How to Teach Children Self-Esteem

Children who have high self-esteem think positively about themselves, and are able to deal with disappointment and failure better than children with low self-esteem. Scientists have found that children with low self-esteem are more likely than kids with high self-esteem to develop depression and substance abuse later in life. Children form opinions about their self-worth from watching the adults around them, especially their parents, when they are as young as a year old.

Instructions

1 To help your child develop good self-esteem, create a loving and safe home environment. A child starts developing her self-esteem and sense of self at a very young age when her family is her entire world, therefore creating a secure home life is essential. Parents should not fight in front of children, and all family members should strive to communicate positively and avoid name-calling or other insults.
2 Adults need to model positive behavior for children. Most children look up to their parents as their first role models. Be aware of what you say about yourself and others around your child. Don't criticize your appearance or the child will put too much value on physical attractiveness. Be positive about yourself and your accomplishments.
3 Be encouraging and affectionate. Tell him frequently how wonderful you think he is. Compliment him on being kind to other children or working hard on his homework. Include supportive notes in his lunch. Hug him and tell him you love him every day. Even if he rolls his eyes or resists, he will notice all these gestures and feel loved and special.
4 Redirect inaccurate or negative beliefs that the child expresses. If she says "I failed the test. I'm stupid," say "No. You're a great student and you studied really hard. This subject is hard. What can we do to help you understand it?" Focus on the effort the child made rather than the result, to help her learn to value the hard work she puts into a task rather than the outcome.
5 Teach the child to deal with failure. If he doesn't get a solo in the choir or misses a word on a spelling test, use the opportunity to explain that it's normal to not be perfect, and that not everyone can get chosen for everything. Remind him that most of the other children in the choir didn't get the solo either, and that's okay. Let him know you think he's a talented singer, and that you're proud of how hard he practiced. If he's really devastated, take him out for ice cream or a movie so he won't be able to sit around obsessing about his failure.
6 Give the child some responsibility. Make it her job to feed the dog every night, or to get herself up and dressed for school every morning without your waking her up. Praise her for being able to do these things without reminders. She'll be proud that she is doing something important without needing help.
7 Get the child involved in activities that interest her. Playing a team sport or learning to play an instrument will help her make friends and show her that she can be an important member of a team. Remind her again before a game or concert that it's okay if she makes a mistake or if the team loses. She should be ready to shrug off failures as a regular part of life, and move on to the next challenge.

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How to be More Assertive and Confident

Self-confidence and assertiveness are necessary qualities for individuals seeking to maximize their success and happiness in life. Being shy, timid, and anxious can often prevent the attainment of life goals and impede personal success and happiness. Learning to be more confident and assertive can empower a person and give him/her the skills necessary to achieve and be happy. Read on to learn tips on how to become more confident and assertive.

Instructions

1 Be Yourself
But be yourself with confidence. Many people feel as if they have to change who they are in order to be confident, assertive, and self-assured. You are a unique person with unique talents, gifts, and abilities. Your worth as a human being is unquestionable; be yourself, but be a self-confident and assertive you!
2 Live in the Present
Forget how timid, shy, and self-conscious you used to be. Forget about your past hurts, insults, or problems. You are alive in the here and now. Your self-confidence and ability to be assertive are alive and well and intact in the present. Dwelling on the past is damaging to self-confidence and self-esteem and is a huge impediment to personal growth!
3 Meditate Regularly
Meditate and visualize yourself acting and feeling self-confident, assertive, and powerful. The mind is very powerful and can be used to break through blocks and barriers that have been holding you back. Breathe deeply and slowly as you visualize yourself steam rolling over your fears and insecurities and gaining extreme self-confidence.
4 Counter Negative Thoughts
Make a habit of catching negative, hurtful thoughts about yourself that pop into your mind and countering them with positive, healthy thoughts. A lack of self-confidence and assertiveness are fed by a constant supply of negative, often times irrational thoughts. To raise self-confidence and to become more assertive, catch your negative thoughts and counter them with positive thoughts.
5 Model Others' Behavior
Without changing who you are as a person, model the behaviors of confident, assertive people whom you admire or are impressed by. Modeling positive behavior is EXTREMELY effective at producing positive change and growth. Become an actor and adopt those confident and assertive behaviors that you covet: mannerisms, voice inflection, posture, approach, etc.

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How to Raise Self Confidence in Boys

Boys are taught to be strong from a young age. Showing emotions is considered a sign of weakness. At an early age boys are taught that men don't cry. Boys are taught to suppress their feelings but are not given the proper tools to handle them. This can cause boys to feel isolated and as though they have no one who can understand them. Feelings of isolation may cause low self-esteem and can lead to disruptive behavior in order to fit in. It is important to instill self-confidence in boys so they will become emotionally healthy men.

Instructions

1 Make yourself available. Let them know you are someone who will listen without judgment. Because boys are taught to keep emotions inside, they may harbor fear of rejection if they express how they are feeling. Knowing they have someone who is willing to listen and not laugh at them can do wonders for their confidence.
2 Teach boys how to deal with their emotions. Let them know that it is OK to express emotion. It is good for boys to witness the men in their lives express their feelings. It gives them permission to do the same. During times of high stress or grief, such as during a funeral, boys may become confused if they see the men around them acting as if they are unaffected by the circumstance. Exhibiting healthy levels of emotion at appropriate times reinforces the idea that having these emotions is normal.
3 Encourage their interests. This does not necessarily mean that they have to be good at sports. In fact, if they are not athletically inclined and are chastised for it, this can crush their confidence. Help boys discover what they are good at and encourage them to pursue their interests whether it is science, writing or dancing. Teach them to appreciate their unique talents and capabilities. This will make them feel like a valuable asset to the world no matter what their interests.

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How to Promote Self-Confidence in Clinical Nursing Students

Most beginning clinical nursing students are apprehensive about their newly chosen career and the sometimes life-altering decisions it requires. It is up to educators to build lasting self-confidence in these students that they will possess throughout their nursing career. The best way for instructors to promote self-confidence in clinical nursing students is by imparting the knowledge needed to complete the job correctly, helping students as they apply that knowledge, and supporting students despite mistakes.

Instructions

1
Lead by example and demonstrate self-confidence as well as show mastery of clinical nursing concepts.
2
Understand students' learning styles and use activities such as simulation and observation to enhance student experience.
3
Be sensitive to students' needs to help them gain self-confidence. Show them support inside and even outside the classroom to help ease the transition from the classroom into the work environment.
4 Test students frequently so they know they can perform under pressure and remember their skills without hesitation.
5 Prove to students that they have the knowledge they need by allowing them to apply their skills in real, but carefully supervised, situations.

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The Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Men When Dating

Self-esteem is the belief an individual holds about his worth as a person. Self-confidence, on the other hand, is the belief he has in his abilities. Low self-esteem can impact a relationship regardless of time together or perceived compatibility. Engaging in a relationship with a partner who has low self-esteem can damage both partners, creating mental anguish and possibly abuse.

Ideas of Self

An individual with low self-esteem will constantly berate himself about his appearance or skill set, according to Joseph M. Carver, Ph.D. in his article "Are You Dating a Loser?" A man with low self-esteem appears as though he always must be in charge. He believes that his opinions are right and is quick to provocation regardless of circumstances. There is a tendency to feel as though everyone is against him or that he has been dealt a bad hand and is at the whim of the world. Often the partner in such a relationship bears the brunt of the man's skewed view of the world, becoming the center point for every problem that arises.

