone involved.

Seek help when you need it. This may sound contradictory to the earlier statements, but it's actually not. When you know your child and his or her needs well, you have a much better understanding of what advice to accept and what to reject. If you are dealing with a difficult or serious situation, and feel that it is out of your control, it's time to seek outside help.

This does not mean you are a failure. Rather, it shows that you are confident enough in yourself and your parenting to recognize that you may not have all the answers. Certain situations, such as out of control behavior or drug abuse require outside intervention. It's okay to ask for help when you need it, so don't put yourself down if this is the case.

Finally, remember that you are doing the best you can at any given moment. Life doesn't go smoothly all the time, and this is often most obvious in parenting. It's okay to make mistakes and even admit them. And when your children see you do this, you'll show them that a confident person is not perfect and that everyone makes mistakes from time to time. This in turn will help your children feel more confident when they make mistakes, too.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Self Confidence Counseling

Posted by Setiadi On 11:37 PM No comments
To lose your self confidence is to lose your very fiber of trust in yourself.  Instead of a person able to freely make sound judgment calls and possesses excellent decision making skills, individuals that lack self confidence are constantly second guessing themselves and often unable to make even the simplest decision without gnawing worry and concern. 

If you have found yourself to be slipping into the pit of low self confidence, do not worry, there is hope!  Instead of berating yourself over poor actions that occurred in the past, change your future.  Seek out counseling that will enable you to rebuild and maintain your self confidence at unparalleled levels.

The first step to self confidence counseling is making the commitment to seek out and attend these helpful sessions.  Whether private or in a group setting, this counseling can be the spark that changes your life.  You may enter the sessions as a self doubting, passive individual, but you will leave full of hope and optimism with the ability to totally trust your own actions and judgments.  Before you enter counseling, consider any potential obstacles in your current life. 

Perhaps your spouse, family member, friend, or co-worker has lowered your self confidence and may be detrimental to your counseling.  Perhaps you have experienced low self confidence since childhood and need to break the cycle imposed upon you by your parents or guardians. 



Maybe you are in a difficult situation at your job, with employees, bosses, or colleagues constantly tearing away at your self confidence.  Whatever the case, you should be prepared to make the commitment to begin a new way of life in order to rebuild your self confidence.  Even the smallest changes will help you in this process.  Being in the right frame of mind before you begin will assist you to your goal in a quicker, more positive manner.

Once you have determined to seek counseling, begin researching viable options.  The World Wide Web is a great source of information on counseling spots in your city or town.  If you feel entering counseling will be too overwhelming for you or your schedule does not allow it, the Internet is also a great tool that enables you to virtually meet and discuss with individuals from all over the world. 

There are many websites, forums, and chat rooms devoted to individuals working to rebuild their self confidence.  You can join these sites anonymously if you are worried about others finding out your private information, but still have the capability to begin some type of counseling.  Many individuals have a strong, confidence façade, but lack the same components on the inside.  If you find yourself in this situation and do not want the world to know you have a problem with your self confidence, this method of virtual counseling is perfect for you.

Traditional counseling tends to be the most effective method of rebuilding your dwindling self confidence.  Universities, hospitals, churches, civic groups, and even local organizations offer counseling of one sort of another.  You may be interested in joining a support group in order to interact with others that share your feelings of doubt and distrust. 

Many individuals find themselves too shy or ashamed for one reason or another to join a support group, or any other type of group counseling, immediately.  If you find yourself in this boat, consider private counseling first, then graduating on to group counseling.  If money is a concern, it should be known that group counseling is usually a great deal cheaper—if not free—than private, one-on-one counseling.

What ever form of counseling you decide upon, enter into it with seriousness and determination.  If you maintain a positive attitude and strive towards achieving your goals, your self confidence is guaranteed to drastically improve.

Monday, September 23, 2013


How to Build Self-Esteem After a Verbally Abusive Relationship

When you have been in a verbally abusive relationship, you often end up "owning" some of the mental images and ideas that you were told about yourself by your partner. These thoughts can begin to sink in and affect your everyday behavior; therefore, it is important to do some self-analysis to distinguish truth from lies and your thoughts from your partner's thoughts. Healing takes time, practice and patience.

Instructions

Journaling

    1 Try free association writing first, writing whatever comes to your mind. Freely write, and do not censor your thoughts or worry about things like punctuation or grammar. You are purging yourself of the thoughts in your head in the safest of places.
    2 List specific thoughts you have regarding your relationship. Dig deep into the nuances and sources of those thoughts by asking yourself leading questions. As an example, you may often find yourself thinking, "I was so stupid for ever dating him." You can ask yourself and answer questions such as, "Why did I start dating him, and what honestly attracted me to him at first?" "When did I start seeing him change?" "Where did this word 'stupid' come from, and why am I applying it to myself?"
    The point of this exercise is to gain awareness and understanding of the abusive thoughts that are now part of your thought-process, to separate what is truth from what is a lie and to regain control of your mind.
    3 Write down all of your fears. Pinpoint those that give you the most anxiety, and allow yourself to explore the roots of those fears. Analyze them by continuing to ask yourself, "If that happens or is true, then what?" Here is what this might look like:
    "Nobody will ever date me." Then what? "Then I will never get married." Then what? "Then I will be single forever." Then what? "Then I will watch my friends living happily with their families." Then what? "Then everyone will feel sorry for me and invite me to events out of guilt." And so on.
    The interesting thing about fears is that the less we acknowledge them, the more control they have over us. Allow yourself to investigate your fears, and you will regain control.

