Sunday, March 9, 2014

How to Exercise to Boost Self Confidence

Posted by Setiadi On 7:41 PM No comments

How to Exercise to Boost Self Confidence

Exercising not only helps you control your weight; it has equally important psychological benefits such as an improved self image, more confidence and a positive self outlook. As you begin to feel better about yourself, you're more likely to be motivated to change other areas of your life to control your weight. Exercise also helps you release negative emotions such as anxiety and frustration. When you're ready to engage in behavior that will boost your mental and physical health, you're ready to choose a fun exercise regime.

Instructions

    1 Rehearse your workout in your mind before you do it. This will reduce any anxieties or tension you may experience before you exercise. You will be psychologically ready and excited about doing it.
    2 Motivate yourself to exercise with positive self talk, like, "Let's do it" or "Keep going." Use these phrases to replace negative thoughts that undermine your confidence in your ability to complete your workout, like your mind telling you to stop.
    3 Look at your attempts to exercise as successful and acknowledge your efforts, even when you feel tired or haven't met your goals. This promotes feelings of self-control and competence.
    4 Set short-term minimally challenging performance goals with realistic expectations. For example, aim for 20 minutes on the treadmill. Be patient with yourself, especially if you've been a couch potato in the past. When you achieve your goals, you'll be more confident and encouraged to stick to your fitness plan.
    5 Get an exercise partner or other people to support you if you feel self-conscious about your appearance or aren't sure about doing the exercise routines. They can encourage and help you stick to your exercise program.
    6 Keep a record of your exercise activities, such as the minutes and seconds of aerobics, running distances, weightlifting repetitions, degrees of flexibility during stretching, body fat percentages and class attendance. This will promote your sense of competence and motivation.

Saturday, March 8, 2014


Signs & Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem

You may have difficulty opening up to others if you are suffering from low self-esteem. Low self-esteem can cause you to withdraw and seclude yourself from healthy social interactions. The more isolated you become, the more likely a domino effect will occur where your doubts and fears become magnified due to negative, irrational thoughts about how you perceive the world around you.

Inability to Focus in the Present

    Low self-esteem manifests itself through the inability to concentrate on the present moment. You complain or worry about past events or what may happen in the future. You sabotage your own successes by putting yourself down to others or quitting a job or an interest just as you're gaining satisfaction from it. You desire what you can't have, stating it will make you happy. Low self-esteem is often the result of feeling like the victim. You tend to blame others for what goes wrong in your life, rather than taking responsibility and changing the things you have control over.

Relationships

    You may find yourself building walls around yourself to keep others out as a result of your low self-esteem. You may fear being hurt if you get too close to someone or that you will hurt them. People with low self-esteem have difficulty putting their roots down and staying in one place. You may seem to be busy and may even overschedule yourself in an attempt not to look at at the feelings and issues that are causing you pain. You also may find you think others have more than you, are better than you or have it better than you. This may or may not be true, but your thought process keeps you from looking at what you are doing in your relationships to make you feel good.

Negativity and Addictions

    Negative thinking is at the root of low self-esteem. You may not realize you are telling yourself you don't deserve to be happy or that you aren't good enough. These are often the thoughts that paralyze you and keep you stuck in the negative frame of mind. Addictions can be to drugs, alcohol, food or even an emotion. This is a sign you are suffering from low self-esteem. The addictive substance helps you feel good in the moment, but once the thrill passes, you are left with the same low demeanor.

Solutions

    Listen to your thoughts and write them down if you can. If you find yourself blaming someone else, stop and ask yourself if it's really something they did or if there's something you're doing that you have the power to change. The more you are able to take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, the more in control you will feel. This is a powerful tool in combating low self-esteem.
    Practice deep breathing to stay in the present moment and enjoy where you are at right now. Appreciate what you have and where you are. This will help you ease into a more positive frame of mind.

    Try to connect with someone no matter how difficult it may be. Try to remind yourself that others may have the same difficulties and you may be helping them to overcome low self-esteem as well.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Self-confidence can serve you well. Feeling sure about yourself and your abilities is not only beneficial to feeling good but also has a profound impact on the social, professional, romantic and physical aspects of your life.

What Is Self Confidence?

