How to Build Your Child's Self-Esteem

Building your child's self-esteem can be quite a balancing act. After all, we have to be careful not to build it up too much so that a child never accepts personal responsibility for his or her own actions. Children who have think that the entire world revolves around them present problems in their relationships. So, it can be tricky. Nevertheless, we can take steps to help our children take pride in themselves and feel confident, assured, as see that people enjoy being around them.

Instructions

1 Raising children with high self-esteem is a matter of taking time to get to know your children and to show them you are there to spend time with them and to make sure they have what they need. Sometimes getting to know your children means dropping everything to listen to them when they are ready to talk. Other times, it means creating time to be together so that you can get to know each other.
There are ways to nurture your child's self-esteem and build it constructively and lovingly:
2 Make eye contact, smile, and try to relate to your child as an individual and not as an extension of yourself. Show him or her through your actions that time with them is time well spent. Did you have fun? Tell your child. Are you happy you chose this activity with your child over something else you could have been doing. Let your child know how you are glad you didn't miss this time together
3 Schedule Time for them to be with you when you are at your best-
The whole day can fly by without meaningful time together. If this is how you feel about your day, schedule time to be with your child. The greatest gift you can give your child is time with you.Finding out what is going on with your child so that you can be supportive of them during his or her school years is so important that you might even intentionally arrange times together rather than waiting for the occasion to arise on its own. If you have more than one child, find ways to have one-on-one time with each of your children individually. You will get information that you would never get otherwise.
4 Build your child's self-esteem by being supportive of him or her. Being supportive means:
a)trying to listen without making an immediate response.
b) being careful of how you sound so that you do not come off sounding judgmental.
c) asking specific questions based on what you do know about their lives rather than asking vague, general questions.
d) trying to relate to what they are saying without turning it into a lecture of how it was when you were that age.
e) being careful about your facial expressions and body language so that the nonverbal messages you send are not contrary to how you want to be.
5 Your children want to feel valued and this is a way to show them they are important to you.
Remember, though, that because you value your child and your child is important to you, be sure to step up to your calling as a parent when it is time for discipline. It isn't easy sometimes, but, because you care, you may have to take a firm stand on establishing expectations.

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Building a 10 Year Old's Confidence

Ten year olds are beginning to deal with issues such as puberty and peer pressure. Children may also encounter bullying, adding pressure into the life of an already insecure 10 year old. All of these issues can reduce a child's confidence. It is important for caregivers, parents and other adults to help 10-year-olds maintain confidence during this turbulent time in life.

Instructions

1 Demonstrate confidence. Children learn through example, and even if it seems the 10 year old is not paying attention, he or she notices when adults put themselves down. Avoid letting children overhear any lack of confidence.
2 Avoid labels. Even well-meaning or true labels may have negative connotations to a child who is just beginning to figure himself out. Use the child's name instead of a trait, such as "asthmatic" or "poor reader." Using the child's name helps them remember they are unique and special, which will help build confidence.
3 Spend time with the child. This makes a child feel special and he or she may open up to you in conversation. The activity doesn't matter, as long as you allow the child to lead conversations concerning more personal issues.
4 Assign the child responsibilities. A 10 year old often wonders what she is good at doing, and what makes her stand out among her peers. When a child completes a chore at home or fulfills a responsibility, there is a sense of accomplishment. Children who have responsibilities have a higher level of confidence (Dr. Sears, point 11).
5 Talk to the child about his strengths. Ten year olds notice when kids are better than them at certain activities. Discover where the child's strengths lie, talk to him about them and encourage him to participate in activities where he shines.

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Advantages Of Self-Esteem Group Activities for Young People

Building self-esteem among children and young people can be a fun and interesting task. Although many children do not suffer from low self-esteem, it is quite common to be self-conscious among schoolmates or other children who have different qualities and hobbies. Self-esteem group activities can boost a child's self-esteem, while fostering new friendships.

Inspirational Posters

Have the group make inspirational posters to hang in a classroom or to take home and hang in their bedrooms. Gather art supplies, such as posterboard, markers, paint, colored paper, tape and glue. Ask the group to compile a list of inspirational quotes, such as "Because life is a gift, all of us are gifted." Once the children have come up with the list, they can decorate the posters with the inspirational sayings.

Self-Esteem Capes

Give each person a large piece of paper, approximately 4-feet wide by 4-feet tall. This paper will serve as a cape, so you will need to cut a hole in it for the head. Once the hole has been cut, ask the child to write his name on the cape in big, bold letters. Then, have the children line their capes up against a wall. Give each child a marker and ask her to go to each cape and write on it two or three nice compliments about that person. This activity is a great self-esteem booster for children and it helps them feel close to the other children as well.