Rebuilding Healthy Relationships

    4 Think of the individuals in your life who offer you support. You may need to have an honest conversation with these people and discuss the events of your abusive relationship. Perhaps your relationship with this friend or family member was damaged by your relationship with your ex as well. Allow this individual to express her feelings as you express yours.
    5 Find a therapist who understands the nature of verbal abuse and allows you to express yourself clearly and thoroughly. Good therapists will ask you leading questions, will not judge you, will focus on you and your needs and will help you solve your own problems rather than only giving advice.
    6 Be honest about past abuse with significant future relationships as well. Do so in your own time and only if you feel safe and in control. As you grow closer to people, this will help them to understand you more deeply and will shed some light on some of your fears and insecurities. Especially when you have a healthy intimate relationship in the future, being honest about your past will help to separate fears from realities.

Focus on Truth

    7 Cut off all ties with the person or people who have abused you. You do not deserve to surround yourself with anyone who is harmful to you, lies to you or constantly brings you down.
    8 Counter any lies that may creep up into your mind with a truth. When you think, "I am a lazy slob," tell yourself, "No, I am hard-working and diligent."
    9 Have trusted confidants tell you repeatedly what your good qualities are.
    10 Do activities that make you feel your best --- working out, participating in sports or hobbies, volunteering, visiting old friends or doing work around the house.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Top Guide Of How to Have Self-Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 10:09 PM No comments
Self-confidence can drastically change quality of life. So don't waste anytime hiding in the shadows!

Instructions

    1 Think about what makes you unique and special. What is important to you? Think about people you care most about, activities you enjoy doing, goals for the future. What topics do you enjoy discussing? For people to find you interesting, you must figure out what makes you unique.
    2 As with anything, practice makes perfect! To start, go somewhere that you will be in a social situation wbut won't run into anyone you know. You will feel less inhibited knowing that no one you know has to know anything you do.
    3 Initiate conversations with other. Get used to striking up conversations. Almost anything can be a conversation starter. Compliments work well since, well, who doesn't like to be complimented? Just make sure you are sincere. Another good conversation starter is to point our something you have in common. Of course you don't know the person yet, so things you have in common can include waiting in the same long line, ordering the same drink, etc.
    4 Once you are making small talk with someone, segue into something with a little more substance. Try and find something you have in common with the other person and develop that topic. Ask open-ended questions like "What do you think about..."
    5 If you need help turning on the self-confidence, pretend you are someone else. Think of someone you admire and pretend you are them around new people. Even if you are terrified on the inside, no one will know if you seem confident on the outside. Self-confidence will become natural very quickly once you realize what you are capable of.
    6 Participate in activities you might be afraid to. Have you always wanted to play tennis? Join a tennis league. Interested in politics? Volunteer for a political campaign or take a political science class. Whatever you choose, stick with it. You may feel uncomfortable in the beginning, but if you stick with your activity, you will become comfortable and realize you can do anything!
    7 Stand up straight and keep a smile on your face. It will make you more approachable, and will even make you feel better.
    8 Remember to be true to yourself. Having opinions, even if they are different from the person you are talking to, make you interesting. Plus, if you can't be yourself around someone, you probably won't want to spend much time with them.
    9 Keep "practicing" self-confidence--eventually it will just come naturally!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Self-Confidence in Children Improvements

Posted by Setiadi On 11:27 PM No comments

How to Improve Self-Confidence in Children

Most parents want to help their children be happy and self-confident. As a parent who is striving to raise self-confident children, it is important to help children understand their strengths and weakness. Then a parent can help build on the strengths and improve the weaknesses. How a child feels has a direct impact on how a child behaves.

Instructions

    1 Realize that any personal problems you have will affect your parenting style and ability. If you have issues in your past that are continuing to bother you, do what you can to resolve them. Seek professional help if necessary.
    2 Play with your child. When you prioritize your child you are telling her that she is important to you. When a child feels valued and important, her behavior will naturally improve.
    3 Praise your child for successes and accomplishments. Look for opportunities to draw attention to good deeds. Take opportunities to say thank you to your child when he does something nice.
    4 Notice when your child makes efforts to succeed. Positive reinforcement of efforts will encourage her to continue to strive for successes.
    5 Pay attention to your child when she talks to you. Make eye contact to show her that you are listening. This tells her that you value her and what she thinks. Lay this groundwork while your child is young so that as she grows older she will continue to know that you are interested in how she feels and what she thinks.
    6 Address your child by his name when you are communicating with him. When people hear their name spoken, it communicates interest, concern and love.
    7 Notice any special talents your child may possess and encourage the development of these abilities. Encourage your child to improve skills and continue to improve. Be aware of maintaining an appropriate balance between protecting your child from failure and pushing your child too hard.
    8 Watch school influences carefully. Be involved in your child's school life so that you are aware of any negative situations (such as bullying or aggressiveness). A child with strong self confidence will know that being bullied is not acceptable. However if a child is not as confident, he may allow himself to become a victim.
    9 Give your child household responsibilities. Requiring children to help maintain a family home is very effective at building self-confidence. Household duties help a child feel useful and valuable.
    10 Show your children how to express negative feelings appropriately without becoming abusive or out of control. Children need to be taught how to express feelings that are uncomfortable and should not be encouraged to bottle up these feelings. However, children also need to know how to appropriately express feelings of anger or hurt without losing control or hurting others or property.