    When you have self-confidence, you view yourself in a positive light. This belief allows you to have pride in your judgment and abilities.

Self-Confidence Affects Your Health

    Your overall health can be affected by your self esteem levels. A lack of self confidence will affect your mental health and may lead to the development of unhealthy habits.

Self Confidence Affects Your Career

    Confidence in your abilities on the job can help you get ahead in your career. As others see you taking pride in your work, they will also gain confidence in you as a co-worker or subordinate.

Self Confidence Affects Your Career

    Being confident in yourself will affect your social life. Not needing the approval of others you met will allow you to step outside of your comfort zone and explore different opportunities.

Being Confident, Not Arrogant

    Unchecked self confidence can lead to arrogance, which can become a major turnoff for people. Giving yourself a reality check will help you avoid offending those who may misread your confidence.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014


Self-Esteem Building Activities for Teens

Although low self-esteem can be harmful to anyone, it is particularly detrimental during the challenging teen years. During these years, teens are often confronted with a variety of changes and developments. As they compare themselves to friends and fellow students, teens may develop an unhealthy view of their own lives. Fortunately, there are a variety of self-esteem building activities for teens who suffer from low self-esteem.

Making Lists

    Although simple, list-making can be an effective method for building self-esteem in teenagers. To begin, the teen should make a list of at least five things she admires or appreciates about herself. This list can include simple things, such as her pretty smile, or more significant things like earning good grades in school. Each day thereafter, she continues to make a new list. These lists might include her five greatest strengths, five greatest life achievements, five people who love and care about her and her five favorite memories. The teen should keep these lists in a special place and refer to them any time negative thoughts enter her mind. If this activity is done in a group, each teen can share her lists with the other members.

Superhero Capes

    The superhero cape activity requires a large group of teens who know each other relatively well. Give each teen a large piece of paper approximately 3 feet by 4 feet. The teens write their names in large print along one of the 3-foot edges and then cut out a circle from the same end; the circle should be large enough to slide over their heads. When placed over her head, the teens name should be displayed across her chest, while the rest of the paper flows behind like a cape. Once the capes have been arranged around the room, the teens then scatter around and write positive affirmations on each others capes. The teens should aim to write at least one positive attribute or trait about each group member. At the end of the activity, the teens view their own capes to see what others have written. In many cases, reading these positive statements helps the teens feel a bit like superheroes with high self-esteem.

Self-Esteem Collage

    The self-esteem collage is similar to the list-making activity, but it takes away a bit of the vulnerability teens may feel when making lists. For this activity, the teen simply skims through magazines and clips out words or images to represent his life. These clippings might include words that describe his personality, images of activities he enjoys doing, people he admires, places he enjoys visiting, foods he likes or careers he wishes for. All the magazine clippings should be arranged into a collage. If done as a group activity, have teens post their collages for others to view.

Self-Esteem Calendar

    Whether it's caused by work, school, sports, family obligations or something else entirely, stress can seriously impact a teens self-esteem. As stress weighs upon a teen, he may slowly allow negative thoughts to enter his mind and his self-esteem suffers. To prevent this, it is important for teens to set aside time each day for things they love; a self-esteem calendar can help them stay on track. At the beginning of the month, give the teen a blank calendar for the month. The teen should then pencil in small things he enjoys doing for each day of the month. Activities might include baking cookies, watching a movie with siblings, playing a basketball game with friends, having a milkshake or reading a chapter from his favorite book.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Helping Children With Low Self-Esteem

Posted by Setiadi On 10:02 AM No comments

How to Help Children With Low Self-Esteem

A child with low self-esteem usually lacks confidence and feels doubtful about his abilities and achievements. He might also feel unloved and unappreciated. These feelings can cause a child to avoid new situations out of fear of failure. Low self-worth can also lead a child to talk about himself in a negative way, like saying "I'm fat," or "I'm rubbish at math." Parents and teachers can use a variety of techniques to boost a child's self-esteem over time. It is worth the effort to ensure that the child will grow up feeling good about himself.