Ideas of Others

An individual with low self-esteem in a relationship will view everyone as an enemy or at least a potential thorn in both the relationship and plans for the future. In his attempt to eliminate support systems for his partner, he alienates family and friends and makes it seem like they are problems.
When telling stories about past relationships, he makes it appear that the other person was always wrong or caused the breakup. Whether there was infidelity, abuse or simply a clashing of personality in his past relationships, he blames it on the other person.

Emotions

Prepare for an emotional roller-coaster, because men with low self-esteem fluctuate between being kind and being mean. Quick to bouts of anger and apology, these individuals will always feel as though a fight is about to happen or that breaking up is imminent regardless of the circumstances. Flying off the handle at the slightest of disagreements, these men become raging volcanoes of irrationality.

Abuse

Often the verbal and mental abuse that the man with low self-esteem inflicts on his partner is a result of his not being equipped to have a complete, rational connection with another person. He acts impulsively to harm the other person because he is projecting his own insecurities and inadequacies on his partner.

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How to Address Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Self-esteem affects a student's classroom performance. Students with low self-esteem may have reduced desire to learn, difficulty focusing and be less likely to take risks. One of the building blocks for success in the classroom, positive self-esteem helps students face the challenges of learning. Teachers can nurture their students' self-esteem in several ways.

Instructions

1 Tell the student specifically what you like about his performance, as he may dismiss general praise as insincere. Use concrete examples of progress, such as comparing an earlier paper with a later paper that shows improvement so the student can appreciate his growth.
2 Avoid comparing students or posting grades. Encourage students to evaluate their performance based on their own goals or past performance rather than comparing themselves to others.
3 Help the student who is having academic difficulties understand that failure is part of the learning process and a normal part of life. For example, you might share that Lincoln lost seven elections before he was elected president. Help the student develop strategies to succeed and express confidence that you believe she will be successful.
4 Talk to each student about his hobbies or interests. Suggest ways she can get more involved in activities she likes. Encourage the student's sense of belonging by getting him involved with group activities or pairing him for an assignment with another friendly, helpful student.
5 When addressing misbehavior, make clear that the behavior is unacceptable but that the student is valued and accepted. If possible, deal with discipline issues privately. Let all the students know they are entitled to their feelings but their behavior must take others into consideration.
6 Send a note home to a student's parents to praise something noteworthy he did and let him know you're doing it. This will make the student and parents both feel good and encourage good relations between them.

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How to Build Self Confidence in a Child

Your child's mental health and social success depend on her self-confidence, according to AskDrSears.com. What you do now, to build your child's self-confidence, will last a lifetime. This is important because there is a connection between how we feel about ourselves and how we act. If your child is confident, she will likely be happier and more adept in social situations. If you have influence over a child, you can positively impact her self-confidence and help shape her into the person she will ultimately become.

Instructions

1 Teach your child, from infancy if possible, that he can trust and rely upon you to meet his needs. When he cries, respond by taking care of him as quickly as possible. This will help him realize a sense of self-worth because his caregiver responds to his needs. A child who cries and doesn't get a predictable response, most of the time, will become disheartened and have diminished self-worth.
2 Praise your child for her daily accomplishments, no matter how small. If she behaves appropriately on an outing, tell her you noticed and how pleased you are. If she picks up her trash and throws it away without being asked, thank her for doing her part to keep things clean. The more you praise your child for her actions, the more confident she will become.
3 Follow your child's lead when it comes to play. Carve out time each day to play with your child. Allow him to choose what to do, and participate. This will help him gain self-confidence, because he believes you like to do something that he enjoys. Even if you find the activity tiresome, participate with enthusiasm and interject your own variations as you play to create interest.
4 Address your child by her name and teach her to address others by name. Children with higher self-confidence frequently address their peers or elders by name or title, according to AskDrSears.com.
5 Avoid labeling your child due to his habits. Labeling a child as "lazy" or "sloppy" can set the stage for your child to believe that's who she is. This diminishes self-confidence. Instead of labeling, teach your child ways to combat bad habits.
6 Give your child responsibilities in which he can realize success. Think of an age-appropriate task you can assign to him that he can complete without your help. This will aid him in realizing that he is capable of accomplishing things on his own. Make sure to praise him for a job well done, each time.
7 Listen to your child. Encourage her to express her feelings to you. Do not judge. Instead, offer helpful alternatives for a problem she is having, so she will have the confidence to attempt to solve it on her own.

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How to Encourage Self Confidence

Self-confidence comes from believing that you are strong, valuable and capable. People who exhibit this trait are sure of themselves, unaffected by the opinions of others, and unafraid to take risks. A lack of self-confidence can begin in childhood, especially for girls, and remain throughout their lives. But that does not mean you must remain stuck in a lack of confidence. New behaviors can be learned at any age, allowing you to become more confident in your abilities and contribution to the world.

Instructions

1 Set and meet new goals. The goal can range from taking up a new hobby, trying out for a sports team, learning a musical instrument, or reading a difficult book. The idea is to try something new -- aiming not for perfection, but for completing the task. You can feel proud of learning something new. This builds confidence and will inspire you to tackle the next goal.
2 Help someone else who is less fortunate than you, or in need of your skills. Doing so allows you to think of others, taking the focus off your own perceived inadequacies -- and it helps you build confidence in the abilities you do have. Volunteer for an organization such as a soup kitchen, nursing home or pet shelter. Tutor a younger child. Bake cookies and take them to an elderly neighbor. Send an encouraging card or call someone who is going through a difficult time and offer words of encouragement to them.
3 Look for positive role models to encourage you to try harder. History is full of men and women who overcame difficult obstacles in life to achieve their goals. Many athletes exhibit determination and persistence. Numerous leaders model character and integrity. And people in your own community can offer encouragement through their actions. Allow yourself to be mentored by others, whether through reading about their lives or watching them in action.
4 Practice being assertive. Assertion is expressed through body language -- such as making eye contact with others, standing up straight rather than slouching, giving firm handshakes, and not crossing your arms across your body. It can also be expressed through the use of proper facial expressions. For example, do not smile to hide that you are upset if the situation warrants expressing your true feelings. Run through scenarios that normally make you uncomfortable, practicing assertive body language and facial expressions either in a mirror, or with someone you trust that can provide feedback and encouragement.
5 Develop healthy friendships with people who are trustworthy and interested in communicating and sharing equally with you. Spend time with the positive people already in your life, getting to know them better, if possible. Developing deeper friendships take time, but you can make it a priority to meet others with common interests -- join a club, find a church, take up a new hobby, or volunteer for a charity. Ask other people about themselves, and truly listen. Look for others who do the same for you -- healthy relationships cannot be one-sided.

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What Are the Causes of Low Self Esteem in Children?

Self-esteem is the opinion each person has of himself and his value as a person. Self-esteem is established over the course of a person's life, but during childhood a number of situations can negatively affect a child's self-esteem. Poor self-esteem in childhood carries over into the teenage years and adulthood, and can lead to poor choices such as drug use, abuse and bad relationships.

Abuse in the Home

The way a child is treated at home has a large impact on the development of his self-esteem. If a child is abused by his parents, either physically or emotionally, he will feel as though he is worthless and deserves to be treated poorly. Parents who physically abuse their children set them up for low self-esteem and increased chances of the child growing up and getting into relationships in which they are abused or abuse others. Parents who call their children names and yell at the all the time give their children the message that they are unimportant or unlovable.
Children who are neglected also struggle with their self-esteem. Parental neglect can lead kids to feel as though they are not important and are not worth their parents' time. They may feel as though they have nobody to trust and turn their negative feelings inward, blaming themselves for the way their parents act.