Friday, September 20, 2013


How to Enhance Your Self-Confidence

Low self-confidence can affect all areas of your life, including your health. Life is a series of ups and downs, and some people handle low points better than others. Self-confident people stand a much better chance of succeeding than people who struggle with low self-esteem. Many factors affecting your self-confidence may be out of your control; however, there are many things you can do to become more self-confident.

Instructions

Instructions

    1 Make realistic goals for yourself. While challenging goals are great, do not set your expectations too high; you want to be able to achieve your goals. Failing anything you have set out to achieve will be a major blow to your self-confidence, so be kind to yourself.
    2 Try positive self-talk, give yourself a pep talk or motivational speech while you are facing a mirror. Poor self-confidence often stems from worrying too much about what others think of us and feeling inferior to those people. Tell yourself you are just as good as anyone else, and celebrate your achievements and concentrate on the successes in your life instead of the small faults. Retraining the way you think can take time, especially as negative thoughts often occur naturally.
    3 Make decisions and be assertive when dealing with the consequences of your decisions. Do not be afraid to face your problems, avoiding them can have a negative effect on your self-confidence. Instead, face your worries and make a decision to work things out.
    4 Work out regularly. Being in good physical shape will improve your self-confidence. Find the discipline you need to exercise, even if it is only for a small amount of time each day. Feeling energized and being in shape can help you from feeling insecure and unattractive.
    5 Focus on the positives in your life and the changes you have made for the better. While what other people think may be of some importance to you, the only opinion that matters is your own. Spend less time trying to please other people and concentrate on making positive changes for you.

Thursday, September 19, 2013


Self-Esteem Builder Activities

Self-esteem is an important emotion in everyday life. It can help a person complete routine tasks with more confidence as well as give a general sense of well-being. If you suffer from low self-esteem, incorporate exercises into your daily routine that will boost your confidence and have you feeling better about yourself in no time. Exercises for self-esteem can include activities that you enjoy and that give you an idea of your accomplishments or enhance a positive outlook about yourself.

Create a Scrapbook About Yourself

    A scrapbook can be a way to remind yourself of your accomplishments, friends and family who love you and other activities that bring happiness in everyday life. You can include pictures of events where you found yourself surrounded by company you enjoy, such as a family party, or pictures that showcase things you are proud of, such as a graduation or personal accomplishment. Go back to this scrapbook every time you feel lacking in self-esteem. Creating a book entirely about yourself can enhance your self-confidence by showing you that your life is full of events and people that are meaningful to you and that you had a hand in creating. Sometimes all you need to pick up your confidence is a reminder of how well you put your own life together.

Make a List

    Listing your positive personal traits can help boost your self-esteem and confidence when you are feeling down. Start your list with a headline, such as "I Like Myself Because ... " or "I Am Good at ..., " and then continue the list with traits that fit this category. An example might be, "I am good at completing deadlines, being friendly and having patience." Carry this list in your wallet or purse, and pull it out when you need a lift. You can also have friends and family add positive things to this list to remind yourself of how others support you.

Learn Something New

    Learning something new can be a self-esteem booster. This hobby can be anything from learning to cook a new dish to how to fold an origami crane. Often you can find classes at local colleges or universities that are made for people who are looking to learn new hobbies. Choose something that is obtainable for you and that you find to be a relaxing experience. Including family members or close friends in your learning experience can also be a way to create a safe and supportive environment for yourself while you try something new.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Building a Three-Year-Old's Self Esteem

Posted by Setiadi On 11:45 PM No comments

How to Build a Three-Year-Old's Self Esteem

It is important for children to feel good about themselves. Children with healthy self-esteem are more likely to become productive adults. Parents play a key role in building their child's self-esteem. According to California family therapist Jane Nelsen, in order to have good self-esteem, children need to have a feeling of belonging, a belief in their abilities and the knowledge that they can make valuable contributions.

Instructions

    1 Show your child that you love him. Give him hugs, kisses and cuddle time. Get down to his level and make eye contact with him. Spend time with him. Treat all of your children fairly; don't play favorites.
    2 Take the time to listen to your child and teach him words to express his feelings. Allow him to ask questions and do your best to answer them. Talk about difficulties that you face and how you resolve them.
    3 Set boundaries for behavior and be consistent. Establish routines for how and when things are done in your home. Knowing what to expect will give your child a sense of security.
    4 Deal with your frustrations without yelling or calling your child "bad." Instead, explain that the child has made a poor choice. Correct your child and impose logical consequences when necessary; for example, throwing a tantrum when asked to turn off the television may result in the child losing his television privilege for the rest of the day. Make sure that you can live with the consequence you impose.
    5 Teach your child life skills, such as getting dressed or setting the table. Give your child the opportunity to try new things on his own. Allow him to overcome small difficulties without stepping in. Give him opportunities to explore and develop his unique talents.
    6 Praise your child for specific things that he is doing well. Tell your spouse in front of your child about good things that your child has done.
    7 Allow your child to make choices between two things that are acceptable to you. For example, ask, "Would you like to wear your red sweater or your blue sweater?" rather than, "What would you like to wear today?"
    8 Give your child the freedom to make mistakes sometimes. Let your child know that everyone makes mistakes, including you. Help your child think of what he can do differently next time.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Developing the Skill of Self-Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 10:06 AM No comments

How to Develop the Skill of Self-Confidence

To be a successful person, you must have the skill of self-confidence. Self-confident people have the ability to convince others that they have what it takes to complete a task. People think that self-confidence reflects the knowledge and strength that they need, so self-confident people are easily chosen for a project or selected in an audition. Self-confidence is a skill that can be learned, practiced and improved upon. With a little drive and determination, self-confidence can be acquired.

