Learn About Self-Confidence Techniques

The economy is not the only thing that's depressed these days. Having too little self-esteem can have a negative impact on all areas of a person's life, including work, parenting, friendships and intimate partnerships. Those with healthy self-confidence are likely to be more productive at work, parent more effectively and have more satisfying personal relationships. Learn how to cultivate and maintain a healthy level of self-regard by applying a few key methods.

Know Thyself

In order to have self-confidence, you must first have an established sense of self. Who are you deep down? What are your needs and desires? Explore your inner landscape and really get to know yourself. How has your history shaped your values in the present? Who are you when no one else is looking? Traditional therapy, journaling, or self-help literature can help you to connect to your inner self.

Support Network

Surround yourself with people who accept you just as you are without judgment or ridicule. True friends are people who make you feel good about yourself and support your individuality. Strive to accept yourself unconditionally, the way your best friends and loved ones do.

Don't Compare

Comparing yourself to others is one surefire way to bring down your self-esteem. Humans appear to have a built-in mechanism for comparison; we always want what the other person has. The next time you are comparing yourself against someone who you believe is smarter, better looking, more popular or more successful, bring the focus back to yourself. After all, the only true competition that exists is with yourself.

Deepen Your Spirituality

One of the deepest and most fulfilling sources of self-confidence is a connection to a higher power. If you have a faith or a spiritual belief, consider deepening it at this time. Get involved in your spiritual community, communicate more with your higher power and engage in regular prayer. It can be tremendously satisfying to remind yourself of your value in the eyes of your creator.

Affirmations

Affirmations are positive messages about yourself that can help to liberate you from low self-esteem. These messages can include, "You are beautiful," "You are perfect just as you are," "You are magnificent." Practice writing affirmations, and then post them all around your house in places you are likely to see them every day, such as your bedroom mirror and your refrigerator.

Sever Ties

Get rid of friends who are negative or critical toward you. If you generally feel bad about yourself after spending time with someone, this relationship is probably not healthy to your self-confidence. Be bold and sever ties with people who just bring you down. You'll be glad you did.

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How to Build a Kindergartener's Self Confidence

As a child is about to start kindergarten, she may feel some anxiety about being away from home during the day, meeting new people and wondering if the teacher will be nice, among other things. This is completely normal and shows that your child is processing her feelings about the milestone. You can help your child's transition to school by helping to build confidence. Self-confidence helps children to focus more on learning what is required at school, and will make building friendships easier.

Instructions

1 Praise your child for good deeds. When she helps you with a chore or cleans up her toys, make her aware of your approval. Say things like, "Wow, I'm really glad you cleaned your room. It looks great." or "You are a great artist, I love your drawing."
2 Encourage your child to try new things. If your child is interested in a new hobby, encourage her to practice and enjoy it. Extra-curricular activities such as sports and music help build confidence in a child's abilities.
3 Listen to your child with interest as she tells you a story or explains her needs and wants. Your undivided attention can make a child feel important and relevant.
4 Help your child to fit in with her future classmates. Don't rush out and buy the latest sneakers, but offer choices during the school shopping process. A child who is comfortable in the clothing she wears to school has one less thing to feel out of place about.

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Understanding The Signs & Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem in Women

Women with low self-esteem feel worthless, lack confidence and find it difficult to be assertive. They may feel victimized and may easily take things personally. Probably the most prominent sufferer of low self-esteem was Princess Diana, who was constantly criticized by her family as a child and grew up feeling inappropriate. At first the average-looking woman might not understand why a beautiful woman would feel so bad about herself, but self-esteem depends on emotional and psychological factors and not on physical traits. Identifying signs and symptoms of low self-esteem helps women take appropriate action to improve their lives.

Poor Self-Image

No matter how beautiful a woman may be, if she has low self-esteem she will feel unattractive. The woman might not take care of her appearance (not brush her hair or teeth for example) because she doesn't feel worthy of taking care of herself. In turn she might indeed become less attractive this way, resulting in a vicious cycle of feeling less and less self-worth.

Blaming Others for Negative Outcomes

Women with low self-esteem often believe that others are to blame for their mishaps, and they complain about their situation as though they have no control over their own lives. These women might feel as though they are victims, when in fact they have the power to change their situations.

Taking Blame for Partners' Unhappiness

Though women with low self-esteem may resist taking responsibility for their own mishaps, they might also blame themselves for their partners' unhappiness. It is not uncommon for these women to settle for partners who don't treat them well because that's all they believe they deserve; but regardless of whom they partner with, they'll believe that they're to blame for any shortcomings in the relationship. When the relationship fails they'll take the blame for that too, reinforcing their beliefs that they're not worthy of love, and continuing the cycle.