Instructions

Be Honest

    1 Be careful in your choice of language and approach to the problem. Be honest with a child with low self-esteem and avoid showering her with faint praise like the empty phrase, "You're wonderful." It is more productive to be specific in your dialogue and give praise when she really deserves it For example, if a child scores lowish marks in a test and declares herself to be "stupid," you could point out that she has worked hard and that the mark was higher than last time.
    2 Give a child with low self-esteem some specific and regular responsibilities such as caring for a family pet. A job well done will boost self-esteem and show the child that he has the ability to carry out certain tasks. Get involved in the child's hobbies and interests and day-to-day life at school.
    3 Reassure the child that making mistakes is a normal part of life and not a disaster. Discuss solutions to problems. If she can learn to cope with upsets and upheavals, new challenges should not prove too frightening in the future and she will have the confidence to deal with life's ups and downs.
    4 Set boundaries regarding behavior and show consistency in how you deal with the child. Analyze your own behavior, speech and body language to see if you are unconsciously showing signs of low self-esteem and passing this on.
    5 Spend time with your child on a regular basis. Sharing an experience like shopping or soccer will confirm that you enjoy the child's company and this will help boost his self-esteem.
    6 Talk to your child's teacher about the self-esteem issue and devise some joint strategies. Perhaps the child could look after a pet at school and at home.
    7 Encourage the child to socialize with friends and to take up a hobby that requires social interaction. A team sport or a drama class could help build confidence, but do not force the child because it could make the situation worse.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Toddlers get much of their self confidence from their parents and immediate family. You really need to work at patients and understanding to teach this but it can be done.

Instructions

    1 First step is praise. Always give lots of praise. This is the best self confidence booster. When your toddler brings the dish to the sink for you or puts his shoes on by them self give them a round of applause toddlers love this. Make sure to say how good they are at everything they do.
    2 Don't talk bad about your kid when they are in the room. So many parents make this mistake. Even if your kid can't talk yet they may understand some of what you are saying. Nothing kills a kids self confidence more than saying things like they are a slow talker or that they are behind. Instead of talking about what they can't do mention what they can do. They should be over hearing positives.
    3 Let your kid know that you love them. Even if you are punishing your child say I love you, you just can't behave this way. The punishment needs to be for the behavior and not for who they are. Kids who are punished to severely by parents who are in the heat of the moment forget what they are being punished for and feel like it is a personnel attack.
    4 Teach your child. By learning from you a toddler gets a lot of self confidence. Think of fun projects and games you and your toddler can master together.
    5 Lastly don't correct your toddler when they are learning to talk. They will not get it right a lot but they will be discouraged if they are being reminded that all the time. Instead say very good and repeat the word or sentence. It will come together in time.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Building Self Confidence in a Kid

Posted by Setiadi On 11:03 AM No comments

How to Build Self Confidence in a Kid

All parents want their children to be confident and charismatic, but this can cause them to push their children too hard in the wrong direction. In some cases, they may take so much control over their children's lives that it causes the opposite effect, and their children become much too dependent. Treating your children with respect and giving them their own responsibilities can go a long way in increasing their confidence and self-esteem.

Instructions

    1 Give your children free time to decide their own activities. Scheduling your children's day too rigorously limits their use of imagination. Giving them time to create their own games can make them more confident and encourage their independence. This does not mean you cannot play with your children while they are doing this, but give them the opportunity to control the course of the game.
    2 Teach your children skills. Cooking is one example of skill that can instill confidence in your children. Give them room to experiment, but also make sure that they complete the task properly. This also encourages independence and confidence.
    3 Let your children practice things by themselves. Instead of doing things for your children, or taking over when they don't successfully complete a task quickly, give them time to figure it out themselves. This teaches them that they are able to overcome difficulties by themselves and do not always need to seek help.
    4 Praise and encourage your children's effort. This is different from praising the outcome. Whether they fail or succeed at a task, they will understand that hard work is important no matter the outcome. This means that regardless of how good the outcome is, they will be proud of the effort they put into an activity.
    5 Make your child feel loved. Your child should never feel as though your love hinges on their accomplishments or actions. Make sure your children know you love them no matter what.
    6 Be self-confident. It's important that you are as confident as you expect your children to be. If you have trouble with self-esteem, resolve them before pushing your child too hard. Children can tell when their parents are not as confident as they seem, so don't expect to fool them.
    7 Give your child chores. Similar to teaching them skills, making them responsible for some small task around the house makes them feel important to the workings of the family. Make them know they are a necessary part of the process, and make sure that they keep up with that task.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Improving Self-Confidence for Men

Posted by Setiadi On 2:11 AM No comments

How to Improve Self-Confidence for Men

Self-confidence stems from a well-developed sense of self and positive self-awareness. Environment and upbringing have a significant impact on the development of self-confidence in boys that will impact them throughout their adult lives. Perception of self will also impact every aspect of a person's life from relationships to job opportunities. Building self-confidence is a critical step in mental health and happiness. The best way to build self-confidence is to learn and develop certain positive thoughts and behaviors.