Instructions

    1 Make a spreadsheet of the ways in which you have been successful and call it your "Achievement Log." List in this log your achievements, such as high test scores, graduating with a degree, a special solo you performed well or even a great meal that you have prepared. Look at this log often, letting yourself enjoy these successes a few minutes every week.
    2 Inspect your "Achievement Log" and make another list of your strengths and weaknesses. Think about what your friends would consider strengths and weaknesses in your life. Next to these, list the opportunities and threats that may come into play. Meditate a few minutes a week on your strengths.
    3 Set some goals about what you would like to achieve in your life. Contemplate about what is truly important to you and what you would like to accomplish in life. Set targets for your goals and measure how you succeed in achieving these targets. Evaluate the strengths and weaknesses that might come into play as you work to achieve these goals as well as the threats and opportunities you might face.
    4 Manage your mind. Begin to eliminate negative self-talk that will take a toll on your confidence. Replace this negative self-talk with positive and rational thinking. Imagine what it will look like after you achieve your goals. Think about the settings and feelings involved after a big accomplishment in the future.
    5 Commit to finishing this journey toward self-confidence. Make a promise to yourself that you will not quit the process. Journal about your doubts and write rational and calm responses to these doubts. This will help you think more truthfully about your abilities.

Monday, September 16, 2013


Self-confidence, often called self-esteem, refers to your opinion of yourself and your abilities. Having high self-confidence is important for both a professional career and a satisfying personal and spiritual life. If you have low self-confidence, you may feel like your opinions are worthless, you have no useful skills or you simply may not feel "good enough." People begin to develop self-confidence as children. Your thoughts, how people treat you and your relationships with your friends and family affect your self-confidence.

Instructions

    1 Consider your strengths and successes. If possible, write them down so that you can look back at them later. When have you helped other people? What are you good at? What do you like doing? When have you been proud of yourself? What have you worked hard for? If you have trouble thinking of your strengths and successes, ask a family member or close friend.
    2 Assess your weaknesses. Are there specific tasks at work or home that make you anxious? Do certain people make you feel bad about yourself? Being aware of specific tasks you dislike, such as giving business presentations, can help you keep your weaknesses in perspective. In addition, being aware of flaws is an important part of having healthy self-confidence.
    3 Set meaningful and attainable goals. Write them down so you won't forget them. For example, if you enjoy cooking, resolve to make a home-cooked meal for friends once a week. If you like reading, plan to read one book each month.
    4 Combat negative thinking. Try not to focus only on the negatives of a situation, and don't put yourself down. Instead, forgive yourself for mistakes, and keep failures in perspective. Since some setbacks are inevitable, being able to cope with disappointment is important. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments.
    5 Track your success. When you reach a goal, reward yourself and continue to set more meaningful goals. Write down tasks you have accomplished, and look over your list when you need a confidence boost.
    6 Maintain your physical health. It's easier to feel bad about yourself when you're tired or sick. Instead, get plenty of sleep, exercise regularly and enjoy a healthy diet.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Tips to Build Up Self Esteem in Children

Posted by Setiadi On 7:24 AM No comments
Building self-esteem in your children can have a lasting impact on how they fare in life. Parents can do simple things to ensure that their children grow up with a healthy self-esteem

Instructions

    1 Realize the importance of self-esteem. Self-esteem is a critical factor in raising a healthy child. Children with a healthy appreciation for their own worth will act with great confidence, take on challenges and show a willingness to learn and embrace new things. Children with low self-esteem will be less likely to reach out to others, shy away from new experiences and opportunities and may lash out against authority.
    According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, parents play an important role in helping children gain greater self-esteem. The department's website cites numerous positive attributes to children with good self esteem, including:
    * Acting independently
    * Assuming responsibility
    * Taking pride in accomplishments
    * Tolerating frustration
    * Handling peer pressure appropriately
    * Attempting new challenges and tasks
    * Handling positive and negative emotions more evenly
    * Offering assistance to others
    2 Give encouragement. Sometimes, according to the department's website, building positive self-esteem could be as easily as saying "great job," "congratulations," and "way to go." Encouragement, praise, positive discipline and guidance can go a long way to helping a child build self-esteem. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services website suggests these things for parents working to build their child's self esteem:
    * Praise often. Parents must take advantage of opportunities to tell their children they are doing things right and demonstrating positive character traits. By praising them and showing them you are pleased with her actions, it will let her know how to get your attention in a positive way.
    * Teach positive self-statements. Counter your child's inaccurate or negative beliefs with positive reinforcement and positive ways to look at himself.
    * Do not ridicule or shame. Ridicule and shame will not only force a child to shut down but discourage them from doing anything where they believe it will elicit the same reaction. It can also lead to emotional disorders.
    * Allow your child to solve problems. Praise him when he does solve them. Take time to answer questions and gently lead him in the right direction, but don't solve it for him. Help them think of alternative options, but allow him to own the problem and the answer.
    * Laugh a lot. Show your children you can laugh at yourself and your make mistakes as well. Thus, they won't be hesitant to make their own mistakes, laugh at them and find the solutions. They will also learn that life should not be all serious, and some teasing is fun. Your sense of humor is important to your child's well-being.
    3 Additional tips. FamilyEducation.com also offers tips for parents to help build self-esteem, including:
    * Make sure your child feels special and appreciated. Make sure when you are reading with them or playing with them, not to answer the phone or be interrupted. This will send a message to your children that they are your No. 1 priority at that time.
    * Do not compare siblings. Each of your children is unique. Comparing them could force them to try to reach standards that are unattainable while at the same time minimizing their own unique strengths and talents. Praise the individual talents of each child.
    * Provide opportunities for your children to help and learn. If you child wants to help with cooking, give them different chores to do. In that, they begin to take ownership in what is happening around them and they feel they are contributing in a positive way. If your child is a good artist, display his or her artwork at home or at work.
    Make sure your child learns about available options and explores those options. The website Childdevelopmentinfo.com says: "A child who has only one friend and loses that friend is friendless. However, a child who has many friends and loses one, still has many. This same principle holds true in many different areas. Whenever you think there is only one thing which can satisfy you, you limit your potential for being satisfied. The more you help your children realize that there are many options in every situation, the more you increase their potential for satisfaction."
    The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Caring for Every Child's Mental Health Campaign can give parents additional information on self-esteem issues. It is part of the Comprehensive Community Mental Health Services Program for Children and Their Families of the Federal Center for Mental Health Services. Parents and caregivers who wish to learn more about mental well-being in children can call 1-800-789-2647 or follow the link to the National Mental Health Information Center in the Resources section of this article to download a free publications catalog.