"All About Me" Collage

Ask the children to go through a large stack of magazines and cut out pictures of anything that relates positively to their life. They may cut out pictures of their favorite foods, sports or hobbies. They might cut out a picture of a celebrity they idolize or a career they yearn for. After the pictures have been selected, ask the children to make a collage with their pictures. Once the collages are completed, allow each child to present his collage to the group. Not only will this help strengthen the sense of self, but it may promote new friendships as children learn what they have in common with each other.

Good vs. Bad List

Ask each child to write a list of 10 things she likes about herself; this is the "good list." Then, ask the child to write a list of five things she does not like about herself; this is the "bad list." After the children have completed their lists, have them share the lists with another child. Ask the two children to work together and come up with ways they can change the things on their "bad lists." For example, if one child says that he does not like that he can't throw a baseball all the way to second base, a possible solution would be to practice with friends or join a baseball team. You will often notice that once children talk about their problems with others and find valid solutions, they become more self-assured and confident.

It's All In A Name

Give each child a large piece of paper and have them write their first name vertically on the paper. Next to each letter, ask them to write compliments about themselves that start with that letter. For example, a girl named Sarah could write: "Sweet, artistic, runs fast, awesome, helpful." You may also let them do this with their middle and last name if you choose. Once they are done, allow them to present the posters to each other. They can hang the posters up in a classroom or bedroom for a constant reminder of these compliments.

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What Is the Meaning of Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is a closely related socio-psychological concept related to self-esteem. It can manifest itself in a number of ways, some deemed positive, others negative. The term's first recorded usage was in 1653.

Definition

To have self-confidence is to have confidence in one's self. Confidence in this regard is a state of certainty, arrogant or otherwise. The phrase doesn't necessarily equate to a belief in in an ability to do all things, but rather, an assurance that someone is capable and and comfortable with herself.

Self Esteem

A natural extension of self-confidence is self-esteem, a word which means that the holder has a realistic respect for and favorable impression of herself. Generally speaking, most agree that a possessing self-esteem is ideal. However, self-confidence is the more boisterous of the two terms, and when used, can very often refer to another, less ideal variation.

Excessive Self-Confidence

Self-confidence can often refer to a confidence in one's self, thought excessive, inflated or otherwise unwarranted. This is hubris and is the mirror image of conceit or arrogance. In fact, the Oxford English Dictionary defines self-confidence as "confidence in oneself; often in an unfavourable sense, arrogant or impudent reliance on one's own powers."

Hubris

Hubris is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as "presumption, originating towards the gods; pride, excessive self-confidence." Here, excessive self-confidence is equated with the belief that one thinks they are god-like in some way. Needless to say, such showings of confidence are often ridiculed or otherwise frowned upon.

Lack of Self-Confidence

At the opposite end is a total lack of self-confidence, also deemed to be detrimental. Shyness and a fear of failure are the most common signs of lacking self-confidence, but it can be manifested in other ways as well.

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How to Tell If it Is Depression, Anxiety or Low Self-Esteem?

Feelings of depression, anxiety and low self-esteem can overlap, and sometimes it's hard to tell if it's a serious disorder or if someone has just had a bad day. A person may have low-self esteem, along with conditions of depression and anxiety disorder. To better understand these disorders, and how serious they are, you can learn more about each and then compare them to your feelings and symptoms.

Instructions

1 Learn about self-esteem. Self-esteem is defined as confidence in and respect for yourself. According to the National Association for Self-Esteem, people who have high self-esteem are respectful of themselves and others, have integrity, are self-motivated and more. The association points out a link between low self-esteem and addiction problems, depression, violence and other problems.
2 Learn about the difference between low self-esteem and depression. Unlike low-self esteem, major depression is a specific disorder that is diagnosed by doctors and therapists. The Mayo Clinic describes depression as an illness that is mental and physical, that can make people feel like they don't want to go on living. Some of the many symptoms include lack of interest in everyday activities, feeling sad and hopeless, crying for no obvious reason, thoughts of suicide, problems sleeping and more. For a longer list, see the link at the end of this article for Mayo Clinic.
Depression can be treated with medication, therapy and treatment plans, or specialized plans of action created together by care providers and patients. Depression and low self-esteem are related, and many who have one may suffer from the other.
3 Learn about anxiety. Some anxiety or nervousness is normal, but if it begins to effect everyday functioning, a person could have generalized anxiety disorder, or another type of anxiety condition, according to doctors at the Mayo Clinic. Some symptoms of the generalized disorder include constant worrying, restlessness, rapid heartbeat and more. To see a complete list of signs, and to read more about anxiety, see the Mayo Clinic links at the end of the article.
4 Consider that you may have a combination of these conditions. It's possible to have both major depression and anxiety disorder, according to a Mayo Clinic psychiatrist, Dr. Daniel Hall-Flavin. One disorder may cause or complicate the other. Fortunately, the treatment for each is similar, and getting help for one will often help alleviate the other, explains Hall-Flavin. A person may also have low self-esteem without these conditions, or any combination of the three.
5 Seek out treatment. Only health professionals can accurately diagnose mental health problems and disorders. Once a diagnosis is made, a treatment plan can be set up. Treatment for both depression and anxiety disorder may include medication, and/or a choice of several types of therapy. Therapists can also help individuals work on low self-esteem, even if no mental health disorder is present. To find treatment options in your area, ask your regular physician, contact your insurance company for a list of doctors and therapists within your plan coverage, or try using an online locator, like Psychology Today's "Find a Therapist" tool. See the link for this tool at the end of this article.