Instructions

    1 Focus on strengths. Make a list of positive attributes. Start with personality traits such as kindness, patience and integrity. Identify something you truly like about yourself, whether it is your eye color or your ability to sing. Add accomplishments such as winning a game, being named as employee of the month or writing a book. Enlist the help of friends or family members to add positive qualities to your list. Find activities or hobbies for which you have natural talent and pursue them.
    2 Engage in physical fitness. Regular exercise has proven benefits including decreasing stress and weight loss or maintenance. A fit and healthy body will increase self-confidence and at the same time improve your quality of life. Try new exercise programs or sports to challenge yourself. You can also join local groups focused on the activities you like the most such as running, bowling or cycling. This will also help you meet new people who enjoy the same activities you do.
    3 Establish a list of new goals to achieve. Set small goals at first to gain a deeper sense of accomplishment. Examples of small goals might be to run one mile or learn to cook a certain dish. Track your goals on a piece of paper as a visual reminder of progress and success.
    4 Surround yourself with positivity. Talk to people you admire and respect. Seek out their advice on life, work or relationships. Obtain words of wisdom you believe can benefit your own life. Incorporate books about overcoming obstacles or success stories into your life. Give compliments to other people and do good deeds for others. The reaction of people receiving small kindnesses will improve your state of mind and demonstrate you have the power to impact people in a positive way. Write yourself a motivational note and place it in a location so you can see it frequently throughout the day. This will help you train you to acknowledge and appreciate yourself.
    5 Avoid negativity when possible. If you are subjected to negative people at work, minimize contact with them outside of professional interaction only. If you know negative or critical people in your personal life, separate yourself from them as much as possible.
    6 Use your voice. Speak up at work, in personal relationships or social settings. Share a piece of good news, a new book you enjoyed or an interesting tidbit of information that others might find interesting. Engage others in conversation to share things you have learned -- especially if you are skilled in certain areas such as cooking, computers or sports. Teach people what you have learned and become a great resource for them to learn.
    7 Review your appearance. Notice other men you consider to be well dressed. Look at their attire and personal grooming. Look in your own closet to determine the articles of clothing you feel the best in. Make sure your clothes fit properly and need no mending. You do not need to purchase an entire new wardrobe, but consider adding a few updated pieces like a nice black sweater or a sport coat. Dress in a way that makes you feel put together and polished. Stand up straight. Good posture automatically projects confidence to other people. Make eye contact with people when conversing with them. Make a habit of greeting people and looking them in the eye.
    8 Volunteer to help others in your community. Being a positive contributor to your community will not only make you feel good about yourself, you will be helping others in need. Volunteer projects come in a variety of categories ranging from overseeing bingo at a retirement community to building homes with Habitat for Humanity.
    9 Record in a notebook those ideas, positive quotes and situations that have made you happy. Use this notebook to record your gratitude. Write down at least five things you are thankful for every day. Look at the growing list daily as a reminder of positivity. Keep notes about the goals you want to accomplish and those you have achieved as a reminder of your progress.

Friday, February 21, 2014


How to Deal With a Boyfriend Who Has Confidence Problems

Self-confidence is a necessary part of having healthy relationships. Without it, we can become needy, overbearing, jealous and angry. Improving your self-confidence is one thing, but helping someone else improve theirs is a whole different task. Because self-esteem comes from within, it's often difficult to change the mind of someone else. It can be easy to get frustrated and want to leave, but it's important that you practice patience, as making these kinds of changes in personality often takes time.