Saturday, September 14, 2013

If you're preparing to give a presentation on building self-confidence to an audience, put yourself in your listener's shoes, but also be a model of the person they want to grow into. That means you need to both show you have lacked self-confidence at one point but have overcome it, and can show them how to do the same.

Instructions

How to Give a Presentation on Self-Confidence

    1 Identify Your Audience's Need
    You already know your listeners have come to your presentation to learn self-confidence skills and raise their self-esteem. However, they will get more out of your talk if they feel as if you were speaking specifically to them. There are two ways you can accomplish that:
    1.On the registration form, you may add a line that asks, "In what areas of life do you lack self-confidence?" Someone may be a confident chef but an insecure parent. So, she wouldn't be as interested in building self-confidence skills at work as she'd be at home with her kids.
    2.If you have a small group, just before you start your presentation, ask them to jot down on a piece of paper how they'd like to become more confident. Make sure you indicate you'll keep the answers confidential and that names are not required.
    The responses you get will give you a clear idea of what areas to focus on as you give your presentation. For instance, use the answers to help you select examples from life that your listeners will identify with.
    2 Tell Your Story
    To help your listeners connect with you emotionally so they'll believe you, start your presentation by sharing a piece of your life with them. Tell them an anecdote that illustrates how you went from having low self-esteem and lacking self-confidence to standing before them, confident you can help them do the same.
    To give a presentation in the first person, the authors of "Life Orientation" explain, is to show assertiveness, a trait present in those who are self-confident. And this leads to the next step.
    3 Walk the Talk
    Remember that your listeners came to hear your words but also to see you in action. They're looking to you for inspiration. So, when you speak to them, keep a few things in mind:
    The authors of "Communication in Organizations" state that "the posture of presenters expresses their state of mind." So, if you want to convey self-confidence and healthy self-esteem, observe your posture in front of a mirror. Are you slumping forward or standing erect? Also, practice looking into people's eyes instead of looking away.
    Speak in a manner that doesn't seem hurried or dull. Also, be prepared to project your voice---with confidence---even if you expect a microphone. You never know when technology will fail, so be prepared to adapt to the room's acoustics.
    Prepare to give a presentation in advance, even if you've done it before. Go over your notes and remind yourself of what worked the last time and what could use a revision. Showing up knowing what you want to say and how you want to say it will keep you calm and convey to your audience that you are indeed the right mentor for them.

Friday, September 13, 2013


How to Build Self Esteem in Preteen Girls

The preteen years are especially tough on girls. As their minds and bodies begin to experience the changes associated with puberty, they have conflicting feelings and thoughts. Parents may have to deal with their daughter's crying spells, sullen attitudes and mouthy behavior. To ease the transition from preteen to young woman, it is important to work on building a girl's self esteem during these stormy preteen years.

Instructions

    1 Remember what it feels like to be that age and try to understand her feelings. Every experience is amplified for a preteen girl. Even the smallest thing can make her feel upset.
    2 Present yourself as a role model. Preteen girls need positive female role models that can show them how to become a woman.
    3 Help them deal with friend problems. A girl's friends are very important to her during the preteen years and a small disagreement may seem like the end of the world to her. Be supportive and give her advice on how to work it out.
    4 Expect her to contribute to family life. Chores can give her a sense of accomplishment and make her feel as if she is making a positive contribution to the family. The tasks that you assign can be chores typically reserved for boys, including cutting the grass or painting a fence.
    5 Praise your preteen for her accomplishments. Let her know how proud you are and teach her how to accept compliments graciously.

Thursday, September 12, 2013


How to Build Self-Confidence for a Job Interview

When it comes to interview skills, "practice" does indeed make "perfect." Practicing your answers on paper to commonly-asked job interview questions will prepare you to be more confident in an interview. Three commonly asked interview questions are: "Tell me about yourself," "What makes you the right candidate for the job?" and "What would your previous employer say about you?"