Poor School Experiences

A child's experience in school can also negatively affect her self-esteem. If a child is bullied by peers, she will learn that other people can be very hurtful, and she may feel as though it is her fault, especially if nobody stands up for her. Teachers who are cruel or call students names may also make children feel as though they are unimportant or that the names they are called are true.

Learning Difficulties

Learning disabilities can greatly contribute to a child's poor self-esteem. If a child's learning disabilities are not given attention or are ridiculed, he may begin to feel as though he is stupid and struggle to overcome his disability. As a result of a lack of achievement in school, the child may be looked down upon by peers, teachers and parents, further lowering the child's self-esteem.

High Parental Expectations

High expectations from parents can also play a role in a child developing low self-esteem. A child in this situation may feel as though she is never good enough for her parents and has to keep working to make herself live up to their standards. When the child fails to meet her parents' expectations, she will feel negatively about herself and learn to expect negative consequences from her parents. This is especially harmful in children who struggle with learning and don't receive the appropriate help and support.

Lack of Hobbies and Extracurricular Activities

Children need to succeed in hobbies and extracurricular activities to feel good about themselves. When kids are not given these opportunities to succeed in something that they enjoy, they are faced with feelings of failure and boredom. They may develop low self-esteem and poor self-image, leading them to turn to harmful behaviors to gain some control and focus in their lives. It has been shown that children have higher self-esteem and are less likely to turn to bad behavior when they have hobbies outside of school.

Overprotective Parents

Overprotective parents may unknowingly lead their child toward having poor self-esteem. This is due to the child not being able to experience life for himself, and having to always rely on his parents to do everything for him. While overprotective parents may mean well, their child may grow to feel like he is not able to care for himself and isn't worthwhile as an individual.

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How to Overcome a Crisis in Self-Confidence

Self-confidence can be shaken by stressful events in everyday life: losing a job, rejection, breaking up with a partner, or even for no apparent reason. By learning how to improve self-esteem, it can be easier to cope with a knock of self-confidence, and the negative experiences in life.

Achievements

If you find yourself suffering from a sudden crisis of self-confidence, spend a few minutes listing some accomplishments or achievements in your life, whether small or large. Think about how important that achievement was to you, what it meant for you to achieve it, and how it made you feel. Try to remember how far you have come in your life, and all you have overcome and achieved.

Comparisons

Try not to compare yourself to others. Just because someone else has more than you, or seems to have less stress and fewer problems than you, it doesn't mean that person doesn't have his or her fair share of stress. Everybody is different. You may never make as much money or be as slim or as popular as someone else, but that doesn't mean you aren't worthy of confidence and high self-esteem.

Acceptance

Learn to accept yourself for who and what you are. Learn the difference between what you can change and what you can't, and accept those things you can't change. Write a list of all the things you like about yourself, and use this to give yourself a self-confidence boost when you need it.

Goal Setting

Set yourself a small and easily achievable goal, then give yourself a reasonable time limit in which to complete it. Start working to achieve the goal immediately. Instead of focusing on huge goals, the things that seem nearly impossible, use small goals as stepping stones to reach the final goal. For example, if you want to lose weight, set a goal of seven pounds and achieve that, rather than 40 pounds, which may seem impossible. By achieving small goals, you may find your self-confidence increasing.

Solutions

Instead of focusing on your problems, focus on the solutions. How can you change events in your life? Try to come up with things you can do to make life better. Create a list of what might make you feel better about yourself, and try to find positives in every negative situation. For example, if you lose your job, see it as an opportunity to get a better one.

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How to Build Self Esteem in Teenagers

The teenage years can be a turbulent time. Teens go through many changes during this time of their life. Factors such as hormones, moods and peer pressure can often influence a teen's decisions. As a result, teens may make bad decisions, resulting in undesirable behavior and constant negativity. Having a strong sense of self-esteem means you have pride in yourself and in what you do. Teens that have self-esteem are filled with confidence and determination can make the the right choices in life and become well-adjusted adults. According to Dr.Joe Rubino, an internationally acclaimed author on self-esteem, having positive self esteem is very important in one's life and can help you achieve great success.

Instructions

1 Always be generous with praise. Look for instances when your teen has accomplished a new task, displayed a new talent, acted selflessly, or has demonstrated positive character aspects. Praising a teen for a job well done fosters his independence and encourages him to think positive because he knows he is doing a good job.
2 Consider positive self statements. Have your teen verbally say good things about himself. Point out your teen's strengths, such as sports that he is good at or subjects he has a strong knowledge of. Reinforce them when he encounters negativity and assist your child in taking pride in his own accomplishments. The ability to identify positive things about himself is an important part of building a healthy self-esteem.
3 Avoid harsh criticism. A certain level of criticism is okay but don't overdo it to the point where you're putting your teen down as he needs proper guidance. Help your teen learn from his mistakes. Give them constructive criticism when they attempt to resolve the issue because they are taking responsibility and learning from it. When dealing with mistakes, assist your teen in identifying the problem and then brainstorm solutions together. Allowing your teen to brainstorm with you will build his confidence and push him to become more involved in making positive changes in his life.
4 Allow your teen to make decisions on her own. Praise good decisions but also allow them to take ownership of their own mistakes so they can learn from it. Don't always solve their problems for them, as they will always depend on you when something goes wrong. Try some decision-making skill exercise such as making a list and weighing the consequences of each outcome. Letting your teen make his own choices promotes self esteem because it empowers him and builds up his self confidence.
5 Show your teen that it is okay to make mistakes and it is sometimes best to laugh at mistakes. At times, it's better to find humor than to focus on the negativity that surrounds a wrongdoing. This will prevent your teen from dwelling on her mistakes and allow her to move forward and achieve success in where she went wrong.
6 Have your teen set realistic goals, while encouraging her and praising her for achieving these goals. Assist your teen in reaching goals which she can fulfill. Reaching her goals will foster a sense of accomplishment. Your teen also learns that nothing is impossible if she just tries.

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Signs of Low Self-Esteem in Women

Self-esteem is the feeling of being worthy, deserving, and confident. So many women wake up every morning without that. They go through their daily activities without any joy. These women often don't take care of themselves; many times, they even place themselves in unhealthy or dangerous relationships or situations. Low self-esteem usually begins in childhood and is nurtured throughout life. There is hope out there and resources are available for women to lead a happy, worthy life.

Definition of Self-Esteem

According to Nathaniel Branden, a renowned psychotherapist best known for his work with self-esteem, self-esteem is defined as "the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness." Self-esteem can also be referred to as self-worth and self-image.

Low Self-Esteem in Women

Women are particularly vulnerable to low self-esteem. They strive to establish their place in a "man's world" in business, while at the same time trying to balance a career with family and household responsibilities. They strive to work on their physical image, feeling pressure to be thin and fit and look like a Hollywood starlet. Low self-esteem almost always starts in childhood.

Emotional Effects of Low Self-Esteem in Women

Low self-esteem combines beliefs with emotions. As a person believes she is not worthy, she experiences the emotions that those beliefs inflict. Depression, anxiety, restlessness, overeating, undereating, insomnia, lack of physical activity, perhaps even suicidal or self-destructive thoughts or actions come into play. A woman with low self-esteem may feel that she doesn't even deserve to live.