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How to Build Self Confidence with Training

It is possible to build self-confidence. According to a writer on the Mind Tools website, much of a person's self-esteem and confidence comes from her relationships with others. Some of the patterns of transactions with others are set at an early age and tend to recreate themselves in later life. For example, a person who was undermined by a dominant parent as a child might find it very difficult as an adult to deal with people in authority without again behaving the way she did as a youngster. This, in turn, gives the other person an unhealthy degree of power over her and may result in a bullying relationship that spoils a work situation. However, much of this behavior can be changed. The first step comes when a person recognizes a lack of confidence in herself.

Instructions

1 Write down a list of your achievements. Keep this achievement log close and refer to it often, particularly when you are feeling low in confidence. Write down a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Pay particular attention to your strengths. Confide in a good friend and ask her to help you with this. Look for patterns in your relationships at work. If you frequently feel bullied and undermined, look for patterns, then explore different options you could have chosen when interacting with the other person.
2 Apply for a place in a reputable assertiveness training course. Being assertive is not the same as being bossy or aggressive; rather, it is about finding a healthier way of dealing with stressful situations and difficult people. If you learn how to respond differently, a bully may no longer get any satisfaction from baiting you. You will also feel a lot better about yourself when you have responded differently to a situation that you would have previously found difficult.
3 Develop other skills. Most people have a talent that they often neglect because of work and family pressures. Doing what you are good at will make you feel better about yourself. Learn relaxation techniques and enroll in a yoga course. Yoga teaches control and calmness, and can improve your ability to deal with stress.

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Classes to Help with Self-Confidence for Girls 8 Years or Older

Girls at around 8 or 9 years old may start to experience influences on their self-confidence and self-esteem from sources outside their family, including from peers at school and the mass media. Fortunately, there are ways parents can help their little girl remain self-confident or raise her self-confidence by putting her in different classes.

Etiquette Classes

The study of etiquette can help raise a young girl's confidence and self-esteem. Etiquette is the customs or rules which determine appropriate behavior in society. Etiquette classes or finishing schools teach girls everything from conversation skills to walking gracefully. The skills they learn not only show girls appropriate ways to behave, but also give them a sense of self-confidence about their behavior.

Gymnastics Classes

Gymnastics is a physical sport option for girls. While it starts as young as one or two years old in some gymnastics facilities, the classes for girls who are eight years old or older often put a focus on movement and body awareness as well as physical activity. This body awareness approach helps girls not only learn to move with grace, but also helps them accept their body, which improves their self-confidence.

Self-Defense Classes

Girls who take self-defense classes are not only better able to defend themselves in the event of an attack or emergency situation, but are also more self-confident. Self-defense classes may be available through schools, youth centers or community centers. As a result of self-defense classes, girls learn to be more aware of their surroundings and their intuitions, which results in more self-confidence. Learn Self Defense Moves, a website dedicated to self defense, points out that self-confidence comes not only from learning the defense moves but also from learning a new skill and becoming proficient in the skills.

All-Girl Classes in School

Girls' self-confidence can plummet in co-ed schools for a variety of reasons, from peer considerations like wanting to fit in with the popular girls rather than emphasizing academics, to finding that boys gain more attention from teachers in their classes. The National Association for Single Sex Public Education points out that students can be more successful in all-girls' schools if teachers implement the program appropriately. All-girl classrooms allow girls to move at their own pace and allow teachers to incorporate teaching styles designed around the ways girls think and learn. The NASSPE reported a study by Stetson University in Florida researchers that showed girls' scores on the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test were 59 percent proficient in co-ed classes and 75 percent proficient in girls-only classes.