Instructions

    1 Write out the answers to possible interview questions on paper. Put some effort into making the answers thoughtful, informative and concise.
    2 Sit upright properly in a chair in front of a full-length mirror. Place your hands in your lap. Place your feet together with your eyes directly forward. Observe your disposition and facial expressions. Adjust your demeanor to display confidence.
    3 Record yourself. Practice your interview answers using a camcorder or an audio tape recorder. Listen to your voice inflections. Observe your body language.
    4 Coordinate a mock interview with a friend as the job interviewer. Instruct your friend to be tough on you and ask questions in random order. Discuss improvements that will lead to a successful interview.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Self confidence is directly related to how a teenager feels about herself. If she feels good about her abilities, her confidence is usually high. However, if a teenager does not value herself, self confidence may decrease. It is possible to help your teenager build self confidence by helping her see her true value, providing guidance and a nurturing environment.

Instructions

    1 Work with your teenager to identify her strengths. Help her to notice the things she does well. While every child may not excel at football, some may be great musicians, writers, communicators, leaders, public speakers or skilled in certain school subjects. For example, focus on your teen's altruistic nature if she likes helping others through volunteer work. Help her to recognize that she is valuable and help her explore ways that she can expand upon her strengths.
    2 Nurture your child by providing a safe home environment. Be available when your child needs to discuss a problem. Advocate for her at school if she is experiencing problems. When children feel safe and secure at home, they may feel more confident going out into the world.
    3 Accept your child for who she is without judgment whenever possible. Teenagers are trying to decipher who they are and may go through a variety of stages or phases. By accepting your child, you are sending the message that you love her unconditionally even when she fails. Children who are loved and accepted generally have more self confidence than those who don't.
    4 Allow your child to fail at times even though this may be very difficult for a parent. When teens are allowed to experience failure, disappointment, criticism from others or loss, they generally grow as a result. However, they must be allowed the opportunity to experience the emotion and inwardly deal with it. When your teenager experiences these types of situations, be supportive but allow her the space to make sense of her situation and address it herself.
    5 Allow your child to learn how to make good decisions. When a teenager is faced with a decision, her self confidence can soar if she makes the right choice. Perhaps you can allow your teenager to make all her clothing or nutrition decisions and only guide her if the choices become unacceptable. For instance, let your teen wear whatever type of clothing she chooses but interject if she makes a choice that goes against school policy. This will help her to become comfortable with the decision making process and be more confident as she learns to make better choices.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013


How to Build Children's Self Confidence

Building a child's self-confidence is an ongoing process that takes work, patience and an understanding of the feelings of the child. You must pay attention to signs and clues giving you a glimpse into the child's overall emotional well-being. As self-confidence is taught and built upon, you must be cognizant of any issues, concerns or events that may set the child back a few steps.

Instructions

    1 Observe the child and take specific notes about how they react to pressure and other situations. For example, watch how the child interacts with other children of the same age. Pay attention to situations in which the child appears to pull back or act withdrawn. Note and list all behaviors that you notice and log the events leading up to the noted change in the child's confidence level.
    2 Talk to the child alone in a neutral environment. For example, take the child to a park or out for something to eat and have an open discussion regarding how the child perceives themselves. Ask open-ended questions about how other children and situations make them feel. Pay attention to clues and listen for negative words and phrases used by the child. Correct the child when they talk negatively and remind them of all of things they do right.
    3 Monitor the child regularly and every time you notice a marked change in their confidence level, sit down and talk to the child. Make sure to praise the child daily and make the things they do outwardly important. For example, if a child lacks confidence in school based on grades, make sure to reward the child for getting a score higher than expected, and showcase good work on refrigerators, walls or other publicly-visible areas to show that you believe in the child and celebrate his or her accomplishments.
    4 Remember to vocalize your feelings about the child on a daily basis. This includes every morning telling the child to have a good day, asking the child about their day in the evenings and talking about daily events and happenings every day, to show enthusiasm about occurrences that were important to the child.
    5 Solicit help and advice from professionals in the event that you are unable to get the child's confidence level to a point where the child has built self-esteem. Talk to pediatricians, family doctors and school counselors if you believe that the child needs help beyond what you can provide. In this case, make sure to let the child know that outside help is not a sign of failure but rather a promising avenue to make your child even more confident.

Monday, September 9, 2013

Building Your Friend's Self Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 1:25 AM No comments
Want to boost a friend's self-confidence? Good for you. The support of friends and loved ones can greatly influence a person's perception of their self-worth. With enough guidance, suggestion and patience, your friend may recognize her true potential. The following tips will provide ways you can help, and what you should do when your help might not be enough.

Encourage talent-inducing activities

    Everyone likes the feeling of doing something well. If your friend is a racquetball player, grab a racquet and foster her talent. Doing activities at which your friend excels will bring her out of her shell and make her feel like she has something to offer, which raises her confidence level.
    During the activity, try a teacher-student role, where your friend shows you a skill or technique. Ask for instructions on serving the ball, or other tips pertaining to the session at hand. Encouraging your friend to share her skills will promote a feeling of authority, which will also boost her self-confidence.