Physical Effects of Low Self-Esteem in Women

Low self-esteem can exert physical symptoms or conditions on the woman. As she doesn't take proper care of herself, she may not regularly visit a physician, get mammograms or pap smears, or exercise and eat healthy foods. She may become obese or anorexic. The lack of physical care can lead to undetected conditions, such as cancer, or can cause health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, or malnutrition.

Effects on Relationships

A woman's low self-esteem can affect every relationship she has. She may feel unworthy as a daughter, feeling she let her parents down by not being as successful, smart, or popular as a sibling, or to the same degree that she feels her parents think she should be. As a wife, she may not feel pretty enough, thin enough, or sexually attractive enough. She may even marry someone who is mentally or physically abusive, as she feels she doesn't deserve more. As a parent herself, she may have difficulty being a strict disciplinarian. In friendships, she may not pursue any relationships, causing her to feel more isolated. She may be a pushover and be unable to say no. She may develop relationships with people who take advantage of her vulnerability.

Treatment

Psychotherapy is very important to not only help a woman deal with low self-esteem, but also to uncover the reasons why she has low self-esteem. It's hard to fix a problem if you don't know what's causing it. Many times, a woman's unresolved childhood trauma (or a loved one's trauma) from emotional, physical, or sexual abuse needs to be addressed. A trained therapist and support group are of utmost importance. Learning to take care of herself physically will also help create feelings of self-worth. Exercising releases endorphins that enhance feelings of well-being and mood. Surrounding herself with positive energy--at work, at home, and in relationships--will replace negative thoughts with confidence and hope.

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How to Boost Your Self-Confidence in 6 Easy Ways

When your self-confidence is high you are more likely to achieve your goals in life, whatever they may be. Ultimately, this will make you happier and make you feel better about yourself. Work on building your self-confidence if you struggle with esteem issues.

Instructions

1 Focus on the good in yourself. Everyone has some things in their life that they have accomplished -- whether it's graduating from high school, getting a job, or buying your own car. Start focusing on the good things that you have done in your life. This will remind you that you are a competent person and capable of achieving things.
2 Exercise to make you feel physically powerful and to give you a renewed sense of self-worth. Exercise also relieves stress and allows you to relax. Relaxation is essential to your self-confidence because it helps you to think more clearly.
3 Live in the moment so that you're not focusing on what could or could not happen tomorrow or even in the next hour. Living in the moment allows you to focus on what's going on right then and there and nothing else. There is a sense of freedom and liberation in living like this, which is great for your self-confidence.
4 Do something you're good at, as this is an instant self-confidence booster. It doesn't matter if it's cleaning a room, washing a car or organizing a junk drawer. Everyone has something that they're good at. You will get an immediate sense of accomplishment during and after this task.
5 Dress nicely. Grooming yourself well is always helpful in boosting your self-confidence. This helps you to feel attractive and powerful. This is something that can be done every day to remind yourself that you are worthy, and it can help you to feel stronger about your presence in the world. This doesn't necessarily mean dressing up. It just means looking clean, stylish and well-groomed.
6 Do something good for others. Take the focus off yourself. A lot of times people spend too much time thinking about themselves and what they have or don't have. Doing something for others will help your self-confidence by letting you know that you are capable of making a difference in someone else's life. A lot of times it will also show you that your life is not as bad as it seems.

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How to Develop Self-Confidence & Influence People by Public Speaking

Public speaking is your opportunity to persuade an audience to agree with your perspective on an issue of concern. An effective public speaker blends a fluent, cohesive speaking style with substantive arguments involving the facts of the topic, the moral implications of the topic and the personal connection between you and the topic. By developing a confident speaking technique and preparing a speech built to influence an audience, you can influence crowds and help others understand the issues about which you care.

Instructions

1 Believe in your topic and develop a comprehensive understanding of it. Research links between your topic and the audience, such as past efforts of the audience to support the topic or past problems the audience faced as a result of the topic. Use the research you do for the topic as a confidence-building technique, as speakers who speak on topics they understand and appreciate are more natural and convincing.

2 Prepare to engage the audience using the three primary rhetorical concerns. Prepare a logical argument for the support of the topic, citing specific information, statistics or quotations, providing credibility to your argument. Write an ethical appeal for the topic by describing an ethical standard, upheld by the affirmation of the topic, providing credibility to the audiences desire to agree with the topic. Prepare an emotional appeal by describing your personal connection to the topic, and explaining why the topic is so significant, providing credibility to yourself and your connection to the topic.
3 Prepare for your speech, rehearsing it thoroughly. Get used to the sound of your own public speaking voice, while you get used to the speech itself. Practice until you are able to spend the majority of the speaking time looking into the mirror and not at your notes. Use this technique to build confidence in your speaking ability and in your ability to give the speech.
4 Practice using a clear speaking voice, enunciating correctly and speaking with confidence. Record yourself as you practice the speech in the mirror, and listen to the recording, noting any areas where your voice trails off or sounds muttered. Rerecord the speech after correcting these errors to ensure you addressed the problem successfully.
5 Write a series of possible questions, regarding your topic, and prepare educated and insightful answers to each. Note a few important points you expect to come up as questions from the audience. Practice answering them in the mirror. Use this to prepare for the question-and-answer period following the speech, helping you remain confident and keep a prepared appearance.

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The Joy of Self Confidence

Self confident people stay ahead of deadlines

Self confidence is known to make employees more effective in their jobs. Confident employees are capable of taking up complex tasks that require greater commitment and concentration. Confident executives are filled with hope and enthusiasm and are able to charge up the atmosphere of their workplace thereby inspiring people around them. These executives are a great asset to their employers as they have all that it takes to finish to with perfection the task at hand. Self confident people develop a habit of succeeding in whatever task they put their focus on. These guys surely beat deadlines.

Self confident people remain cheerful

A confident person is able to complete his jobs within the stipulated time and maintains an organized schedule. Staying ahead of deadlines keeps a person in control of the situation and matters at both office and home. A task completed well on time gives a certain joy and lots of time at hand as well. This avoids many tight situations and helps to maintain the calm and poise of a person. Self confidence is the best “face pack” one can have. You can make out a self-confident person with his beaming eyes and a cheerful persona.

Self confident people enjoy better health

Self-confident people are able to deal with chaotic situations with comparatively more calm and poise. They do not get puzzled because they have an inherent belief that they are capable of setting things right and make constructive efforts to solve the problem. This helps them avoid stress, high blood pressure, anger and confusion. Self confident people are, hence, on their way to good health and peaceful life.

Self confident people have more time for their family

A good day at workplace more often than not is quite a big factor as to how a person behaves once he gets back home. A great day at office makes a person cheerful and someone who would like to share happy moments with his family. He will have more time for his family. Spending time with spouse and kids often is a rejuvenating experience and makes him or her look forward for another great day.

Self confident people enjoy stronger relationship bonds

Spending time is the most precious investment one can make in any relationship. These days when divorce is on rise among working couples, confident people take difficulties in their stride. They are better organizers and are able to draw a line between work and family, creating a balance in their work and family lives. They are able to spend quality time with their families. They make sure that the time for the family should remain exclusively for the family and they avoid mixing it with work. Spending more time with children help them grow up with more sense of security and belongingness. These children, thus, have much greater chance to be self-reliant and self-confident when they grow up. Self confident people, by the virtue of their ability to organize things better are able to cement relationships with time and care. Self confident people also have friends and enjoy active social life.

Self confident people make more money

Self confidence helps executives generate a lot of team spirit and to have the ability to take up complex tasks and lead from the front. These qualities certainly bring profits in various ways for the company they work for. They are able to focus at the job at hand and complete it successfully. Self confident people tend to climb the corporate ladder comparatively fast and getter better pay packages!