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Learn About Self-Confidence Techniques

The economy is not the only thing that's depressed these days. Having too little self-esteem can have a negative impact on all areas of a person's life, including work, parenting, friendships and intimate partnerships. Those with healthy self-confidence are likely to be more productive at work, parent more effectively and have more satisfying personal relationships. Learn how to cultivate and maintain a healthy level of self-regard by applying a few key methods.

Know Thyself

In order to have self-confidence, you must first have an established sense of self. Who are you deep down? What are your needs and desires? Explore your inner landscape and really get to know yourself. How has your history shaped your values in the present? Who are you when no one else is looking? Traditional therapy, journaling, or self-help literature can help you to connect to your inner self.

Support Network

Surround yourself with people who accept you just as you are without judgment or ridicule. True friends are people who make you feel good about yourself and support your individuality. Strive to accept yourself unconditionally, the way your best friends and loved ones do.

Don't Compare

Comparing yourself to others is one surefire way to bring down your self-esteem. Humans appear to have a built-in mechanism for comparison; we always want what the other person has. The next time you are comparing yourself against someone who you believe is smarter, better looking, more popular or more successful, bring the focus back to yourself. After all, the only true competition that exists is with yourself.

Deepen Your Spirituality

One of the deepest and most fulfilling sources of self-confidence is a connection to a higher power. If you have a faith or a spiritual belief, consider deepening it at this time. Get involved in your spiritual community, communicate more with your higher power and engage in regular prayer. It can be tremendously satisfying to remind yourself of your value in the eyes of your creator.

Affirmations

Affirmations are positive messages about yourself that can help to liberate you from low self-esteem. These messages can include, "You are beautiful," "You are perfect just as you are," "You are magnificent." Practice writing affirmations, and then post them all around your house in places you are likely to see them every day, such as your bedroom mirror and your refrigerator.

Sever Ties

Get rid of friends who are negative or critical toward you. If you generally feel bad about yourself after spending time with someone, this relationship is probably not healthy to your self-confidence. Be bold and sever ties with people who just bring you down. You'll be glad you did.

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How to Build a Kindergartener's Self Confidence

As a child is about to start kindergarten, she may feel some anxiety about being away from home during the day, meeting new people and wondering if the teacher will be nice, among other things. This is completely normal and shows that your child is processing her feelings about the milestone. You can help your child's transition to school by helping to build confidence. Self-confidence helps children to focus more on learning what is required at school, and will make building friendships easier.

Instructions

1 Praise your child for good deeds. When she helps you with a chore or cleans up her toys, make her aware of your approval. Say things like, "Wow, I'm really glad you cleaned your room. It looks great." or "You are a great artist, I love your drawing."
2 Encourage your child to try new things. If your child is interested in a new hobby, encourage her to practice and enjoy it. Extra-curricular activities such as sports and music help build confidence in a child's abilities.
3 Listen to your child with interest as she tells you a story or explains her needs and wants. Your undivided attention can make a child feel important and relevant.
4 Help your child to fit in with her future classmates. Don't rush out and buy the latest sneakers, but offer choices during the school shopping process. A child who is comfortable in the clothing she wears to school has one less thing to feel out of place about.

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Understanding The Signs & Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem in Women

Women with low self-esteem feel worthless, lack confidence and find it difficult to be assertive. They may feel victimized and may easily take things personally. Probably the most prominent sufferer of low self-esteem was Princess Diana, who was constantly criticized by her family as a child and grew up feeling inappropriate. At first the average-looking woman might not understand why a beautiful woman would feel so bad about herself, but self-esteem depends on emotional and psychological factors and not on physical traits. Identifying signs and symptoms of low self-esteem helps women take appropriate action to improve their lives.

Poor Self-Image

No matter how beautiful a woman may be, if she has low self-esteem she will feel unattractive. The woman might not take care of her appearance (not brush her hair or teeth for example) because she doesn't feel worthy of taking care of herself. In turn she might indeed become less attractive this way, resulting in a vicious cycle of feeling less and less self-worth.

Blaming Others for Negative Outcomes

Women with low self-esteem often believe that others are to blame for their mishaps, and they complain about their situation as though they have no control over their own lives. These women might feel as though they are victims, when in fact they have the power to change their situations.

Taking Blame for Partners' Unhappiness

Though women with low self-esteem may resist taking responsibility for their own mishaps, they might also blame themselves for their partners' unhappiness. It is not uncommon for these women to settle for partners who don't treat them well because that's all they believe they deserve; but regardless of whom they partner with, they'll believe that they're to blame for any shortcomings in the relationship. When the relationship fails they'll take the blame for that too, reinforcing their beliefs that they're not worthy of love, and continuing the cycle.