Do not tolerate self-deprecation

    Dr. Dorothy Briggs notes in her book, "Your Child's Self-Esteem," that a low self-perception is linked with thoughts of negativity. As more negative phrases are spoken, the lower the perception of self-worth. People with low self-esteem often make comments like, "Well, if I were only a little thinner this wouldn't be a problem," or "I guess it's my fault for just not being better." When your friend makes these comments, respond with a firm, matter-of-fact, "That's not true. I don't want to hear you saying that. I'm serious." Do not coddle or try to sympathize with the negative remarks, as the pity party will only get worse. By incorporating a no-nonsense attitude with your friend's downbeat behavior, she will re-program her mind. By blocking the remarks, she will soon learn to replace those thoughts with a more positive outlook.

Understand your limitations as a friend

    If your friend's low self-confidence is tied to clinical depression or suicidal thoughts, come to terms with your own inability to fully help them. If your friend is cutting or self-mutilating, the book, "How to Help your Hurting Friend," instructs not to condemn your friend, as she likely knows her behavior is wrong. The best way to help your friend in this situation is by encouraging her to seek help. Offer to drive her to counseling, get her to add a suicide hotline to his phone under a pseudonym and keep notes on the severity of her thoughts. Do not shoulder the burden of being her sole source of support, as it only does a disservice to you and your friend.
    If the issue of low self-esteem is tied to a problem that is not life-threatening, persuade her to join organizations of interest so her pursuits can be reaffirmed with like-minded individuals. Go to these events with your friend. Reneau Peurifoy, author of the book, "Anxiety, Phobia and Panic," explains that low self-esteem can derive from an early feeling of lack of acceptance. New activities with other supportive people can break her feeling of inadequacy, as it helps her face her fears of social rejection.

Sunday, September 8, 2013

For women and men, it can be hard to have a high self-esteem. In today's media with all of these people being so perfect, we tend to start thinking badly of ourselves. Do not listen. We are differently in every way. Everyone has flaws.

I have had weight problem most of my life. I am currently 180 pounds, but have been up to 220 pounds. It has been very hard, but I have learned to keep my self-esteem very high. Do not get me wrong though, I still had some bad times. I just remembered I am not perfect, but no one is.

Instructions

    1 Remember you are worth it. It does not matter what it is, you are worth it. You deserve the good things in life. No one has done things so bad that you deserve to be unhappy. Push for happiness in your life. Whether it is another person, your career, or anywhere else in your life.
    2 Look at the positive in your life. Looking at the negative does not help your self-esteem at all. Find the positive in everything. Life can always be worse.
    3 Look in the mirror and give yourself a pep talk. Tell yourself you deserve to be happy, look at the positive things. Remember DO NOT BE NEGATIVE! Negativity just brings your self-esteem back down, and people can see it in your face. They can tell the difference.
    4 Go shopping. Try thing on. Find something you feel great in. When you feel good about what you wear it shines through to your face. Never just settle on clothes, if you do not find something in one store, go to another. The items do not have to be expensive. Just because it costs, a fortune does not mean it makes you feel good about yourself.
    5 Walk with your head hi and look confident. Even if you are not completely confident, this will give the appearance of a person with great self esteem.
    6 Take time for you. We all tend to pay more attention to others in our life than we do ourselves. This does not help our self esteem. We need to take time for ourselves. If we focus on us, we tend to not worry about what others think of us.
    7 Think positively. We have to have confidence in ourselves before others can. No one can build our self esteem, we have to do this ourselves. You are worth it in every way. Keep working on it. You will become more positive in yourself, and your life.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Improving a Partner's Self-Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 10:05 PM No comments
Self-confidence plays a part in how you view yourself and your esteem. Boosting your partner's self-confidence will help him hold his head a little higher when enduring the ups and downs of your relationship. Use a variety of constructive techniques to improve your partner's self-confidence, allowing her to perform at her best.

Instructions

    1 Compliment your partner without solicitation. Focus on some of his strengths when first bestowing compliments. Make sure compliments feel candid and spontaneous. Commenting on some areas she may not realize are strengths may be increasingly helpful.
    2 Encourage new experiences. Getting your partner to try new things may present challenges he can overcome. The excitement that newness and achievement provide will be a confidence-booster and a motivator for your partner. Encourage her when she is leery of stepping out of the routine.
    3 Support good decisions he makes. Your partner's self-confidence will depend on the ability to make choices on her own--even when you might take a different approach. Being unsupportive may cause insecurity and indecisiveness. It will also serve to undermine his authority if you constantly suggest alternatives to and improvements on his choices.
    4 Celebrate successes. Show your partner that you notice milestones and improvement. This will serve to compliment effort and reinforce motivation. For example, telling your partner how good she looks in her clothes after a workout is a good way to motivate her to do it even more.

How to Develop Self-Confidence by Public Speaking

Public speaking consistently ranks among people's greatest fears, and with good reason. It can be extremely intimidating to stand in front of a group of people and have their attention focused solely on you. Experts at public speaking, such as those at Toastmasters --- an organization dedicated to help people become better speakers --- insist that the best way to overcome your fears about public speaking is to just do it. Even if you aren't necessarily afraid of public speaking, researchers at North Carolina State found that practicing can help develop self-confidence, as well as goal setting and research skills.

Instructions

    1 Write or find a sample speech to practice.
    2 Look up the pronunciation and definition of words in the speech with which you are not familiar, if you're using a previously written speech.
    3 Gather a group of trusted family or friends and read the speech to them.
    4 Ask your family and friends for feedback after you perform your speech, especially on your voice volume and speaking speed.
    5 Make notes about good places to pause or take a breath.
    6 Attend a local Toastmasters meeting for additional pointers and feedback, as well as additional practice. You can find meetings in your area by visiting the Toastmasters' "Find a Meeting" webpage.
    7 Volunteer to speak as often as you can. You gain confidence each time you perform.