Self confident people become role models

Self confident people stand a far greater chance of achieving success in life both on their work and personal fronts, than their counterparts. Self-confident people develop a certain charisma around them which makes people look up to them. They believe in themselves and develop the courage to take on bigger problems and provide solutions.

Self-confident people rise to enviable positions and act as a source of inspiration for learners and beginners. Self-confident people have more capability to become an asset to the company they work for and the nation they live in. People take pride in knowing and following them, and they often become role models as an employee of his company or as a father of his kid!

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Ten Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem

The best way to improve your life and earn the respect of others is to improve your self-esteem. This is not a very difficult task. All that it needs is good guidance. Here are ten tips that can happen when you improve your self--esteem.

1. You should surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive, and shun friends who are cynical and negative. This will generate a huge swell of positive feelings in you. You will respect yourself more, and your self-esteem will grow.
2. You should be clear about what you want to achieve in life. Set goals, and work for their achievement. To make your task easier, break your main goal into several smaller goals which are relatively easier to achieve. This will make the task of reaching your main goals seem easier. It will also give you a feeling of satisfaction whenever you achieve one of the smaller goals.
3. Always be positive about yourself and keep reminding yourself about your good qualities, your accomplishments and how you help your family, friends, others and yourself. Don’t make the mistake of brooding over negative things, and never put yourself down.
4. 
   Develop the ability to accept criticism about yourself, without getting upset or defensive. This will help you eliminate your weaknesses one by one. However, make sure that the criticism is constructive. Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by criticism that is cynical or meant to lower your self-esteem. This will be a great mistake, and do irreparable damage to your self-esteem.
5. We all need to accept the fact that we will fail from time to time. We should not let it get us down or to have too much of a negative effect on us. We should think that we have not been successful this time and that we will succeed the next time. This will help us to pull ourselves together and move on. Such an attitude will help us overcome the most difficult conditions.
6. Never compare yourself with others. This is the easiest way to feel inferior and lose self-esteem. It is much better to rate yourself on your achievements. Such an approach will give you self-confidence. At the same time it will make you feel better when dealing with your peer group.
7. Never put yourself down. Failures are like parasites. If you allow them to grow they will eat away your self-confidence, self-respect and self-esteem. The best is to push negative thoughts out of your mind, if you want others to treat you with respect. This can only happen when you project a positive exterior, even in most adverse situations. Make it a point to filter out all self-criticism.
8. Don’t give in to bullies in your place of work or in your personal life. You must learn to stand up to them. This can only happen if you are assertive about your rights. Of course, this does not mean that you should pick up physical battles to make your point. On the contrary, you should exercise restraint and make your point in a dignified manner. This will not only make others treat you with respect but also increase your self-esteem.
9. You may be self-conscious and because of this you may avoid talking to groups of people. Try to approach groups of people and introduce yourself to them. Ask them questions about themselves and try to be genuinely interested in the answers. Listen carefully and attentively to what they say and respond to show your interest. Interacting with people will make you feel more relaxed.  You will realize that it is easy to speak to groups of people and to relax by concentrating on what others are saying, rather than on yourself.
10. Self-esteem is also dependent upon the felling of well-being. A lazy person or a poorly groomed person will always feel inferior to a confident, smart individual. So, you need to take good care of your body. Remember, a healthy body is essential for a healthy mind.

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Socializing with Confidence

One of the most nerve-wracking situations for many people is attending social events, particularly those where you don't know anyone else. If you're like many people, you have visions of yourself standing alone, looking awkward, sweating, and sneaking out the side door early. Socializing is difficult for many people. Why? For one, it's a perfect opportunity for rejection.

After all, if you say or do something stupid, it's very easy for the other person to move on to someone else if they find your conversation dull. Or another scenario is one where you're stuck at a table with a bunch of other people you don't know, and you envision yourself staring at your plate all through the meal, completely at a loss of words.

These fears are very common and normal. That's good. It means that, if you feel this way, you're not alone. It also means that when you're feeling awkward in a social situation, others are as well. Even some people who appear to be completely at ease may have a  jumble of nerves and self-doubt inside. So what's the solution? If you are the person who speaks out first, makes the first move, and begins a conversation, you're taking the pressure off the other person. No longer are you now the one who is awkward at socializing, but you are now someone who is focused on the other people attending.

Changing your frame of mind in this way can be very helpful. It's also more helpful than changing your frame of mind in other ways, such as using alcohol or other medications (unless you've had a thorough check-up with a doctor who has prescribed anti-anxiety medications). It's true that alcohol can put you at ease and make starting a conversation much easier. The problem is that it also makes it much easier to take another drink, and another, and before you know it (or don't), you really are saying or doing something stupid. Unless you are absolutely confident (no pun intended) in your ability to control your drinking, avoid using this method as a solution to your social fears.

After you have reminded yourself that many other people there are feeling just as nervous as you are, try striking up a conversation. This is easier than it may seem--or at least, it does become easier with practice. One of the best ways to start a conversation is to ask questions. Then keep asking them. People like to talk about themselves, and it's also a subject that we all know well--so this avoids awkward moments trying to discuss the latest political issue or historical fact that someone may not be "up" on for whatever reason (life can get in the way sometimes).

The key to making this work, however, is to actually be interested in what the other person has to say. If you're constantly looking around, interrupting, or giving other signs that you're not interested, you'll quickly offend the other person, who may well walk away. Then you will find yourself in the situation you're trying to avoid.

When possible, take a buddy with you. Just be sure that you don't hide in the corner only talking to each other. Instead, use the "buddy system" to meet new people together. It's always easier when you have someone on your side. Simply knowing that at least one other person there likes you and is rooting for you can give you an instant confidence booster as you reach out to new people. Using the buddy method is also a great way to practice before you have to strike out on your own, which is likely to happen at least once in your lifetime. Feeling prepared will make you feel much more confident when you do find yourself in this scenario.

Forcing yourself to learn new social skills is scary. You are taking a risk. However, once you make the effort, even if it doesn't go as well as you'd hoped, you can feel better about yourself knowing you made the effort. Next time will go better. Give yourself credit for trying.

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Self Confident People Make a Mighty Nation

Self-confident people generate money

Self-confident people are filled with optimism and positive thoughts. They have an “I Can” attitude towards life and think it is possible to do great things. They are an asset to the organization they work for as they can be given tasks that demand greater responsibility and accountability.

They hence keep up the quality, which in turn helps their employers to reap greater profits and thus contribute to the well being of both employees and the employer. People like Bill Gates have contributed millions of dollars to the economies of their countries and have been involved in lots of philanthropic work worldwide as well.

Self-confident people generate jobs

Self-confident people are natural risk takers and have enough courage to pursue their innovative dreams. Self-confident people often work very hard for the dreams they believe in and often end up as becoming successful entrepreneurs. They create a lot of jobs for others by their innovative business ventures.

Though Edison faced a lot of difficulties as a child, his mother ensured that his self-confidence did not die. She made all efforts to encourage him and see him become successful. Today GE started by Edison is one of the world’s most competitive corporate organizations and is a hugely admired employer of thousands of people

Self-confident people make the nation self dependent

Entrepreneurs are a great catalyst of growth in any country. They do not sit idly waiting for the government reforms to come and pull them out. Instead they work out innovative ideas, which have commercial feasibility as well. They share the burden of the state by employing other people and giving them jobs. 