Eating Disorders

By definition, women with low self-esteem never feel "good enough." Some might try to improve themselves in ways that do not address their problems but give the women the idea that they're making an effort to improve their well-being. One way is by losing weight to fit into the supposedly perfect mold society has come up with. In short, women with low self-esteem may imagine that if they look like supermodels all their problems will be solved, as such they may develop eating disorders. The problem is that they will never feel good enough regardless of their physical appearance, because the problem is within.

On the other hand an obese woman with low self-esteem might in fact punish herself for being overweight by over-eating, therefore gaining more weight and reinforcing her negative thoughts about herself.

Other Signs

Other signs and symptoms of low self-esteem are inability to accept compliments, depression, anxiety, negativity and setting standards that are impossibly high.

Conclusion

These are only a few signs of low self-esteem among many. Women who wish to improve their self-esteem should do further research with professional publications and counselors, but they might also look for support from their loved ones.

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Teaching Children Self-Confidence

A child who learns how to be self confident at a young age will likely grow into a confident adult. Self confidence means seeing yourself in a positive way. A child with a positive view of himself may be more successful as he tries new things and grows into an adult. If your daughter grows up with self confidence, she will have a feeling of self worth. Set your child up for success by teaching her to be confident in herself and her abilities.

Instructions

1 Show your child affection. This can start from the moment he is born. Feed him when he is hungry. Hold him, talk to him and play with him. As he grows, read to him and continue to play with him. This tells him that he is important, a message which lays the foundation for self confidence.
2 Allow your child to make choices on her own. When she is young, these should be choices without life-altering consequences. For example, ask your daughter what she wants for breakfast: eggs or cereal? What does she want to wear to school today? Allow your child to make these types of decisions on her own to give her a feeling of independence and control over her life.
3 Give your child a responsibility. When he is old enough, he can put away his toys or he can feed the dog. This will help him to feel as if he is able to contribute something.
4 Praise your child for her successes. Hang that scribbled artwork on the fridge. Post that report card for the entire family to see. Clap for her when she first learns to walk and celebrate with her when she learns to use the potty or read a book. Making your child feel as if she is doing well, as if her accomplishments mean something, helps build confidence in her abilities.
5 Encourage your child to try new things. If he is interested in soccer, help him join a city team. If he wants to draw, sign him up for an art class. Allowing your child to try new things when he is young will help him to avoid a fear of new encounters when he is older. Don't put pressure on him as he explores his options. If he hates playing the piano, allow him to quit without being disappointed in him. Avoiding pressure will help him to feel that new experiences can be a safe and rewarding experience.
6 Place restrictions on your child. Don't set her up for failure by allowing her to do anything she wants before she has the maturity or knowledge to handle the consequences. Know who her friends are and what type of influence they have. Teach her that negative actions (throwing a tantrum) have negative consequences (timeout). Giving your child boundaries will help her learn that there are consequences for her actions and will help her feel confident in her abilities to make correct decisions later in life.

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How to Overcome Low Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is an attitude that allows people to have a more positive outlook on themselves and the world around them. People with good self-confidence are able to have realistic expectations and be more independent in their decisions rather than rely on the approval of others. Many people have self-confidence in some areas of life, but not in others. Increasing self-confidence can lead to feeling more in control of life in general.

Instructions

Increase Self-Confidence

1 Practice positive self-talk. All humans operate by making meaning out of life events. How we interpret events can lead to how we feel about them. When we fail to pay attention to our assumptions, we may get in the habit of saying and thinking negative, self-defeating things. Practicing positive self-talk is one way to combat this.
Pay attention to your attitudes and to the types of things you say to yourself. If you find yourself saying negative phrases, such as, "I'm a failure," try to recognize the positive aspects of the situation.
2 Stop comparing yourself to others. It is natural to measure ourselves against others, but this can lead to feeling disconnected, depressed and depleted. Try to replace negative comparisons with positive, affirmative statements about yourself and others. Evaluating yourself independently will help you to focus on your own strengths and abilities as well.
3 Increase positive social activities. Socializing is key to good overall mental health, and having strong social supports keeps people from feeling isolated. Positive social activities, such as hobbies and exercise, can make you feel more positive and increase self-confidence.
A study reported by Cynthia Graber in a May 2006 edition of "Scientific American" found that outside exercise specifically can increase your sense of mood and well-being. Doing activities such as gardening, hiking and sailing or walking in the park even for a few minutes a day can have a significant positive impact on your sense of self-confidence.