Friday, September 6, 2013

How to Give a Talk on Self-Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 9:01 PM No comments
Self confidence is important in all kinds of situations--giving a speech, asking for a raise and asking a girl out, among many others. Unfortunately, many lack the self-confidence that it takes to get ahead in life. Teaching self-confidence can be a rewarding career. If you are going to give a presentation on self-confidence, you'll need to be prepared. This will give you the self-confidence you need to teach others.

Instructions

    1 Plan and practice your self-confidence presentation. Highlight methods attendees can use to increase self-confidence. A PowerPoint presentation will help you to show important bullet points as you are speaking. Outline your presentation and create the visual material. Then, practice and time yourself giving the presentation. You want to be sure that it is neither too long or too short based on the time period you have.
    2 Lead the group in interactive exercises. People will gain interest if you make your presentation interactive. Ask questions and let attendees explain some of their problems with self-confidence. While you don't want to turn your presentation into a therapy session, people may feel more self-confident when hearing that others face the same problems.
    3 Break the audience into smaller groups for practice. Give the small groups an activity that they can do to boost self-confidence. For example, you may want to try role playing exercises, or having one person in the group introduce the other.
    4 Allow time for questions. At the end of your presentation, you want to allow attendees the opportunity to ask questions. This can help to clarify the points that you made or help an individual work on a particular problem she is having.
    5 Prepare worksheets that attendees can use at home. At the very least, you should give all those that attend the presentation a copy of the outline that you used. This will help them to recall the information that you presented. You could also give a list of additional activities that they can do in order to boost self-confidence.

Signs of Low Self Esteem in Dating

Self-esteem is how you perceive yourself. If your self-esteem is high, then you have a good opinion of yourself. If your self-esteem is low, then you have a poor opinion of yourself. High self-esteem is important because it shows a positive attitude. Dating with low self-esteem or poor self-image often results in short-lived relationships.

Negativity

    A sign of low self-esteem in dating is constantly using negative terms like "I Can't," "I'll never have" and "I'm not." If you often find yourself trying to explain everything, such as why you're not pretty enough, smart enough or good enough, then that is an indicator of low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is the reason why some people feel they can never do anything worthwhile without consulting their partner. Low self-esteem will also make you too concerned about what your partner thinks about every little thing you -- and you feel you have to plan your life to please them. A negative self-image makes it very hard for some people to accept compliments without trying to analyze the meaning behind the compliment.

Holding Onto the Past

    A sign of low self-esteem and dating is difficulty focusing on your present relationship without comparing it to another one from your past. If you constantly try to find ways to connect what is happening in the present to something that happened a long time ago, that's a sign you have difficulty separating the past from the present. If you have good self-image, then you will be able to focus on the here and now of your relationship, even if it's your first date.

Self-verification

    Self-verification is a theory which suggests that people who have a poor self-image are often drawn to abusive partners. On the other hand, the self-enhancement theory implies that people who have a good self-image will gravitate toward partners who will treat them well. People with low self-image believe that they do not deserve the best and as such they often end up dating those who treat them badly.

Neediness

    Another sign of low self-esteem is extreme neediness which causes obsessive clinginess. A needy person will always want their partner to be with them. They will call on the phone numerous times a day just to "check up" on the partner and will always set up little "tests" to find out if the partner really loves them. A secure person does not need to go to these extremes and will only trust their instincts and act accordingly. If you feel you need to constantly check up on the person you're dating -- even though they have been honest in your relationship -- then you must come to terms with your low self-esteem.

Improving Self Esteem in Women

Posted by Setiadi On 9:04 AM No comments

How to Improve Self Esteem in Women

Women battle with self esteem issues every day. With the media and the perception of an ideal beauty being so strongly influential on today's women, the idea of having unique beauty is not often praised and confidence is often compromised when an individual compares herself to another. Self esteem is a powerful psychological makeup that each individual must come to understand and appreciate, otherwise the views an individual has on herself does not only affect her, but also her family, friends and overall health.

Instructions

    1 Achieve a positive outlook about yourself. For one week meet with yourself in the mirror and with confidence, speak about your inner beauty and speak positivity about yourself. This includes traits and attributes that makes you feel beautiful, strong and confident. Write down these affirmations and keep this chart wherever you often find yourself thinking negatively. When you speak these affirmations, you are speaking them into existence and within yourself. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, psychiatrist and writer says so poetically, "People are like stained-glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within."
    2 Be honest with yourself on who you are and what makes you unique. Consider if you view yourself as worthwhile and how physical appearance affects your views. This quote from model Kim Stoltz talks about honesty; "To me, true beauty means being honest, having a confident opinion... and being exactly who you are, regardless of others judgments." Keep a journal with any honest feelings you have about yourself, negative and positive. For the negative, ask yourself the question why you have this view and what action you can take to understand yourself and build confidence. For the positive, highlight these points and make a note of why these positives make you unique, beautiful and strong.
    3 Be professionally photographed. It is good to sometimes think outside your comfort level, and be inspired in new ways. Take a look at photographer's work and portfolios. Choose a photographer who has a similar style to your preference. Being photographed professionally is a great experience for boosting your positivity, confidence and self esteem in yourself. Some photographers may have a makeup artist and stylist on staff. See your session as a renewing of your self esteem and a celebration of your unique beauty.
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