It saves the government lots of effort and money that could have been wasted in providing for the jobless youth. The money saved can then be routed to other developmental works for the benefit of all. The country does not need to borrow from the organisations like the World Bank and can deal with its developmental affairs independently.

Self-confident people present a better image of the nation

A nation of busy people conducting their day-to-day affairs is much better picture than having unemployed people taking on bad habits and creating a nuisance. Self-confident people are the face of any country, signifying optimism, hard work, determination and self-reliance. This helps the country to portray a picture of hope, dynamism, and growth to foreign investors who would like to conduct business activity and invest money in the country. This help create more and more jobs and a culture of hard work and achievement.

Self-confident people develop a habit of winning

Failure is an addiction and so is winning. It is just a matter of putting your efforts and thoughts in the right direction to become a winner and self-confident people do just that. A positive thought and self-confidence is what is needed to take an initiative, and a small achievement becomes the source of energy. This energy also gives a boost to the self-confidence of a person to take on a bigger leap and get successful. Thus every achievement breeds another initiative for yet another achievement!

Self-confident people help other people achieve their dreams

A person other than having the feeling of kindness and compassion for fellow human beings should also have enough resources or the ability to create resources to be able to help other people for the same. Self-confident people therefore are willing to give a helping hand to people and pull them up.

Self-confident people are an inspiration to others

Self-confident people succeed on both their professional and personal fronts. Self-confident people are respected and often spark others to perform as well and serve as a great inspiration for other people. People take a lesson from their struggles and their ability to turn failure into achievement.

Self-confident people strengthen the fabric of society

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Self-confident people in a way save the society from the devil by being busy and involved in constructive activities. People tend to get inspired from self-confident people and the general atmosphere becomes that of hard work and achievement. Such an environment is conducive for growth and development and self-confident people should be given every credit for the same. This overall movement raises the overall self-confidence of the nation and makes it more competitive and a confident participant in the world economic scenario.

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Self Confidence Makes You a Great Lover!

Love is a beautiful emotion, a gift of God, given to a chosen few. Not everybody get lots of love in his or her lifetime. However, many times lovers mess it up by not able to meet each other’s expectations by growing too possessive, by becoming overtly shy, by becoming unnecessarily skeptical and what not!

Most of the time, the culprit is within ourselves making us see things much bigger and magnified than they actually are and makes us overreact to events that could have been easily avoided. It is much easier to lose than to build something – especially when it comes to the matters of the heart.

An ignorant and careless person is vulnerable to losing a lot, including his or her life partner as well. This article tells you some simple things that you can remember to help keep you from hurting your partner and keep your love life blossoming.  Here are some habits of self-confident lovers.

Self-confident lovers are not jealous

If you are jealous of your partner, this is a sure indication that the foundations of love are not deep enough to withstand the wear and tear of time. Self confident lovers consider their partners as an extension of their own selves and feel happy if somebody has something good to say about their partners. There is no “yours” or “mine” in their relationship. It’s always “ours,” which forms the basis of their love.

Most people get embarrassed or skeptical, or annoyed when someone makes a remark that “Your girl is so beautiful” or “Don’t you think your boyfriend has a talent of impressing girls around.” However, a confident man would say, “Yes. I know she is so beautiful and we are proud to be in love,” while a self-confident girl will shoot back – “Yes. He impressed me too!” Remember that your individual qualities now are a combined “quality pool” belonging to you both, and both partners must treat is as an asset. This is only possible when both of you are confident of each other’s love and commitment.

Self-confident lovers are more forgiving

Since self-confident people can maintain a cool and calm composure in the times of crisis, they are better at analyzing situations and are able to put themselves in their partner’s shoes. This way, they get their partner’s viewpoint and understand their behavior. In many instances, it happens that certain behavior of our partner annoys us or makes us skeptical. Lack of self-confidence can also make us think negatively. However, self-confident lovers believe in the policy of “forgive and forget” and can move on.

Self-confident lovers make their partner more secure and comfortable

In a relationship, looks do matter, but then the characteristics that matter even more are a sensible and rational nature, sense of humor, ability to handle tough situations and more. Self-confident lovers are the best places to look for these attributes. Their self confidence is contagious and they are promising professionals as well.

They enjoy respect and camaraderie, and nurture positive and constructive thoughts. They seem to have the ability to push away problems and provide for their family. In this world where genuine love seems to be an urgent need to calm humanity, a self-confident lover makes us feel secure, comfortable and this life seems worth living for!

Self-confident lovers give their partner a great gift – the gift of independence!

Sometimes love rather than liberate us, actually binds us. So much so that a possessive partner would like to have all the details of our lives. Who are the people you work with? Who was that “Daniel” who gave you a call at 7 in the morning? Why do you want to have your personal car? Why do you have to wear makeup every time you go out? Why are you wearing this dress at this hour…and so on!

Love, which was once the most beautiful emotion in our lives, which seemed to fill us with hope and enthusiasm, now seems to drain out all the energy from us. You feel as if you are bound to someone, answerable to someone and tethered to the wall with limited mobility. Love does not seem much more than slavery. Self-confident lovers realize the importance of independence. They let their partner fly and soar great heights, because they know that at the end of the day, it is to their arms their partner will return!

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Self Confidence in Parenting

There's a reason why so many people say it's the hardest job you'll ever have--raising a child. It's challenging, exciting, nerve-wracking, and one of the most amazing things you'll ever experience. Raising a child will put you through every emotion possible, including self-doubt.

Along with the joy of raising a child can come the fear that you're going to do something wrong, create permanent psychological damage, or a whole list of other things that may not go quite right. But relax--keeping a few simple things in mind can help raise your confidence as a parent.

First, know that you will make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. If you keep this in mind, you can take a great deal of pressure off yourself. Do your best, of course, but understand that there will be bumps along the road--possibly quite a few of them.

Rather than trying to be a perfect parent, do what you can to prepare for those bumps. Understand where your child is in development and learn what to expect; then expect the unexpected. Also remember that the worst may not happen. Your child may not go through the "terrible twos" or be a reckless teenager. Remember that all children are different. Try not to compare your child or your parenting to others or you may cause yourself unnecessary stress.

Don't believe everything the experts say. Sure, many experts have experience working with hundreds or even thousands of children. Listen to what they have to say, but don't take it as the final say. You know your child better than anyone, and if a piece of advice doesn't seem right for your child, trust your instincts. You're probably right. What may have worked for others may not work for you, and that's okay.

Family and friends are also likely to provide you with ample advice, some of which may be useful and some of which may not. Try to avoid the temptation of giving in to pressure from others if you feel that it is not right for your family situation. This can be difficult, particularly in close relationships. But establishing those boundaries because you know what's best for your child will help increase your confidence simply by knowing that you can determine what's best for you and stand up for it.

Spend time with your child. This may sound like old advice, but more and more studies show that children whose parents show an interest in them are better equipped to deal with some of life's challenges. This also helps you know your child better, which will in turn help you make better choices. It works well for everyone involved.

Seek help when you need it. This may sound contradictory to the earlier statements, but it's actually not. When you know your child and his or her needs well, you have a much better understanding of what advice to accept and what to reject. If you are dealing with a difficult or serious situation, and feel that it is out of your control, it's time to seek outside help.

This does not mean you are a failure. Rather, it shows that you are confident enough in yourself and your parenting to recognize that you may not have all the answers. Certain situations, such as out of control behavior or drug abuse require outside intervention. It's okay to ask for help when you need it, so don't put yourself down if this is the case.