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What Causes Low Self Esteem in Women?

A woman's self esteem is the ability to feel good about herself and the knowledge from the inside out that she is fine just the way she is, even though she is not perfect. Several factors cause a loss of self esteem in women, such as abusive experiences, absorbed negative messages from relationships or from society and culture, insufficient emotional or physical comfort and unattainable expectations.

Abusive Experiences

Emotional, mental, physical, sexual and verbal abuse all impact the way a woman views herself.
The nefarious aspect of abuse is that it harms a woman's image of herself even if it was unjust, criminal or simply enacted out of immaturity. Many women were bullied repeatedly at school as girls. Even though this may have been done by aggressive, immature and even emotionally disturbed children, a woman's esteem of herself may suffer for a lifetime.
Sexual abuse, by family members or by strangers, at an early age, is one of the strongest assaults on a woman's self esteem. Because being a woman often means seeing herself in relationship to others, women face the danger of putting too much emphasis on how others see and treat them. If they are abused, self-abuse can easily follow, which diminishes self-esteem.

Absorbed Negative Messages

A woman can lose confidence in and esteem for her self-hood and personality by absorbing negative messages from abusive, overly critical or malicious personal encounters. These negative messages can reach a woman in a dysfunctional family, through the loss of a job or in an especially bitter divorce.
A woman can also absorb negative cultural messages that erode feminine self esteem. Ultra-thin models assault a woman on the cover of magazines as she shops, goes to the movies or watches television and highlight, by contrast, what appear to be the woman's physical inadequacies.

Insufficient Comfort

Finding herself in a situation where she must cope with insufficient emotional or physical comfort for long periods of time can also erode a woman's self esteem.
If a woman works hard at a taxing job that offers her little pleasure, or lives alone when she is not the loner type, or suffers financially or experiences significant pain from physical ailments, chances are the woman will suffer from low self-esteem, blaming herself consciously or unconsciously for her uncomfortable life circumstances.

Unattainable Expectations

A woman's own unattainable expectations can also deprive a woman of positive self-esteem. If she subscribes to the notion that she must be a Super Mom, look like a model or lose weight quickly, satisfy her husband's every whim and have a brilliant career as well as perfectly behaved children, she is bound to be disappointed in herself.

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Guides On Building a Toddler's Self-Esteem

Having self-confidence is important for a child of any age, toddlers included. At the toddler stage, kids go through a lot mentally, physically and socially when they're around other children their age at preschool and day care. If you notice your toddler exhibiting low self-esteem, act fast to improve her self-confidence. Having good self-esteem is important to a toddler's development as it gives the child courage to develop important skills and the willingness to take care of herself, according to the KidsHealth website.

Instructions

1 Show your child unconditional love at all times, being sure to repeatedly tell him you will love him no matter what. Toddlers are intelligent and aware of their surroundings. Be sure to constantly remind him that you always accept him.
2 Give your toddler positive physical and verbal reinforcement. As she learns new things, and occasionally struggles with developing important skills, tell her verbally she is doing a good job and physically show positive reinforcement with clapping, pats on the head and back, and hugs and kisses.
3 Offer your undivided attention to your toddler when he is telling you something or showing you something he made or a new skill he learned.
4 Reward good behavior such as sharing, eating all of her dinner, going to bed when requested without complaint, and potty-training success. Conversely, have patience with your toddler when she is getting frustrated or acting out with a tantrum.
5 Be consistent about the rules he must follow at home and in public, and explain them in a logical way he can understand. Explain the proper way to behave as well as the reasons behind it.

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Self-Esteem Games for a Classroom

Self-esteem building straddles the border between the classroom and the counselor's office, but with the adaption of the zero tolerance for bullies policies across the U.S., self-esteem asserts its need to edge further to the side of classroom inclusion. Games that build self-esteem often lend themselves to building a healthy "team" atmosphere between students. This atmosphere is conducive to greater self-confidence, and sometimes, greater motivation to do well in school.

Heads Up Seven Up Variation

In this game, five students are selected to stand at the front of the classroom, while the remaining students put their heads on their desks, covering their eyes and holding their thumbs up in the air. The teacher then reads off an instruction, for example, "Go to a student who is kind to others," or "Go to a student who is a good listener." The five standing students should each gently push down the thumb of a student who they think demonstrates these admirable qualities. Once five students have been selected, they must stand up and guess who chose them. If they guess correctly, they get to trade places with the standing student.