Instructions

    1 Be patient. It's easy to get down when your boyfriend constantly talks about how he's unworthy. Even though you may be nice to him and try to compliment him, he could shrug it off and continue to be self-deprecating. Just realize that these changes take time. Stay persistent with your encouragement.
    2 Give him random compliments. It's one thing to compliment him back when he says something nice to you, but it will mean much more if you tell him, for example, how good he looks for no reason at all. If he combats you and says "No I don't," quickly reply with "Yes, you do," and then change the subject. Don't let him obsess on negativity.
    3 Stop negativity without giving him too much attention. We all have problems, and sometimes it's necessary to vent. But when he begins speaking negatively about himself, you need to firmly and clearly say, "That's not true. I'm serious and don't believe it for one second." While listening is essential, it's also vital that you put a stop to negativity without coddling or sympathizing too much. Giving him too much attention for these negative statements will cause him to acquire a learned behavior, where he speaks negatively about himself to get attention from you.
    4 Ask him to speak with a doctor about his feelings. Low self-esteem and depression share several of the same symptoms, including a low sense of self-worth. Your boyfriend may have depression, in which case, his doctor may prescribe anti-depressants.
    5 Encourage your boyfriend to speak with a psychologist. Even if he's on antidepressants, therapy may help him more accurately find the root of his problem and therefore help eliminate it.
    6 Set a limitation. You must learn to be patient, caring and firm when dealing with a boyfriend who has low confidence. However, you must also put a limit on how long you're willing to put up with this behavior. If he shows no will to change himself, then you may want to consider leaving. Although it's easier said than done, breaking up may be best for both of you.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Help Techniques in Counseling Teens With Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem -- your perception of your worthiness -- develops during your early childhood years and can have an enormous effect on you even into your late adult years. Low self-esteem can become a vicious cycle and can result in depression, loneliness, a lack of close relationships and even suicide. Since low self-esteem is such a difficult and deep-rooted issue, overcoming it may be difficult, but it is possible. There are many help and counseling techniques available for teens with low self-esteem.

Identify the Cause

    In order to fix the problem, you first must identify the problem. What is it that causes some teens to have low self-esteem? It is often necessary to examine the teen's childhood in order to answer this question. Much of our self-image is developed at an extremely early age. Our initial relationships -- most specifically, with our parents -- especially influence our self-image. Were the parents neglectful, overly critical or abusive? These factors very frequently lead to low self-esteem. What about the relationships of the teen? Does the teen have many close relationships, or mostly just acquaintances? Loneliness or feeling isolated can also lead to low self-esteem.

Psychotherapy

    Low self-esteem is an extremely deep-rooted, longstanding issue. Its development is very early on and therefore your self-image is something that tends to be very prevalent over time. Psychotherapy may be the best form of help for a teen with low self-esteem. A trained professional psychotherapist understands how to identify the underlying factors and which of the various counseling techniques should be implemented.

Think Positive Thoughts

    Thinking positive thoughts: it might sound a little ridiculous, but it really is true that one negative thought perpetuates more negative thoughts, and one positive thought can turn it all around. When you have a negative thought about yourself, there are two things that you can do. First of all, either say out loud or in your head: "Stop!" The idea is to make you aware of your negative thought so that you can consciously decide to avoid that negative thought. The other option is the rubber band method. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and when you have a negative thought, lightly snap the band against your wrist. This is not meant to be self-destructive or overly painful. It is a well-received conditioning technique which helps you to realize when you are having a negative thought and avoid having that same negative thought in the future.

Get Involved

    Doing things that we love or excel at helps to improve how we see ourselves. Write down a list of things that you enjoy -- hobbies or activities. Then, determine a few ways that you can get involved in these activities with other people. Teens generally have a great number of options for extracurricular activities, such as joining a sports team, joining clubs in school or volunteering for a local charity organization. Whatever it is that you choose, make sure that it is something that you enjoy. The more you enjoy yourself, the better you will feel, and the more likely you will be to meet and develop close relationships with people who are interested in the same things as you.

Other Tips

    1. Realize that when you make a mistake, this is not a reflection of YOU or your worth. Brush it off -- everyone makes mistakes!
    2. Exercise. Getting into an exercise routine is beneficial for both your mind and body.
    3. Realize that perfection is an unrealistic goal. Allow yourself to be proud of your accomplishments.

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