Finally, remember that you are doing the best you can at any given moment. Life doesn't go smoothly all the time, and this is often most obvious in parenting. It's okay to make mistakes and even admit them. And when your children see you do this, you'll show them that a confident person is not perfect and that everyone makes mistakes from time to time. This in turn will help your children feel more confident when they make mistakes, too.

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Self Confidence Counseling

To lose your self confidence is to lose your very fiber of trust in yourself.  Instead of a person able to freely make sound judgment calls and possesses excellent decision making skills, individuals that lack self confidence are constantly second guessing themselves and often unable to make even the simplest decision without gnawing worry and concern. 

If you have found yourself to be slipping into the pit of low self confidence, do not worry, there is hope!  Instead of berating yourself over poor actions that occurred in the past, change your future.  Seek out counseling that will enable you to rebuild and maintain your self confidence at unparalleled levels.

The first step to self confidence counseling is making the commitment to seek out and attend these helpful sessions.  Whether private or in a group setting, this counseling can be the spark that changes your life.  You may enter the sessions as a self doubting, passive individual, but you will leave full of hope and optimism with the ability to totally trust your own actions and judgments.  Before you enter counseling, consider any potential obstacles in your current life. 

Perhaps your spouse, family member, friend, or co-worker has lowered your self confidence and may be detrimental to your counseling.  Perhaps you have experienced low self confidence since childhood and need to break the cycle imposed upon you by your parents or guardians. 

Maybe you are in a difficult situation at your job, with employees, bosses, or colleagues constantly tearing away at your self confidence.  Whatever the case, you should be prepared to make the commitment to begin a new way of life in order to rebuild your self confidence.  Even the smallest changes will help you in this process.  Being in the right frame of mind before you begin will assist you to your goal in a quicker, more positive manner.

Once you have determined to seek counseling, begin researching viable options.  The World Wide Web is a great source of information on counseling spots in your city or town.  If you feel entering counseling will be too overwhelming for you or your schedule does not allow it, the Internet is also a great tool that enables you to virtually meet and discuss with individuals from all over the world. 

There are many websites, forums, and chat rooms devoted to individuals working to rebuild their self confidence.  You can join these sites anonymously if you are worried about others finding out your private information, but still have the capability to begin some type of counseling.  Many individuals have a strong, confidence façade, but lack the same components on the inside.  If you find yourself in this situation and do not want the world to know you have a problem with your self confidence, this method of virtual counseling is perfect for you.

Traditional counseling tends to be the most effective method of rebuilding your dwindling self confidence.  Universities, hospitals, churches, civic groups, and even local organizations offer counseling of one sort of another.  You may be interested in joining a support group in order to interact with others that share your feelings of doubt and distrust. 

Many individuals find themselves too shy or ashamed for one reason or another to join a support group, or any other type of group counseling, immediately.  If you find yourself in this boat, consider private counseling first, then graduating on to group counseling.  If money is a concern, it should be known that group counseling is usually a great deal cheaper—if not free—than private, one-on-one counseling.

What ever form of counseling you decide upon, enter into it with seriousness and determination.  If you maintain a positive attitude and strive towards achieving your goals, your self confidence is guaranteed to drastically improve.

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How to Build Self-Esteem After a Verbally Abusive Relationship

When you have been in a verbally abusive relationship, you often end up "owning" some of the mental images and ideas that you were told about yourself by your partner. These thoughts can begin to sink in and affect your everyday behavior; therefore, it is important to do some self-analysis to distinguish truth from lies and your thoughts from your partner's thoughts. Healing takes time, practice and patience.

Instructions

Journaling

1 Try free association writing first, writing whatever comes to your mind. Freely write, and do not censor your thoughts or worry about things like punctuation or grammar. You are purging yourself of the thoughts in your head in the safest of places.
2 List specific thoughts you have regarding your relationship. Dig deep into the nuances and sources of those thoughts by asking yourself leading questions. As an example, you may often find yourself thinking, "I was so stupid for ever dating him." You can ask yourself and answer questions such as, "Why did I start dating him, and what honestly attracted me to him at first?" "When did I start seeing him change?" "Where did this word 'stupid' come from, and why am I applying it to myself?"
The point of this exercise is to gain awareness and understanding of the abusive thoughts that are now part of your thought-process, to separate what is truth from what is a lie and to regain control of your mind.
3 Write down all of your fears. Pinpoint those that give you the most anxiety, and allow yourself to explore the roots of those fears. Analyze them by continuing to ask yourself, "If that happens or is true, then what?" Here is what this might look like:
"Nobody will ever date me." Then what? "Then I will never get married." Then what? "Then I will be single forever." Then what? "Then I will watch my friends living happily with their families." Then what? "Then everyone will feel sorry for me and invite me to events out of guilt." And so on.
The interesting thing about fears is that the less we acknowledge them, the more control they have over us. Allow yourself to investigate your fears, and you will regain control.

Rebuilding Healthy Relationships

4 Think of the individuals in your life who offer you support. You may need to have an honest conversation with these people and discuss the events of your abusive relationship. Perhaps your relationship with this friend or family member was damaged by your relationship with your ex as well. Allow this individual to express her feelings as you express yours.
5 Find a therapist who understands the nature of verbal abuse and allows you to express yourself clearly and thoroughly. Good therapists will ask you leading questions, will not judge you, will focus on you and your needs and will help you solve your own problems rather than only giving advice.
6 Be honest about past abuse with significant future relationships as well. Do so in your own time and only if you feel safe and in control. As you grow closer to people, this will help them to understand you more deeply and will shed some light on some of your fears and insecurities. Especially when you have a healthy intimate relationship in the future, being honest about your past will help to separate fears from realities.

Focus on Truth

7 Cut off all ties with the person or people who have abused you. You do not deserve to surround yourself with anyone who is harmful to you, lies to you or constantly brings you down.
8 Counter any lies that may creep up into your mind with a truth. When you think, "I am a lazy slob," tell yourself, "No, I am hard-working and diligent."
9 Have trusted confidants tell you repeatedly what your good qualities are.
10 Do activities that make you feel your best --- working out, participating in sports or hobbies, volunteering, visiting old friends or doing work around the house.

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Top Guide Of How to Have Self-Confidence

Self-confidence can drastically change quality of life. So don't waste anytime hiding in the shadows!

Instructions

1 Think about what makes you unique and special. What is important to you? Think about people you care most about, activities you enjoy doing, goals for the future. What topics do you enjoy discussing? For people to find you interesting, you must figure out what makes you unique.
2 As with anything, practice makes perfect! To start, go somewhere that you will be in a social situation wbut won't run into anyone you know. You will feel less inhibited knowing that no one you know has to know anything you do.
3 Initiate conversations with other. Get used to striking up conversations. Almost anything can be a conversation starter. Compliments work well since, well, who doesn't like to be complimented? Just make sure you are sincere. Another good conversation starter is to point our something you have in common. Of course you don't know the person yet, so things you have in common can include waiting in the same long line, ordering the same drink, etc.
4 Once you are making small talk with someone, segue into something with a little more substance. Try and find something you have in common with the other person and develop that topic. Ask open-ended questions like "What do you think about..."
5 If you need help turning on the self-confidence, pretend you are someone else. Think of someone you admire and pretend you are them around new people. Even if you are terrified on the inside, no one will know if you seem confident on the outside. Self-confidence will become natural very quickly once you realize what you are capable of.
6 Participate in activities you might be afraid to. Have you always wanted to play tennis? Join a tennis league. Interested in politics? Volunteer for a political campaign or take a political science class. Whatever you choose, stick with it. You may feel uncomfortable in the beginning, but if you stick with your activity, you will become comfortable and realize you can do anything!
7 Stand up straight and keep a smile on your face. It will make you more approachable, and will even make you feel better.
8 Remember to be true to yourself. Having opinions, even if they are different from the person you are talking to, make you interesting. Plus, if you can't be yourself around someone, you probably won't want to spend much time with them.
9 Keep "practicing" self-confidence--eventually it will just come naturally!