Talent Chain

In this activity, give every student five strips of colored paper, and tell them to write a quality about themselves that they admire on every strip. Qualities could include that they are friendly, that they are good at baseball, or that they are organized. Demonstrate to students how to make a paper chain using their strips, and have them make a chain using their five strips. Next, have students work together to join their chains, and ask them what it symbolizes when all of their talents written down combine to make a very long chain.

Attitude Charades

In this game, a teacher must write different negative attitudes onto pieces of paper and drop them into a hat. Examples of negative attitudes may include "jealousy" or "frustration." Two students go each turn. One student pulls a paper out and acts out a scenario displaying the attitude written. The second student must guess what is being acted and then offer a suggestion to help change the negative attitude to a positive one.

Human Thermometer

In this game, the teacher designates one side of the room as "strongly agree," and the other as "strongly disagree." The students begin by standing in the middle of the room. The teacher will read out statements, such as "Sometimes I worry about being liked." The goal is to have students see that they are not alone in the things they believe, fear, or worry about, and that they all need to work together to support each other.

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How to Improve a Teenager's Self-Esteem

As a parent, you must be aware of the impact you have on your teenager's sense of self-worth. Your words and actions help build or tear down your teen's self-esteem. Self-esteem issues affect teenager's from all walks of life whether they be healthy or ill, rich or poor or come from an a single-parent or two-parent home. During those moments, it will be up to you to step in and coax your child to improve her self-esteem.

Instructions

1 Praise your child for making positive decisions and caring for his appearance. Tell him you like his hair style and he looks handsome. If he brings home a test with a higher than normal score, tell him, "Excellent job. I appreciate your hard work." Putting a positive value on his actions shows him he is worthy of recognition.
2 Trust her to make decisions. Show her she is capable of finding the answers for which she is looking. Talk to her about the events taking place in her life. Allow her to discuss situations and find a solution. Knowing she has the intelligence to problem solve will build self-confidence.
3 Show empathy towards your teen. Relate to the situations with which he is faced. Tell him that "society was different when I was a teenager, but I remember how difficult it could be." Do not diminish his feelings or pretend to know exactly what he feels. Speak in a calm voice and reassure him with possible solutions to the situations plaguing him.
4 Set achievable goals for your teen. If she is musically inclined, push her to try out for choir or to ask the band or orchestra director if she can test for a better seat. Tell her it's acceptable to not be the best at everything.
5 Spur her to give back to the community. By doing so, you are telling her she is good enough to help others.
6 Create a healthy routine for the entire family. Serve whole grains and limit junk food. Play outdoor games as a family. Exercise and a well-balanced diet work together to create a healthy teen. When you focus on the family as a whole you avoid pointing out any one individual in need of making a physical change. Healthy teenagers generally have higher self-esteems.

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How to Build Self Confidence Quickly

You may need a strong dose of self confidence to facilitate a seminar at a conference or meet with your boyfriend's parents for the first time. Alternatively, you may have landed an interview for the job of your dreams. In each case, you must step up to the plate and deliver your best performance. While it is normal to have a few butterflies beforehand, develop strategies that can help you build up self confidence quickly.

Instructions

1 Practice positive self-talk. Before a major presentation, meeting or interview, repeat affirmations or true statements about yourself. For example, "I am a seasoned professional who can inspire and motivate others to reach their potential" or "I am a loyal and supportive woman who will make Tom an excellent wife."
2 Call supportive people. In any new or stressful situation, surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart. If you are feeling low, call a trusted friend or relative for reassurance and a positive energy boost. If possible, try to arrange a breakfast or lunch a few hours before the special interview or event. Avoid or limit any dealings with negative individuals who criticize or put down your goals.
3 Take a 10-minute break and imagine yourself celebrating your accomplishment. You could plan the special dinner you will have after you land the job. Alternatively, you could mentally prepare the keynote address you will give to a gathering of young entrepreneurs in a few years time.
4 Use your journal or a personal online blog to express gratitude for all the wonderful people and accomplishments in your life. If you journal on a regular basis, read any previous entries that describe positive events in your life.
5 Surround yourself with tangible proof of your previous achievements. Keep trophies, awards and congratulatory notes on display in your workplace or home. Look at them regularly, especially when dealing with any new challenges in your life.
6 Take a brisk walk around the neighborhood. Breathe in the fresh air and breathe out any negative or stressful feelings. In most cases, a short 10-minute walk will energize you for the day.

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