Eating Disorders

By definition, women with low self-esteem never feel "good enough." Some might try to improve themselves in ways that do not address their problems but give the women the idea that they're making an effort to improve their well-being. One way is by losing weight to fit into the supposedly perfect mold society has come up with. In short, women with low self-esteem may imagine that if they look like supermodels all their problems will be solved, as such they may develop eating disorders. The problem is that they will never feel good enough regardless of their physical appearance, because the problem is within.

On the other hand an obese woman with low self-esteem might in fact punish herself for being overweight by over-eating, therefore gaining more weight and reinforcing her negative thoughts about herself.

Other Signs

Other signs and symptoms of low self-esteem are inability to accept compliments, depression, anxiety, negativity and setting standards that are impossibly high.

Conclusion

These are only a few signs of low self-esteem among many. Women who wish to improve their self-esteem should do further research with professional publications and counselors, but they might also look for support from their loved ones.

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Teaching Children Self-Confidence

A child who learns how to be self confident at a young age will likely grow into a confident adult. Self confidence means seeing yourself in a positive way. A child with a positive view of himself may be more successful as he tries new things and grows into an adult. If your daughter grows up with self confidence, she will have a feeling of self worth. Set your child up for success by teaching her to be confident in herself and her abilities.

Instructions

1 Show your child affection. This can start from the moment he is born. Feed him when he is hungry. Hold him, talk to him and play with him. As he grows, read to him and continue to play with him. This tells him that he is important, a message which lays the foundation for self confidence.
2 Allow your child to make choices on her own. When she is young, these should be choices without life-altering consequences. For example, ask your daughter what she wants for breakfast: eggs or cereal? What does she want to wear to school today? Allow your child to make these types of decisions on her own to give her a feeling of independence and control over her life.
3 Give your child a responsibility. When he is old enough, he can put away his toys or he can feed the dog. This will help him to feel as if he is able to contribute something.
4 Praise your child for her successes. Hang that scribbled artwork on the fridge. Post that report card for the entire family to see. Clap for her when she first learns to walk and celebrate with her when she learns to use the potty or read a book. Making your child feel as if she is doing well, as if her accomplishments mean something, helps build confidence in her abilities.
5 Encourage your child to try new things. If he is interested in soccer, help him join a city team. If he wants to draw, sign him up for an art class. Allowing your child to try new things when he is young will help him to avoid a fear of new encounters when he is older. Don't put pressure on him as he explores his options. If he hates playing the piano, allow him to quit without being disappointed in him. Avoiding pressure will help him to feel that new experiences can be a safe and rewarding experience.
6 Place restrictions on your child. Don't set her up for failure by allowing her to do anything she wants before she has the maturity or knowledge to handle the consequences. Know who her friends are and what type of influence they have. Teach her that negative actions (throwing a tantrum) have negative consequences (timeout). Giving your child boundaries will help her learn that there are consequences for her actions and will help her feel confident in her abilities to make correct decisions later in life.

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How to Overcome Low Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is an attitude that allows people to have a more positive outlook on themselves and the world around them. People with good self-confidence are able to have realistic expectations and be more independent in their decisions rather than rely on the approval of others. Many people have self-confidence in some areas of life, but not in others. Increasing self-confidence can lead to feeling more in control of life in general.

Instructions

Increase Self-Confidence

1 Practice positive self-talk. All humans operate by making meaning out of life events. How we interpret events can lead to how we feel about them. When we fail to pay attention to our assumptions, we may get in the habit of saying and thinking negative, self-defeating things. Practicing positive self-talk is one way to combat this.
Pay attention to your attitudes and to the types of things you say to yourself. If you find yourself saying negative phrases, such as, "I'm a failure," try to recognize the positive aspects of the situation.
2 Stop comparing yourself to others. It is natural to measure ourselves against others, but this can lead to feeling disconnected, depressed and depleted. Try to replace negative comparisons with positive, affirmative statements about yourself and others. Evaluating yourself independently will help you to focus on your own strengths and abilities as well.
3 Increase positive social activities. Socializing is key to good overall mental health, and having strong social supports keeps people from feeling isolated. Positive social activities, such as hobbies and exercise, can make you feel more positive and increase self-confidence.
A study reported by Cynthia Graber in a May 2006 edition of "Scientific American" found that outside exercise specifically can increase your sense of mood and well-being. Doing activities such as gardening, hiking and sailing or walking in the park even for a few minutes a day can have a significant positive impact on your sense of self-confidence.

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