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Self-Confidence in Children Improvements

Most parents want to help their children be happy and self-confident. As a parent who is striving to raise self-confident children, it is important to help children understand their strengths and weakness. Then a parent can help build on the strengths and improve the weaknesses. How a child feels has a direct impact on how a child behaves.

Instructions

1 Realize that any personal problems you have will affect your parenting style and ability. If you have issues in your past that are continuing to bother you, do what you can to resolve them. Seek professional help if necessary.
2 Play with your child. When you prioritize your child you are telling her that she is important to you. When a child feels valued and important, her behavior will naturally improve.
3 Praise your child for successes and accomplishments. Look for opportunities to draw attention to good deeds. Take opportunities to say thank you to your child when he does something nice.
4 Notice when your child makes efforts to succeed. Positive reinforcement of efforts will encourage her to continue to strive for successes.
5 Pay attention to your child when she talks to you. Make eye contact to show her that you are listening. This tells her that you value her and what she thinks. Lay this groundwork while your child is young so that as she grows older she will continue to know that you are interested in how she feels and what she thinks.
6 Address your child by his name when you are communicating with him. When people hear their name spoken, it communicates interest, concern and love.
7 Notice any special talents your child may possess and encourage the development of these abilities. Encourage your child to improve skills and continue to improve. Be aware of maintaining an appropriate balance between protecting your child from failure and pushing your child too hard.
8 Watch school influences carefully. Be involved in your child's school life so that you are aware of any negative situations (such as bullying or aggressiveness). A child with strong self confidence will know that being bullied is not acceptable. However if a child is not as confident, he may allow himself to become a victim.
9 Give your child household responsibilities. Requiring children to help maintain a family home is very effective at building self-confidence. Household duties help a child feel useful and valuable.
10 Show your children how to express negative feelings appropriately without becoming abusive or out of control. Children need to be taught how to express feelings that are uncomfortable and should not be encouraged to bottle up these feelings. However, children also need to know how to appropriately express feelings of anger or hurt without losing control or hurting others or property.

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The Key To Successful Enhancing Your Self-Confidence

Low self-confidence can affect all areas of your life, including your health. Life is a series of ups and downs, and some people handle low points better than others. Self-confident people stand a much better chance of succeeding than people who struggle with low self-esteem. Many factors affecting your self-confidence may be out of your control; however, there are many things you can do to become more self-confident.

Instructions

Instructions

1 Make realistic goals for yourself. While challenging goals are great, do not set your expectations too high; you want to be able to achieve your goals. Failing anything you have set out to achieve will be a major blow to your self-confidence, so be kind to yourself.
2 Try positive self-talk, give yourself a pep talk or motivational speech while you are facing a mirror. Poor self-confidence often stems from worrying too much about what others think of us and feeling inferior to those people. Tell yourself you are just as good as anyone else, and celebrate your achievements and concentrate on the successes in your life instead of the small faults. Retraining the way you think can take time, especially as negative thoughts often occur naturally.
3 Make decisions and be assertive when dealing with the consequences of your decisions. Do not be afraid to face your problems, avoiding them can have a negative effect on your self-confidence. Instead, face your worries and make a decision to work things out.
4 Work out regularly. Being in good physical shape will improve your self-confidence. Find the discipline you need to exercise, even if it is only for a small amount of time each day. Feeling energized and being in shape can help you from feeling insecure and unattractive.
5 Focus on the positives in your life and the changes you have made for the better. While what other people think may be of some importance to you, the only opinion that matters is your own. Spend less time trying to please other people and concentrate on making positive changes for you.

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The Benefits Of Self-Esteem Builder Activities

Self-esteem is an important emotion in everyday life. It can help a person complete routine tasks with more confidence as well as give a general sense of well-being. If you suffer from low self-esteem, incorporate exercises into your daily routine that will boost your confidence and have you feeling better about yourself in no time. Exercises for self-esteem can include activities that you enjoy and that give you an idea of your accomplishments or enhance a positive outlook about yourself.

Create a Scrapbook About Yourself

A scrapbook can be a way to remind yourself of your accomplishments, friends and family who love you and other activities that bring happiness in everyday life. You can include pictures of events where you found yourself surrounded by company you enjoy, such as a family party, or pictures that showcase things you are proud of, such as a graduation or personal accomplishment. Go back to this scrapbook every time you feel lacking in self-esteem. Creating a book entirely about yourself can enhance your self-confidence by showing you that your life is full of events and people that are meaningful to you and that you had a hand in creating. Sometimes all you need to pick up your confidence is a reminder of how well you put your own life together.

Make a List

Listing your positive personal traits can help boost your self-esteem and confidence when you are feeling down. Start your list with a headline, such as "I Like Myself Because ... " or "I Am Good at ..., " and then continue the list with traits that fit this category. An example might be, "I am good at completing deadlines, being friendly and having patience." Carry this list in your wallet or purse, and pull it out when you need a lift. You can also have friends and family add positive things to this list to remind yourself of how others support you.

Learn Something New

Learning something new can be a self-esteem booster. This hobby can be anything from learning to cook a new dish to how to fold an origami crane. Often you can find classes at local colleges or universities that are made for people who are looking to learn new hobbies. Choose something that is obtainable for you and that you find to be a relaxing experience. Including family members or close friends in your learning experience can also be a way to create a safe and supportive environment for yourself while you try something new.

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Building a Three-Year-Old's Self Esteem

It is important for children to feel good about themselves. Children with healthy self-esteem are more likely to become productive adults. Parents play a key role in building their child's self-esteem. According to California family therapist Jane Nelsen, in order to have good self-esteem, children need to have a feeling of belonging, a belief in their abilities and the knowledge that they can make valuable contributions.

Instructions

1 Show your child that you love him. Give him hugs, kisses and cuddle time. Get down to his level and make eye contact with him. Spend time with him. Treat all of your children fairly; don't play favorites.
2 Take the time to listen to your child and teach him words to express his feelings. Allow him to ask questions and do your best to answer them. Talk about difficulties that you face and how you resolve them.
3 Set boundaries for behavior and be consistent. Establish routines for how and when things are done in your home. Knowing what to expect will give your child a sense of security.
4 Deal with your frustrations without yelling or calling your child "bad." Instead, explain that the child has made a poor choice. Correct your child and impose logical consequences when necessary; for example, throwing a tantrum when asked to turn off the television may result in the child losing his television privilege for the rest of the day. Make sure that you can live with the consequence you impose.
5 Teach your child life skills, such as getting dressed or setting the table. Give your child the opportunity to try new things on his own. Allow him to overcome small difficulties without stepping in. Give him opportunities to explore and develop his unique talents.
6 Praise your child for specific things that he is doing well. Tell your spouse in front of your child about good things that your child has done.
7 Allow your child to make choices between two things that are acceptable to you. For example, ask, "Would you like to wear your red sweater or your blue sweater?" rather than, "What would you like to wear today?"
8 Give your child the freedom to make mistakes sometimes. Let your child know that everyone makes mistakes, including you. Help your child think of what he can do differently next time.

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